Stuff is too hard to get rid of

[Clutterbusting]

I want to be free of my stuff. I’m drowning in it. My house is a mess and all that happens when I have a sort out is it gets moved about. I spend money on storage solutions when I need to just get rid.
I want to but where to? Charity shops are picky and I have A LOT to shift. Selling takes too long and I can’t be wasteful so a skip is out. What can I do?
AIBU to think this is just too hard?

[quote Isseywith3witchycats]@ChardonnaysPetDragon put the lego sets on ebay they make good money[/quote]
I've lost the instruction booklets I think, but thanks, I'll look it up. Have never sold anything on Ebay, but it can't be hard.

Do you have access to those clothing bins ? They sometimes recycle fabric and are often in supermarket car parks.
I suggest you do one cupboard then one room. Otherwise it’s too overwhelming.

Just get a skip.

The skip people then sort through it and recycle what they can.

I love a skip, we have one on our drive at the moment

@Clutterbusting

I want to be free of my stuff. I’m drowning in it. My house is a mess and all that happens when I have a sort out is it gets moved about. I spend money on storage solutions when I need to just get rid. I want to but where to? Charity shops are picky and I have A LOT to shift. Selling takes too long and I can’t be wasteful so a skip is out. What can I do? AIBU to think this is just too hard?

Take sacks of stuff to the recycling bins in a supermarket.

Do you have a local tip? Fill car loads and take it down there. Very cathartic.

Call one of the charities that collect larger items.

When you say charity shops are picky - I you have a load of rubbish, then? ...

Let the Tip become your new friend .....

I agree with you op. Binned stuff goes in landfill. We should all avoid that if possible. Toys can go to charity shops or donate to playgroups or mums n tots groups, toy libraries etc.

I'm a hoarder. I have great difficulty getting rid of stuff.

What works for me is dealing with a bit at a time. It could be literally just a drawer, a cupboard or a pile in a corner of a room.

It makes it more manageable. Practically, because the quantities are small and stuff that is thrown out can be put in a bin liner with the rest of the rubbish, and stuff for charity shops is easier to drop off when it's just a carrier bag full.

But it's also easier emotionally. It's not such a big deal, it's easier to do because you only have to do it for a little while and don't get discouraged or sidetracked so easily.

I'm a voracious reader and get rid of books once or twice a year. I put them in big strong shopping bags and take them to a couple of towns nearby where there are plenty of charity shops close together, and drop off a bagfull at each. Doing another drop of books is on my to-do list for tomorrow, and I have to go to the town in question anyway for something I can't get locally.

I've actually got to the point where I like going to the tip. It feels like such an achievement, and I don't feel guilty because an awful lot of stuff there is recycled, and what isn't goes in an incinerator that generates electricity. Admittedly, it's easier for me than for many people: I have an estate car, the tip is only 1.5 miles away and you don't have to make an appointment. It's easy to fit in if I'm going shopping or anything.

Both my parents were hoarders, and I wonder if it's inherited or acquired by example. When they died, I had to clear their house of 30 years worth of hoarding. One weekend alone, some friends came to help, and we took 32 large estate car loads of crap to the tip. They hoarded packaging and old newspapers and all sorts of shite. They lived in Milton Keynes, where there is a splendid recycling place. I left all the decent furniture, crockery, cutlery, good clothes, electrical stuff etc and the charity that runs the centre came and collected the lot.

I really wanted to keep a wonderful 1950s retro suite of white oak bedroom furniture that they had bought from Waring & Gillow when they were first married, but had nowhere to keep it. It would have sold for a small fortune in a Brighton retro shop, and I often think of it and hope it went to a home where it will be appreciated.

OP, all I can say is that getting rid of stuff is therapeutic. The sense of relief and achievement when you have finally cleared a room of useless and/or unwanted stuff is wonderful. But I also understand how hard it is.

I still have my late partner's motorbike gear, I can't bring myself to chuck it away and haven't had any buyers when I've advertised it, despite it being almost brand new. It's cluttering up the floor of the wardrobe, it's really in the way, but I just can't bear to chuck it out. Or the last pair of shoes I bought him. I feel too attached to it, and hope that soon I'll be able to deal with it.

I think its definitely worth reminding about how you eat an elephant.

You can't eat an elephant all in one go. Its too much. You have to eat an elephant bit by bit. Small goals and small targets bit by bit.

Choose an area or room to start with that makes you feel like you have had early success even though you've got loads more to do.

Its all about psychological tricks like this to try and help motivate you and so you don't feel like you have to do it all in one go or that its an impossible task.

Remember that buying sheds and paying for storage for stuff you don't want is simply adding to the waste. You don't need to do this.

The whole point is its about doing this once to break the cycle and start over with a new attitude to accumilating stuff in the first place (which again merely adds to the waste).

Clearing out is the start of changing the mindset that generates waste. Using the excuse that you hate waste is keeping the old mindset and allows you keep generating waste.

Book a collection from Icollectclothes. You just need to bag everything up and put it outside your front door and they will take it away. They will take toys, books, CDs, kitchenware etc. as well as clothes.

