Stuff is too hard to get rid of

[Clutterbusting]

I want to be free of my stuff. I’m drowning in it. My house is a mess and all that happens when I have a sort out is it gets moved about. I spend money on storage solutions when I need to just get rid.
I want to but where to? Charity shops are picky and I have A LOT to shift. Selling takes too long and I can’t be wasteful so a skip is out. What can I do?
AIBU to think this is just too hard?

I cleared our last house of 15 years of accumulated stuff.
Frankly, put in appropriate bags, take to local tip for recycling(plastics,card,clothing). Everything else is black bag rubbish.
Put bikes and prams on free cycle. Put furniture on ebay with proceeds to homeless charity.

And did I feel guilty?
No, not desperately. It was an accumulation over a long time, involving 3 kids. Toys and books and clothes thar they had used and worn and enjoyed.

I've felt this for a long time. You used to be able to take things to the til and they'd leave it out and others would take it if they wanted it, but now the tip won't let you do that. Charity shops are all in central town so you can't park near them, and if you work then they're never open out of hours for drop offs anyway. Charity bins at supermarkets are often too small or specific about the items they want.

I think each town should have a reusing centre where people dump stuff and it goes into big piles of stuff, so if you want a new toy you pop down there first and have a look through. Like a huge huge charity warehouse.

I have autism & ADHD and I really struggle with organisation. In the summer I got a big skip and just threw everything into it that I no longer use. Honestly, it's the only way.

Look for house clearance companies. Many will take boxed useable items for a fee and hire a skip for the rest.

Part of your body problem will be thinking because you use it and love it or loved it someone else will do you need a level head and see it for the tat it is.

My problem is my kitchen. I make jams and dehydrate food and grow veg but don’t have a proper pantry. So nothing is organised.

Short of building an actual pantry to properly organise in at a loss

When mum died I had a devils own job trying to get Charity shops to take anything. I had clothes and some kitchen stuff. They took it but very very grudgingly!

On the other hand, when Dad died we rang the Sally Army and gave them 11 bags of stuff - mainly suits and ties. Obvs not YSL and Gucci new stuff but I am sure some guys getting back on their feet and needing work clothes would be happy with them. Before he retired (why the fuck did all his suits move with him???!!) he always looked very smart.

I think each town should have a reusing centre where people dump stuff and it goes into big piles of stuff, so if you want a new toy you pop down there first and have a look through. Like a huge huge charity warehouse

Is that not what a charity shop is on a smaller scale? But I do agree with you. I’d go a step further and st that the councils should organise collection of this stuff and list it online so you can see what’s there first before you make that trip. I do think you should have to pay to tip stuff that still has reasonable life left in it (I know that wouldn’t work as would just increase fly tipping) and VAT on new stuff should be doubled so we only buy new stuff when we really need it. We are drowning the planet.

OP I almost always manage to shift stuff if I post it for free on market place or put it on freecycle.

Anything like towels and bedding just bin in nearest clothing bin

Towels- at this time of year anyone you know with dogs will take the towels. Our local charity shops run out of ‘dog’ towels in the winter (for cleaning dogs after muddy walks- in case any non dog owners are confused).

Stuff should be hard to get rid of.

Recycling is still hugely energy intensive and often impossible.
Noone wants to wear your tatty old clothes, or even new stuff that's poor quality or out of style.

We all need to buy less and look after it better.

I have a rule. If it hasn't been used in 6 months I throw it

Our council recycling dump has bins for shoes and clothes that might still be useful. I'm going this morning. I have shoes I have not worn in years if ever, that need to go.

Selling on good clothes?? Really if clothes are as new and in great condition there is usually a reason for that - scratchy fabric, fiddly buttons, odd shape, so just put it in recycling.

Yes, council tips can be great!

@Anordinarymum

How can a charity shop be picky when you leave the bags of stuff outside?

You should never do this. It's fly-tipping.

If you bung everything on your front lawn/drive/similar, then photograph it and post the pic on Facebook as Free, people will just turn up and take what they want. We had to do this once, the stuff was going within an hour.

@AntiHop

I've never had anything refused ar a charity shop. What kind of thing are they refusing? I give things away on Facebook freebies groups too.

Used underwear/socks, VHS tapes/cassettes, pots with bits of food still stuck to them, unsafe electrics, broken toys, kids books which have been scribbled on etc. Found a used nappy in bag last week.

Unfortunately, we are not allowed to refuse donations so it often ends up costing up money to get rid of some stuff.

We need to get a skip here too, but I have started thinking of waste and landfill as a whole planet issue. Clutter lying in my house is no different to it lying in landfill. It is taking up the space on the planet either way.

We put some stuff on freecycle - it can be hit and miss, and I find it can take the wind out of my sails. If I am decluttering, I want it gone NOW. If I have to keep it aside for collection, and then that person cancels, it gets sucked back into the Room of Doom until next time I am in the Zone.

Had I chucked it at the start, the physical and mental space it was taking up would have been freed.

It is definitely a change in mindset for us, we have moved a few times with too much crap. In our new house we are trying to be more mindful about what we buy, but we are still wading through older belongings.

Our home won't be a restful space until we clear the crap.

It is hard. I get demotivated very quickly. But we are getting there

You can get rid of most stuff on "free stuff" pages on Facebook or next door. One woman's junk is another one's treasure.

Charity shops have to pay to get rid of a lot of the stuff just dumped outside their doors. Much of it is unfit for sale, so they pay to dispose of it.

If you wouldn't wear an item of clothing because of a slight tear, it's bobbly, it's saggy, baggy and old - neither will anyone else! That's the acid test. Also for stuff - would you use it, keep it? Hold that in your head and then separate all of your stuff out. Donate, ditch, recycle - that's your three heaps. And be ruthless.

I did a mega declutter after my husband's stroke and got rid of about 40% of the stuff in my house (including furniture). And got people in to empty the loft completely. I've still got another load to get rid of but am mentally going round and earmarking at the moment.

www.becomingminimalist.com/creative-ways-to-declutter/

This is a great site to help you.

Your mental health is more important than making life doubly hard. Take everything to the council tip. A lot of things get recycled there.

What's spent is spent.

You need this done quickly not dragged over weeks making more work

I have this issue a lot. Stuff just piles up and there's no time to go through it day to day.

I invite someone over and we borrow a shopping trolley and sort through everything, put it into black bin bags, and give to the nearest charity shop.

Would probably get a lot for it if I sold it but seems like a faff with all the shipping and posting etc.

We have a toy library at our local family centre - perhaps donate to somewhere like that, although if your DCs are teens some of the toys might be old fashioned. Any jumblesales locally? Or you could do a tabletop sale or car boot?
I feel your pain as we downsized 4 years ago but didn’t get rid of enough stuff when we moved. This holiday I have really got down to serious decluttering & realised how much the mess had been affecting me mentally. There’s a lot still to do, especially in DH’s office which we all tend to use as a dumping ground & in the kitchen, but I feel so much better for what I’ve done so far. Good luck OP! ☘️☘️☘️

If you can't get rid of stuff responsibly having tried, you do need to just get rid of it.
The crux is that from this moment onwards you need to address your relationship with consumerism and not end up in the same situation again.