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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Stuff is too hard to get rid of

738 replies

Clutterbusting · 02/01/2022 23:32

I want to be free of my stuff. I’m drowning in it. My house is a mess and all that happens when I have a sort out is it gets moved about. I spend money on storage solutions when I need to just get rid.
I want to but where to? Charity shops are picky and I have A LOT to shift. Selling takes too long and I can’t be wasteful so a skip is out. What can I do?
AIBU to think this is just too hard?

OP posts:
NdujaWannaDance · 03/01/2022 05:37

The thing is OP, the waste has happened. It's done, it's in your home and mind. So the choice is to keep it around your proverbial neck or be free of it.

That's true. I loathe waste and i try to repurpose or donate everything that still has some mileage but some things are ending up in landfill eventually, so why torture yourself over it?

My husband stupidly bought loads of packs of plastic straws for some game/challenge he'd divised for a corporate training/bonding day. He had loads left over and he brought them home. I was been shuffling them around the house for three years feeling so guilty about putting them in the bin, but even if they got used they'd end up in the bin anyway. And no-one touches plastic straws these days, they may as well be newly acquired ivory, so I'd have struggle to give them away. I finally binned them a few weeks ago.

Returnoftheowl · 03/01/2022 06:05

Facebook marketplace is excellent getting rid of anything, as long as it's free. I've rehomed the most random things via marketplace.

ToJabOrNotToJab · 03/01/2022 06:10

@NdujaWannaDance

The thing is OP, the waste has happened. It's done, it's in your home and mind. So the choice is to keep it around your proverbial neck or be free of it.

That's true. I loathe waste and i try to repurpose or donate everything that still has some mileage but some things are ending up in landfill eventually, so why torture yourself over it?

My husband stupidly bought loads of packs of plastic straws for some game/challenge he'd divised for a corporate training/bonding day. He had loads left over and he brought them home. I was been shuffling them around the house for three years feeling so guilty about putting them in the bin, but even if they got used they'd end up in the bin anyway. And no-one touches plastic straws these days, they may as well be newly acquired ivory, so I'd have struggle to give them away. I finally binned them a few weeks ago.

Aww man! I got excited reading your post - autistic dc here will only use plastic straws ! Was all set to pm you to take them off your hands until I read your last sentence Sad
IamnotSethRogan · 03/01/2022 06:13

I think you're making it harder than it needs to be. There are companies that will buy old clothes by weight and aren't bothered about the quality so find one of those and search.

Also just get a skip. It's not a big deal, you don't want you're old tat and finding someone who does might be difficult.

Cocopopsss · 03/01/2022 06:16

You’ve had plenty of good advice about throwing, donating and giving away for free.

I’d like to add that it can feel so overwhelming when you have lots of stuff to sort, so you put it off. Don’t worry about doing it all in one go if it feels overwhelming, do it in bits, one room at a time or one shelf at a time even. Remember that it won’t transform overnight, it will be a gradual process. However if you do want to get rid quickly and sorting out is more overwhelming then a skip is your best choice. Get a (non hoarding) friend to join you so you can get some guidance and have a laugh at the same time. Or a professional declutterer!

Also the hoarding/minimalism threads in Housekeeping are really helpful too.

Good luck OP, you’ve got this!

NdujaWannaDance · 03/01/2022 06:18

Aww man! I got excited reading your post - autistic dc here will only use plastic straws ! Was all set to pm you to take them off your hands until I read your last sentence sad

I don't blame them for not wanting paper straws, they are absolutely awful and you don't have to have sensory issues to be grossed out by them. But it's not really necessary to use straws at all, is it?

Or byy the metal ones tor the much more eco-friendly bamboo ones which feel very similar to plastic but are much more brittle so need to be handled gently.

YourenutsmiLord · 03/01/2022 06:23

Everything, once manufactured, will end up in a tip somewhere - whether it passes through others' hands or not. It will end up in a tip.
Take it straight to the tip. Then don't buy anything you don't have to.

1300cakes · 03/01/2022 06:26

I can’t be wasteful so a skip is out. What can I do?

Sorry OP but obviously you can be wasteful, because you already have been very wasteful in acquiring so much stuff. That's where the waste happens. You can't just buy everything you want and then hope someone will later take it out of your sight (such as the charity fly tipping pp) and think no harm done.

You and some pps seem angry at people and charities for not desperately wanting your old stuff, like if only they wanted it there wouldn't be a problem. They aren't the problem. It's you for acquiring it in the first place.

Mummyoflittledragon · 03/01/2022 06:27

everything is landfill eventually as soon as it’s made

I need that stuck to the top of my iPad!

Following with interest. I also have hoarding tendencies and recognise ‘churning’. Sad

Good luck op!

PupInAPram · 03/01/2022 06:33

@1300cakes having a go at someone who is struggling with what is clearly a mental health issue says more about you than the OP.

rurallibralady87 · 03/01/2022 06:34

@tttigress

If you know you don't want something and can't easily get rid of it at a charity shop, why not just throw it in the bin (laws permitting).

