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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Stuff is too hard to get rid of

738 replies

Clutterbusting · 02/01/2022 23:32

I want to be free of my stuff. I’m drowning in it. My house is a mess and all that happens when I have a sort out is it gets moved about. I spend money on storage solutions when I need to just get rid.
I want to but where to? Charity shops are picky and I have A LOT to shift. Selling takes too long and I can’t be wasteful so a skip is out. What can I do?
AIBU to think this is just too hard?

OP posts:
Shoobydooer · 03/01/2022 10:57

The thing I find hardest to throw away is my DC's schoolbooks. They send them home every year with about 20 big exercise books filled with all their hard work - I just can't find the heart to recycle all their hard work.

I literally just got a grip of this last night, specialsauce! I was quite sad to get rid of the workbooks we did during lockdown - seems another world. Easy to get rid of maths and phonics type books. Kept a few with nice stories in and art. It's hard to do but they can go in the recycling at least, and in all honesty, will be unlikely to regret ever getting rid.

MomOfBoyz2 · 03/01/2022 10:59

I totally understand the overwhelmed feeling!! Try to look at it less like "the whole house needs sorting" and more " let's sort out all the toys that we don't need" and so on. You can't organise anything when you have too much stuff so just grab a bag and do 30 mins.
Have a plan of where to take things and do it as soon as you can so you feel like you've accomplished something.
This worked for me really well and eventually you'll be done!!
Getting one part finished spurs you on
Good luck

Nanny0gg · 03/01/2022 11:00

@specialsauce

The thing I find hardest to throw away is my DC's schoolbooks. They send them home every year with about 20 big exercise books filled with all their hard work - I just can't find the heart to recycle all their hard work.

I still have my university books full of notes, tons of essays, journals, revisions folders. It was all such a lot of work I struggle to ditch it.

I have at least 3 big boxes full of all this old work from me and my DC - help me let go of it please someone with your words of wisdom!

If it’s in your loft it’s a fire hazard

Got rid of ours in first lockdown (youngest DC is nearly 40!,)

It’s their stuff and they didn’t want it. It’s served its purpose.

Take a photo of anything especially precious then dump!

Xenia · 03/01/2022 11:02

This is one of my favourite subjects as I like clearing things out and was recently looking at trying to get rid of some stuff as one of my daughters (who last left home) looked in some of her 50 boxes in the garage at Xmas. We went through about 15 of them.

On this recent round of stuff I took 4 of her evening dresses into a charity shop when open last week and asked if they wanted them - they did. Then the next day once we had checked resale value online (24p for Magic something to buy the most expensive music cds of her collection and 10p the others so not worth it at all) I went to a different charity shop with the CD collection and they took those so at least they have not gone into landfill.

I might have to get rid of a huge ikea newish bed which is in pieces but Ikea only take back assembled stuff so I think that may have to go to landfill. I also had 2 or 3 large bags for my wheelie bin of very damaged toys even the very poor would not want from her collection.

Then we had the golly[ censored] badges from the 1980s - they were an interesting one - I found a company that buys those although hers were not valuable but the same company have a "rehoming" service for them so I posted those off to that company - no payment so far for anything. Sadly all the law school notes over 2 years had to go in the recycling paper wheelie bins (I have FOUR of those so it was huge collection time last week from the house) and the very out of date law books which felt like a mortal sin to throw out but charity shops don't want them and they are out of date so dangerous to use.

That still leaves about 15 boxes and 4 sacks of clothes for another day and the bed and much else... I never seem quite to clear things here before yet another adult child moves back home from university with yet more stuff.

In 2020 I was top of the list for booked trips to the council tip - so much they sent the boss to see me twice over summer 2020 as they were sure I must be a commercial gardener! Instead I was clearing dead trees and branches in a patch of my garden which had not been done for 20 years etc and removing 100 dead bushes - there is a box caterpillar - a virus from China like the other more famous virus from China.... which hit us last year. Anyway I was polite to the boss and I think he believed my (true) story. I was going about 3 or 4 times a week with my volvo estate which with seats down becomes a bit like a small van. I then cleared one son's house after his tenants left and they left vast amounts including 8 wooden pallets I had to saw in two to get in the car - all went to the tip and then my other son bought a house in Jan 2021 and the sellers as ever left loads of stuff including 40 paving stones in piles again all of which I had to move - everything in that case went to the council tip in a booked slot except the stones/slabs where I found a local man on gumtree who needed them for his garden so I drove them down.

