Stuff is too hard to get rid of

[Clutterbusting]

I want to be free of my stuff. I’m drowning in it. My house is a mess and all that happens when I have a sort out is it gets moved about. I spend money on storage solutions when I need to just get rid.
I want to but where to? Charity shops are picky and I have A LOT to shift. Selling takes too long and I can’t be wasteful so a skip is out. What can I do?
AIBU to think this is just too hard?

I’m sat here in a towel with wet hair, reading these posts so I can put off the room that I dread going into. The room with no purpose but a dumping ground. I’ll get dressed and then by hook or crook I’m going in - may not be back for some time!

By the way, if you have any old medicines in the cupboard, especially prescription ones, please give them to a pharmacy as they have specific ways of disposing of them in a safe way. A lot of people don't realise but most pharmacies accept old medicines.

Another thing that can help is getting somebody to help you. I have a great friend who is very good at chucking out, so she comes and we start with clothes or whatever, and she says when did you last wear it, do you like it, and so on and then we throw it out. She doesn't have the sentimental attachment to it, so helps me to be tougher on decision making .

She also helped me to package all the vinted sales, to make sure the stuff left the house .

[quote Clutterbusting]@HikingforScenery How would I ship to orphanages abroad? I really like that idea as people in this country often have the same problem with lots of stuff so don’t want it either. To feel like someone has truly benefitted would make it so much easier for me to handle! I will look it up but wonder if you know of any?[/quote]
Careful with this. There are so many people who collect stuff to send abroad, only to find that the postage/courier costs a fortune. It's a common mistake. If you take want to help charities abroad, it's best to send them money. Sending your unwanted stuff to other countries is really not an effective way of getting rid of things and can end up costing you hundreds of pounds. I've seen this happen numerous times.

[quote Clutterbusting]@tectonicplates sometimes but actually mostly it’s stuff they go and buy because they’re addicted to shopping also it seems! Or things they picked up free but don’t need. My DM will go out of her way to collect something free and not even ask if I want it or not![/quote]
you might try Flylady...or at least bits of it. her 15 minute fill a bag dash is a good un, also when I have bad spells (I am not on meds but lost my husband and felt overwhelmed by the clearing out, admin and stuff on top of being bereaved) I did a "five things a day" thing.....do five jobs, OR throw five items, on really bad days, the jobs were small like showering or eating a proper meal. I am much more sorted now but i revive the 5 jobs a day when It gets busy or when I start to feel ovewhelmed...if five jobs a day feels too much then do three...or even one....actually that's my biggest tip of all. Do something no matter how small, every single day....inch by inch life's acinch, yard by yard its bloody hard.
Here endeth the sermon.

@Clutterbusting

I’m sat here in a towel with wet hair, reading these posts so I can put off the room that I dread going into. The room with no purpose but a dumping ground. I’ll get dressed and then by hook or crook I’m going in - may not be back for some time!

You can do it set a timer and stick to that time. Be ruthless and once your on a roll it will make you feel so much better. Start with the easy stuff that has no purpose and not used anymore this will then create space for you.

If thinking of donating items, be honest and think 'would I buy this?' if it's no just bin it.
If you've had no use of something for years then it's unlikely anyone else will want it.
Be brutal!!

take a look - select out some things which have memories

bin the rest

don't be a slave to it

@tectonicplates

By the way, if you have any old medicines in the cupboard, especially prescription ones, please give them to a pharmacy as they have specific ways of disposing of them in a safe way. A lot of people don't realise but most pharmacies accept old medicines.

I belive that all of them who have an NHS contract to supply prescriptions must do this for most medications. Not all pharmacies will accept injectables and the needles and syringes.

I hate it when people say charity shops are picky as if it’s a bad thing. They’re a BUSINESS not a rubbish tip!

If people put the effort in to sort what they do ste in to only saleable items then they would take them happily. Otherwise they end up paying the council to dispose of YOUR junk! You literally end up taking money off the charity if you donate crap (although “ragged” clothes can be sold on, but it helps to pre sort those into a bag marked up as such)

Seriously, no one will find your rusty frying pan useful. Bin it yourself.

Do ste means donate - I hate autocorrect - especially when it doesn’t make sense!

[quote Clutterbusting]@HikingforScenery How would I ship to orphanages abroad? I really like that idea as people in this country often have the same problem with lots of stuff so don’t want it either. To feel like someone has truly benefitted would make it so much easier for me to handle! I will look it up but wonder if you know of any?[/quote]
Please don’t use this as an excuse to hang onto stuff!

You need to seize the moment each day (even if in a very small way). Please don’t think, Oh. I can ship it in a couple of months. That won’t help you

A useful way to think about things if you are struggling with decluttering is to know that no matter what you do with the stuff now, it will all end up as rubbish, in landfill or recycled eventually.

