Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Stuff is too hard to get rid of

738 replies

Clutterbusting · 02/01/2022 23:32

I want to be free of my stuff. I’m drowning in it. My house is a mess and all that happens when I have a sort out is it gets moved about. I spend money on storage solutions when I need to just get rid.
I want to but where to? Charity shops are picky and I have A LOT to shift. Selling takes too long and I can’t be wasteful so a skip is out. What can I do?
AIBU to think this is just too hard?

OP posts:
georgarina · 03/01/2022 07:56

*Also if I get bogged down with the thought that it's too nice to throw away and I should sell it, it just sits there creating mess.

I think of it as the price to pay for a clean relaxing home.

slashlover · 03/01/2022 07:58

Also, we don't have laundry facilities so no matter how nice your stuff is, if I open the bag and it stinks of stale smoke, weed, urine, etc., or is dirty or stained then it's going out for the rag man.

Shout out to the nice people who phone to ask if we take rags then put them in a separately marked bag and point them out when they donate so we can put them straight into the rag.

FindingMeno · 03/01/2022 08:03

I am in a similar position fwiw but not at the same scale. For a long time I have been completely different and broken the consumerist cycle, but I still have a lot of stuff I'm storing trying to deal with responsibly.
I have exhausted practical avenues to do this, and I have given myself permission to throw it away.
I don't see another option.
I can't haul it with me on house moves like some sort of punishment or leave it to my children to deal with when I die.

CurryLover55 · 03/01/2022 08:04

I have some really lovely clothes, some still with tags on, but I find selling pages a faff so I’m going to take them to an agency. I believe they give you 40% of the profits.

Gastonia · 03/01/2022 08:04

When our elderly neighbours died - not hoarders, but still had a lot of stuff - their children advertised on Facebook, piled everything outside on a sunny day last summer, and had loads of people come and take the stuff - it was for free, they didn't charge. We wandered by towards the end of the day, and they had very little left. What was left, they took out anything they could to a charity shop, and then had a small skip for what was left.

notanothertakeaway · 03/01/2022 08:05

Marie Kondo has great techniques for decluttering. Once you get started, it becomes a new way of life

Lostinafield · 03/01/2022 08:05

@Shoobydooer

I was also reluctant to get a skip but (call me stupid) didn't realise the companies recycle everything they can out of them. It's not all dumped in landfill if that's a concern.
If this is correct for all skip companies, I would just do this, OP. It's not wasteful then and the most important thing for your mental health is to be free of all the stuff and have a home that nourishes you.
grafittiartist · 03/01/2022 08:07

So tricky isn't it.
If someone would take the stuff I don't want/ need and sort it all out for me that would make it all so easy!
Things like IT stuff- that all needs sorting before it gets chucked.

londonrach · 03/01/2022 08:08

Just take into charity shop..it's easy no hassle. I see my stuff for sale on the shelf so know it's resold.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 03/01/2022 08:09

@BitOutOfPractice

Why is it more wasteful to bin it than it is to keep it, when nobody will use it or miss it, and it’s dragging you down? That seems to be the biggest waste to me.
This...

You're prioritising 'not being wasteful' (slinging stuff you neither love or use out), over your happiness...

Why would you do it?!

ohfook · 03/01/2022 08:10

Put it in a charity bin.

List it for free on gumtree or Facebook. I'm sure people have alerts set up on gumtree for free shit. Every time I list anything free, I get messages within about half an hour.

Dozer · 03/01/2022 08:10

It sounds like the charity shop didn’t actually reject stuff, you just didn’t like the staff member’s manner / looking through the stuff. If so, that’s not a good reason not to donate.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 03/01/2022 08:11

Also, I found the trick of just setting timer for 10/15/30 mins and compete against yourself of how many bags you can fill for charity /recycling.

Unless you're very well off... The good condition /up to date stuff... Sell on!

whatwasIgoingtosay · 03/01/2022 08:14

Here's the link to apply to be on the Sort My Life Out show: www.bbc.co.uk/showsandtours/take-part/sort-your-life-out

DarkCorner · 03/01/2022 08:14

It’s so hard, I agree. I’m not sure if someone else has posted this but are you in an area where Anglo doorstep collections pick up from? They aren’t a charity but do give sone to a charity called Wendy’s wish and at least it’s not wasted. They’ve just started taking basically all household items, you email and book a collection (they do once a month in my area) and leave out in black bin bags and they just come and take it away. I think you do need to say how much you’re getting rid of but they will take quite a bit! There might be other similar orgs in other areas.