Booking the council tip can be easier than hiring a skip if you are prepared to do a lot of trips and have a car. In our case you need your driving licence and council tax bill and must book a few days in advance. They give you a set 30 minute slot and do not allow you in before or after your timed slot.

2020nymph · 03/01/2022 11:03

@Shoobydooer

I was also reluctant to get a skip but (call me stupid) didn't realise the companies recycle everything they can out of them. It's not all dumped in landfill if that's a concern.

Ohh, I didn't realise that, sounds obvious now I think about it.

Nanny0gg · 03/01/2022 11:04

Regarding books- our village has a Book Exchange (repurposed telephone box) and also so does a local social club. Anything like that where you are?

HaveringWavering · 03/01/2022 11:04

@Anordinarymum

How can a charity shop be picky when you leave the bags of stuff outside?
That’s a fly tipping offence where I live. You have to hand them in.
Cattenberg · 03/01/2022 11:04

@CheeseyHam

Just get a skip.

The skip people then sort through it and recycle what they can.

I love a skip, we have one on our drive at the moment

I have a relative who hires a skip every year! I always thought that was very wasteful, but I envy her her uncluttered home.

I didn’t realise the skip people recycle what they can. That’s good to read.

specialsauce · 03/01/2022 11:06

@Shoobydooer - good idea, I'll select just 3 or 4 schoolwork books to keep. English ones with his crazy beautiful stories would be nice.

@Nanny0gg - 'Got rid of ours in first lockdown (youngest DC is nearly 40!)'. Made me laugh - it's so hard isn't it!

Going to tackle this today

Thank you!!

Nanny0gg · 03/01/2022 11:07

Also, we have a local Facebook eco Reuse/Recycle group. List most stuff on there and it’s gone in a day!

minimecantrollerskate · 03/01/2022 11:08

I got very cluttered and I did this:

dvd's and cd's got boxed up and sold to Music Magpie by using an app on the phone to scan them. Only got pence for some but it was better than nothing and they collect from your doorstep. There were some that MM wouldn't take so those went to the charity shop.

clothes, makeup, jewellery, books - sold loads on vinted. When all the best stuff had gone, I used a discount button to sell stuff cheaper in bundles. I made over £350 in 6 months which I am putting towards a better holiday this year.

clothes - there is a bin in local car park for any clothes that wouldn't sell or else put them out with the recycling

facebook free pages - advertise stuff for free and people will collect from the door.

toys (great condition ones) gave to a local toddler group who were very grateful.

charity shop - I don't go into town very often but when I do I take at least 2 bags every time.

It is getting easier to declutter now that DD is getting older as I can finally get rid of a lot of toys etc.

GloriaSicTransitMundi · 03/01/2022 11:12

I'm in London and got a 'drop and fill' skip for about £90. They arrive at a specific time, drop off the skip outside your home, and return in one hour. When they return they take the skip away, filled, half filled, empty, whatever. This is a great motivation as you need to have your stuff ready and start chucking in your stuff as soon as it arrives, and costs much less than regular skip hire. Part of savings is no council fee as it's so quick, the company explained to me.

I paid two 17 yo lads to empty and demolish an old shed, they set aside whatever they - or their dads - wanted, and the rest got bagged into rubble sacks. The shed itself was easy to demolish as it was pretty crappy, and ended up as stacks of timber and a roll of roofing felt. They started work at 10am, the skip was booked for 3pm and at 4pm it was all gone and I had an empty space at the bottom of the garden to plan vegetable beds. Cost £90 skip, £20 rubble sacks, £100 each lad - best £310 I ever spent!

sleepyhoglet · 03/01/2022 11:19

Good quality - charity shop
Good quality- advertise for low prices on Facebook or gumtree
Old or broken- bin bags

Clutterbusting · 03/01/2022 11:25

@HikingforScenery How would I ship to orphanages abroad? I really like that idea as people in this country often have the same problem with lots of stuff so don’t want it either. To feel like someone has truly benefitted would make it so much easier for me to handle! I will look it up but wonder if you know of any?