So while it may be ideal to re-distribute things and reuse items where possible, it's all gonna end up in the bin or the recycling at some point. This can be very liberating way to think if you are struggling.

Sometimes you just have to get stuff out of the house. You need to keep the momentum going so do what you need to do to achieve that. Resist the impulse to overthink.

@Anordinarymum

How can a charity shop be picky when you leave the bags of stuff outside?

That's fly tipping.

That's flytipping is the new cancel the cheque.

Very useful thread and I will seek out the other ones. I am in the position of clearing out my parents' large home. They apparently kept an awful lot of stuff and then acquired more from deceased relatives. As each child moved out their wardrobe space has been taken over by clothes, books, hobby equipment. Yes there might be someone out there that wants this stuff but connecting them to it seems disproportionately wasteful.
Fashions change. China teasets that cost a fortune 50 years ago I can't even give away on Facebook.
Good luck OP.

@Tiredalwaystired I would never give a rusty frying pan to the charity shop! I’m a hoarder yes but those go in the bin! Please don’t assume that hoarders all keep rubbish and dirty/damaged stuff or give them away. I know some do but it’s not always that simple. It’s the amount of decent things in my house that I find hard to handle because it feels wrong and wasteful to bin something that someone else may be able to use.

[quote Clutterbusting]@Tiredalwaystired I would never give a rusty frying pan to the charity shop! I’m a hoarder yes but those go in the bin! Please don’t assume that hoarders all keep rubbish and dirty/damaged stuff or give them away. I know some do but it’s not always that simple. It’s the amount of decent things in my house that I find hard to handle because it feels wrong and wasteful to bin something that someone else may be able to use.[/quote]
Sorry, I didn’t mean to link that to a hoarder! It was a comment to those that think they can give any old crap to a charity shop and they should be grateful. I didn’t make a connection between the two - if it came across that way it wasn’t intentional. Having worked with charity shops for a decade the disgusting items that people saw fit to “donate” (ditch on us) we’re truly disgusting.

I’ve started and it feels good. I’m taking a break for lunch and setting a limit for today but I’m happy enough with the sorting I’ve done. Nothings left the house but a bin bag and recycle bag has been filled and are going out shortly.

Best thing somebody ever said to me was.
The waste has already happened, you've already spent the money and now your spending more money housing it. Just get shot of it.

Just hire a skip and be done with it. We did just before Christmas and it's been glorious walking around my clean, uncluttered house the past two weeks.

@Summerfun54321

You should feel guilty about having loads of stuff no one wants. That guilt is going to stop you over consuming and buying or accumulating too much stuff in future.

I think this is incredibly judgmental and not at all helpful for the OP. Hoarding is a recognised mental health problem and she has reached out for help. There are very few people who enjoy living in a messy house. She does not need someone like you being so condescending towards her. Fortunately most people on this thread realise this and have reached out with some excellent suggestions.

@Tiredalwaystired I must have misunderstood. It’s a touchy subject for me. I do know what some people give is dreadful. Headless dolls and barbies with no arms teddy’s with holes in etc but for me it seems to be because the charity shops are so full they sometimes seem really disappointed when you show up with a box even before they know what’s there. I have a friend who gives away the most beautiful things - things I would be trying to sell as they’re dead expensive and in pristine condition. I went to the charity shop with her and the volunteer virtually rolled her eyes before coming to the car to “check” the items. She changed her tune and couldn’t get them out the car fast enough but the initial attitude was that my friend was another scummy person offloading crap. Friend said she’ll not give there again and donates elsewhere.

Great start @Clutterbusting! Enjoy your lunch then back to it. Imagine how great you'll feel by tonight when you've made such a good start.

I've cleaned out the fridge - I've been putting it off for 2 weeks and it took 20 minutes.

Gonna start on the schoolbooks . . .

Im declutteringvatm.
The biggest challenge, under the stairs, not tackled yet though.

Something that a hoarder's husnand said to her on "hoarder next door" on youtube helped me.

The woman was standing there with a box of wires, cables, adapters and god knows what else and she coukdnt throw it out because she feared there was something important in there. Her husband said, if you throw this all out, and then later realise exactly what we need, i can get it for you on amazon prime the next day.

That prob does sound v wasteful but just being reassured / reminded that really, anything you realise that you really do need, you can get hold of it the next day if not the same day.

That helped me. That will be the thought in my head as i go forth!!

I do know that they’ve been overwhelmed since covid - an entire country with enough time on their hands to have a massive sort out has meant that they can afford to take the best items on offer right now (space In the store rooms is often very limited). They are there to make money for their charity first and foremost, not to be a removals service. Having said that, staff attitude can be a real issue and I’m sorry for the response your friend got - that’s not nice.