I understand your point about not wasting things, but surely for your personal good it would just be better gone by any means?

If she has a loft and 4 garden sheds full of clutter that could take a while. My bin gets collected every 3 weeks.
KCee30 · 03/01/2022 06:37

Where I live there's a 'giving page' where people give stuff away for free rather than selling. I find it's much easier to give stuff away than sell. Obviously you can't give everything away but might be a possibility.

The charity shops where I live are taking stuff but find they don't want too much so if I have a few bags. I take one bag to one of them and then another bag to another because there's a few charity shops near each other!

Gechik · 03/01/2022 06:42

Clothes, bags and shoes in those recycling bins at supermarkets
Decent small stuff can go into those charity bags that come through the door, many accept stuff other than clothes
Car boot sale for anything else worth selling.
Recycling centre on way back from car boot sale

Els1e · 03/01/2022 06:43

It is hard but not impossible. My mum has hoarding tendencies. After a bit of a crisis time for her a few years ago, she wanted help in shifting stuff. We started with each time I visited, about 3 times per week, she would find 5 items for me to take to either sell, donate or dump. When the weather was better and lawn dry, we moved onto taking groups of things out ie 48 mugs, 7 laundry baskets and working out how many she needed, which were a favourite and which were going. I would suggest get to know your charity shops and what they like. Around here the town centre one likes books, the one on the housing estate likes clothes and kids toys. Get your kids involved especially with the selling. Is there any local organisations that will help you? Ask on next door or Facebook. As they say, the first step is always the hardest. Good luck 💐

Newnormal99 · 03/01/2022 06:45

My local charity shops will take 'rags' to sell. I just mark the bag up.

If you are in a town agree Fb is a good place. I decided to sort out yesterday and between the charity shop, freebay group and a local lady who seeks on Fb to support an animal charity I got rid of about 7-8 bin bags worth of stuff out of the house.

Agree it's easier if you are in a town but cannot believe all charity shops in your area inspect the bags.

TillyTopper · 03/01/2022 06:48

Use a freecycle facebook page - take a few pics, first come first served. Stuff goes like hot cakes and you can get rid of anything around our way!

Why not tackle a room/shed at a time - I promise you life is so much easier once you have decluttered! I did our whole house 3 years ago and now won't buy anything unless we have a planned for it or it's replacing something. I also de-clutter 1 -2 rooms a month again so every room gets done in the course of a year. Doesn't take long if it doesn't build up.

Twinkleylight · 03/01/2022 06:55

Also, my local animal rescue centre takes old towels, dressing gowns and duvets to use as animal bedding.

Paq · 03/01/2022 06:57

Car boot sale. As soon as it's over divide the remaining stuff into two piles - charity shop and rip. Go straight from the car boot sale to a charity shop and then onto the tip. Don't come home until your car is empty.

diamondpony80 · 03/01/2022 06:59

Our charity shops don't even look at the stuff when I drop it off. I just hand them a box load or a few bags at the counter, they thank me, and then I'm on my way. Whether or not they keep the stuff is no longer my problem, although a lot of the stuff I take to charity shops is either new or nearly new. I tried eBay but its kind of time consuming and not always worth the money with fees, postage etc.

itsgettingweird · 03/01/2022 07:00

I get the feeling you're wasting stuff.

But clothes and toys etc can be donated to refuges and also lots of charities are collecting for refugees.

Anything like towels and bedding just bin in nearest clothing bin.

Lots of places like tips will also sell on furniture.

SalsaLove · 03/01/2022 07:01

The council were going to charge us £30 to take away our old television. DH put it on Freecycle and it was snapped up in 2 minutes.

neveradullmoment99 · 03/01/2022 07:01

@BluebellsGreenbells

Toys take to charity shops or play groups or schools

Clothes - fill the clothing banks - they’ll shrewd anything unsalable and reuse the material.

Stop over thinking it and get rid.

Toys and books are rejected by charity shops.
DinkyDaisy · 03/01/2022 07:01

Silly question-
With skips can you mix say garden stuff with other stuff?
Basically, can you have a big mix of stuff in a skip?
Our house too full. Have dh who is a hoarder but mainly in one room. Feel if I sort out the rest of the house [as I too am pretty bad] can leave his room til last or just live with one crap room!

Twinkleylight · 03/01/2022 07:02

That's a good idea re car boot sales and it's nearly time for them to start again at Easter. Start decluttering as much as you can using the methods suggested by pp and then car boot or free cycle the rest.

Find out if anyone needs anything you are getting rid of and pass them along. My local church needed mugs for their coffee mornings so I dropped off some.

Summerfun54321 · 03/01/2022 07:02

You should feel guilty about having loads of stuff no one wants. That guilt is going to stop you over consuming and buying or accumulating too much stuff in future.