OP posts:
tectonicplates · 03/01/2022 11:27

My parents have a huge problem with hoarding but also buying junk or using free cycle to get more and more stuff! I don’t want to be like them and my problem is a tiny fraction of theirs but I know the mental issue is there.

Lots of useless things come in as “gifts”. If I go to my parents house I pretty much always come home with a bag of things I didn’t want or ask for. I have been firm. I’ve been pretty rude and they’re just about beginning to stop.

So your parents are hoarders, and they're trying to deal with their problem by offloading all their stuff onto you! This is a major problem.

CaptainMyCaptain · 03/01/2022 11:30

@Anordinarymum

How can a charity shop be picky when you leave the bags of stuff outside?
You are not supposed to do that. They can't use it and have to pay to have it taken away.
Clutterbusting · 03/01/2022 11:31

Some of the problem which I’m sure many of you will identify with is the sheer volume of it all. I’ve got rid of things lots of times but it is a small dent in what seems an insurmountable volume of things. Also I procrastinate very badly in all aspects of life - due to mental health which is probably also linked to all this clutter. If there is no actual deadline like a house move or scheduled visitors then I put it all off. I’ve got paperwork that I need to address but that hasn’t a time limit and I just leave it. I’m on tablets for anxiety but they don’t help with the putting everything off. I realise this is all silly and I’m not helping myself by keeping the things but when I find it all hard to address I shut down and don’t do it

OP posts:
Clutterbusting · 03/01/2022 11:33

@tectonicplates sometimes but actually mostly it’s stuff they go and buy because they’re addicted to shopping also it seems! Or things they picked up free but don’t need. My DM will go out of her way to collect something free and not even ask if I want it or not!

OP posts:
Doubledoorsontogarden · 03/01/2022 11:33

Facebook buy nothing, this changed my life, I got rid of soooo much stuff. People collect, sometimes I’ve dropped off for people who can’t. I’ve got rid of bikes, mugs, pots and pans, beds etc.

My junk can be someone else’s treasure.

Butchyrestingface · 03/01/2022 11:34

@Clutterbusting

Some of the problem which I’m sure many of you will identify with is the sheer volume of it all. I’ve got rid of things lots of times but it is a small dent in what seems an insurmountable volume of things. Also I procrastinate very badly in all aspects of life - due to mental health which is probably also linked to all this clutter. If there is no actual deadline like a house move or scheduled visitors then I put it all off. I’ve got paperwork that I need to address but that hasn’t a time limit and I just leave it. I’m on tablets for anxiety but they don’t help with the putting everything off. I realise this is all silly and I’m not helping myself by keeping the things but when I find it all hard to address I shut down and don’t do it
So just bag up as much as you can and take it to the recycling unit and start fresh. Don't try to sort through all the stuff and bother with donations or selling.

Just get rid.

DinkyDaisy · 03/01/2022 11:35

I understand Clutterbusting- I really do...

OnaBegonia · 03/01/2022 11:36

@thenightsky
Yes, they've been outside, could have been peed on by animals/humans, just generally unhygienic.
The shops can't wash the items, would you wear clothes left lying outside?
It's just rude to dump at shop doors, just hand them in or put in a clothing bin.
Don't get me started on the donations we've had to the foodbank 🤬

specialsauce · 03/01/2022 11:36

@Clutterbusting

Sometimes just starting is the hardest part. So you just have to start. Say to yourself - I'm going to do this pottering and clearing for 10 minutes, then you'll find you get a bit more stcuk in and if you're lucky you'll get on a roll.
I'm going to try this right now . . .

GiltEdges · 03/01/2022 11:37

Take it to a recycling centre. At least that way, although you're still technically throwing it away, it's sorted into different types of rubbish i.e. wood, hard plastics, electronics, general waste, so some of it can be re-purposed.

Blackberrybunnet · 03/01/2022 11:37

Have just cleared out a house I've lived in for 40 years. Very painful getting rid of stuff. how about putting red stickers on things you absolutely can't live without, and asking a friend to chuck out the rest for you? Or ... rent a lockup, put everything you think you don't need into it and store it there. Anything you event touched by this time next year can go to the recycling centre.

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