If i was single would you xx

[ShakeysGirl]

This is a message dp has sent to someone one Facebook. I am fuming, i just called him and asked him why hes asked some girl this. He laughed am i being unreasonable to want to chop his nuts off?

Sorry that you're having a bad time dp is home now, an hour and a half early and the smell of burnt bacon is wafting up the stairs, the fire alarm did go off but he's taken the batteries out so the kids are still asleep. They were so excited as i am taking them to see dp sing tomorrow (today!) night so i am glad that we are still doing that, its about children at christmas so i'm glad that we are putting our feelings aside for a few days. Hope your xmas is as good as possible x

How did it go shakey? Make any decisions yet?

I had a fantastic christmas. Dp was great, the kids were happy and it was just like it used to be. We went out last night and as usual his mum was very rude ignoring me and the kids and he told her that he loved us, that we were his family and nothing she could do could ruin it. He said that he was going to change and make up for hurting me. I really do believe him, i was dreading christmas but it was perfect he even cooked the dinner! Hopefully his mum will back off now. I just love him, i want it to work.

Did you put the batteries back in the smoke alarm?

I thought his Mum was telling him off the other day saying how nice you were and he ought to be careful in case he lost you (or was that him telling you that)? . No wonder you feel confused - I'm confused reading this .

The person telling him off was the girl he messaged on Facebook. I can't sleep without checking my fire alarm is working i put my foot in it a bit last night as we were discussing how rude she had been and how unfair it was that she took her disapproval of our relationship out on the kids and then realised she was stood behind us. She hasn't said anything to me about it but she definately heard. Oh well.
He was really good last night it meant alot that he stood up for us.

Yep, all very confusing. And I think deep down, you are just afraid of being alone. I'd rather be alone than with that tosser.

It would have meant more if he'd not messaged the girl in the first place.... but it's your relationship. Please don't think we're telling you off, it's a bit hard to read the OP and then read that you've got a good relationship.

Just caught up with this Shakey - I'm truly glad you felt christmas went well but did you ask him about that perfume you found.

What age is he - maybe he just isn't ready to settle down yet and his actions are his way of telling you this without having to talk about it.

If this is the case would it not be easier to accept this. You sound a lovely girl and I'm sure you can do better. A relationship where trust and unreliability aren't an issue is much easier that what you have at the moment.

He's 27 and i'm his longest relationship - i can see why! The perfume was for his sister, he wrapped and labelled it in front of me. He's been great the last few days, we had a talk last night and i told him how close i was to leaving him. I said that it was like he made a huge effort when he knew i wasn't happy and when he thought that he had me he would go back to his old ways. He told me he would be devasted to lose me etc and that he really just wanted a fresh start and another chance but its his last.

read your post from begining glad you finally talked. Its so much easier to give advice rather than take it. You sound alot happier and if he makes you happy just go with the flow. Its when you begin to feel unhappy or not love him anymore its time to move on. Hope everything works out ok

Hopefully now you've talked things over and made it clear you wont stand for any more crap will bring a turning point in your relationship.

Wishing you every happiness for 2008

You did put the batteries back in, didn't you?

This guy is a waste of space. He will behave himself well for about a month or six weeks, then he'll do something shit again and you'll go through the same feelings of anger, confusion etc. again. Then he'll be lovely again, apologise, say how sorry he is, then behave himself again until the next time... and so it goes round.

Your children are learning how to have relationships from this. You and he are their role models. Are you happy with this modelling? If so, great. If not, I think you need to ask yourself why you need this man in your life so much, that you're prepared to allow yourself to be treated like this and to have your children learn how to conduct their adult relationships like this.

Remember by the time you are about 30 you usually are who you are and only really life changing things like accidents or bad illnesses etc tend to really change people fundamentally. He is you he is and he probably really means what he says to you now... he may even really intend to and want to change.... but he won't. Not really. Because he can't... not really. I agree with Madamez's post of earlier. You have to talk about this and face the facts of who and how you both are, what you are willing to accept and go from there. If your relationship's continuing depends on him changing, it has no chance. What about far into the future where you are used to each other and the desperate need and attraction is gone.... He will not have the nature to back up the present desire. He will get bored and start up his ways again with much less incentive to change.

Think carefully about the level of commitment you give to this man.