Avarua · 03/01/2022 08:15

@Pickles89

I'm with you OP!!!! So much STUFF, a lot of it new/like new/perfectly decent, but cannot even give it away! Where are all the poor people who rely on food banks?! Why don't they want it? It feels so wrong to just throw it away but I think it might come to that as I may be moving house soon.
Poor people want stable housing, decent affordable childcare and safe communities. Stuff is cheap and difficult to move. They move often.
SavoyCabbage · 03/01/2022 08:15

*You're prioritising 'not being wasteful' (slinging stuff you neither love or use out), over your happiness...

Why would you do it?!*

I agree. It's wasteful of your actual life to be spending it living with a load of stuff you don't want.

You are using 'not being wasteful' as an excuse not to crack on and get rid of stuff.

autismandgin · 03/01/2022 08:20

Things left outside charity shops get binned here too.

And they’re all refusing books (gorgeous well kept children’s books), children’s clothes and adult clothes.

They say they’re inundated with Covid clear out stuff and can’t store anymore. Half our charity shops closed down and the other half can’t cope with the amount of stuff.

TheTurn0fTheScrew · 03/01/2022 08:20

Don't feel guilty about doing a tip run if that's easier than sorting through. a hundred years from now it will all be in landfill anyway. the more environmentally conscious thing is not to buy the stuff in the first place in future.

Totally agree that facebook local pages are great for this, especially if you've only managed to sort out a few things. Last night I had someone collect a single bag of toys from a toybox sift within two hours of sorting them out. I feel better posting a photo and asking for takers than sending things to charity, as you never what they're able to shift easily, or what they've got to much of.

LowlandLucky · 03/01/2022 08:21

OP You are putting obstacles in the way, set yourself a date of 31 Jan and keep telling yourself you will have a lighter home by then. Start sorting this morning, into charity shop/clothes bank, give away and bin. Book a skip for the 31st and get rid of it all. Having all this stuff everywhere is just causing you stress.

PineappleIceCream · 03/01/2022 08:22

I think you can be a bit wasteful, not very thing is necessarily suitable or going to sell in a charity shop. Most of the time there are a number of charity shops in an area so you could just do a big charity drop. Like a box for each.

Once you get down to doing this stuff it is more manageable. And once you start clearing bit by bit it gets easier.

couchparsnip · 03/01/2022 08:22

I have a tendency to hoard but am very strict with myself now after I had to clean out a hoarder's house.
My friend was a serious hoarder. She lived alone in a 2 bed house and only allowed people in the kitchen, bathroom and living room. The rest of the house was piled high with stuff. She never threw anything away and it got so bad that she didn't know where to start to sort it out. We didn't know the extent of it and I will always feel guilty for that.
She died suddenly a few years ago at the age of 46 and her DM and I took over 6 months to clear her house. Her DM was obviously grieving and felt she couldn't just hire skips because she wanted to go through everything carefully and find a home for it. She didn't want to miss something important or sentimental. There were fliers and tickets from everything my friend ever went to, every magazine she ever bought, bills and papers from houses she lived in 20 years before, that sort of thing. It was heartbreaking. I used to spend evenings there just sorting things and piling stuff in my car to take to the recycling centre.
Her DM ended up losing a lot of money because she wouldn't/couldn't sell the house before it was cleared and so she had to pay the mortgage and utilities for 6 months before the house went on the market.
Anyway, you're not as bad as my friend OP but do think about how hard it would be for people if you were to die suddenly. I found thinking about that helped me declutter.

I had to get out of the mindset that someone might want my old crap just because I once liked it. Finding the right home for something isn't going to work. You have to stop being emotionally attached to stuff and just get rid of it.

Good luck and get a skip, it's OK to throw things away. Give yourself permission to do it.

Katieandthekids · 03/01/2022 08:24

I think...

Desperate: if it's gotten out of control you need to hire a skip and dump everything.

Less desperate: Or a van and take to the dump to at least dispose of in the right way

Clothes shoes etc: take to a clothing bin like those big yellow ones outside fire stations etc

Over time: Make it a mission to dispose of at least a big bag a day of a type of item. By doing as types they will be easier to get rid.

H1Drangea · 03/01/2022 08:24

We got a skip to empty the attic
It was the best thing ever and I want one outside the backdoor again
It was so liberating throwing the clutter out
We book a tip to the trip every month and get rid of a car load at a time
Once you start , it does get easier