@Clutterbusting

Thank you so much for all the advice and especially the posts with links for places I can use to get rid. I’m sorry I can’t reply to you all but I’ve just spent well over an hour catching up on all the comments. I appreciate what pp have said about not buying stuff but in truth (and I am not trying to make excuses) this “stuff” has been accumulated very gradually over decades. Some dates back to my own childhood (I’m 50) and lots has been given to me by my parents. My parents have a huge problem with hoarding but also buying junk or using free cycle to get more and more stuff! I don’t want to be like them and my problem is a tiny fraction of theirs but I know the mental issue is there. Lots of useless things come in as “gifts”. If I go to my parents house I pretty much always come home with a bag of things I didn’t want or ask for. I have been firm. I’ve been pretty rude and they’re just about beginning to stop. When they pass I’m going to have a whole other problem. If it’s hard to get rid of the stuff from my small house and garden I don’t know how I’ll manage theirs. I digress. I’m going to join the housekeeping thread as someone suggested. I’ll download some apps and get sorting out. I don’t like leaving stuff out the front or do car boot as I have issue with my things being on display. Comes from being a child sat at the car boot while people turned their nose up at your things because they wanted it cheaper. Probably why the charity shop thing gets to me. Some of the workers have been rude like about books etc because they don’t want them, and I was then not inclined to go through that again. I think I do need some counselling though.

Well done for recognising that it isn’t sustainable or sensible to keep everything anymore (and pushing back against your parents). The more you deal with the thoughts, feelings, patterns and multi-generational hoard the more you protect your own DC from replicating these problems in their own adult lives.

You don’t owe anybody a home for their 50 year old bar of soap.

@ChardonnaysPetDragon

I seem to have boxes of Lego and Duplo I thought were long gone. What's the best way of disposing of that? Or can I sell those?

Music Magpie buys Lego by weight. You won't get as much as you would selling on eBay but it's simple and reliable. www.musicmagpie.co.uk/sell-lego/

If you find a skip too expensive and struggle with the waste aspect, our local recycling centre has separate bins for all different sorts of waste and also charity collection bins for clothes and books, and a specific place to drop off items which can be reused and sold for charity. It's a great environmentally friendly one-stop shop, if you did it in a van it would still be cheaper than a skip.

I've been decluttering for about 6 months now. It feels so much better but it does take a long time.

I listen to A Slob Comes Clean podcast and watch The Minimal Mom on YouTube. I find they sort of hypnotise me into decluttering and before I know it I've got another box to donate.

I've done it a bit at a time so it wasn't overwhelming. One day the bathroom cabinet, next day one cupboard, or even one shelf if that's all I could manage.

I've gradually taken things to the tip or charity shop and sold a few things but generally selling things is more trouble than it's worth.

One thing from Minimal Mom is that you will think something is worth way more than it is. If no one wants to buy it it's not worth anything.

If you have a friend who could keep you on track that could really help, just to give you a gentle kick if you find yourself stalled.

You can do it!

Most charity shops around us won't accept donations, they are drownin in stuff. I was lucky to find a shop last week in the next town that took my unwanted christmas gifts.
Our local dump has hoppers- they type where you open a hatch and post bags- and usualy the best place to donate unwanted cothes, there are three or four at my dump, supermarkets often have them too.
Otherwise freecycle.

It’s true.

They didn’t ‘miss out’ - you wasted it by not dropping it off correctly.

Thank you, Silver, I'll look into it.

Life is much lighter without clutter. I only keep stuff that I use, and a few things of sentimental value. Keeping stuff "just in case" doesn't work for me.
If plates break I buy more at a charity shop. Just bought 6 plain white IKEA dinner plates for £1 because I broke a couple last week.
I find lots of stuff very stressful, I like a minimal home.

@Nixbox

We have some clothing recycling points next to some of the local glass recycling areas, not just at the main recycling centre. H&M give you £5 voucher for each bag that you have in for recycling - they don't check the contents. I'm sure other retailers offer similar schemes which would help you to clear stuff out gradually, although I acknowledge the risk of buying more clutter using the vouchers. Some food banks take donations of clothes and shoes.

Do H&M still do this £5 voucher clothes exchange? A link to some info about it would be great as I can't find anything. Thanks

For anyone who leaves things outside charity shops when they are closed, there are several reasons why this isn't a good idea.

1. It causes a fire hazard. A charity shop in a town near me very nearly burnt down when some stuff left in their porch overnight was set alight by vandals.

1. I was once told that goods outside charity shops at night are a target for drunken lads to piss all over when they're on the way home from the pub.

1. The items can be walked all over and infected by germs and urine from rats and other vermin.

1. Because of the possibility of contamination, everything left outside has to be chucked in a skip by the volunteers, causing a considerable cost to the charity to dispose of the waste.

So please don't do it.

I have trouble getting rid of things too. You've reallllly got to stop buying stuff. Get one big burst of energy and send all the stuff that the charity shops don't want to the dump. The most important part: never buy unnecessary stuff again.

Freecycle or Freegle.

We sometimes put things in good condition by the front gate, they always go within the day.

I can't post a link to the H&M thing because it automatically opens my app, but everything I can find online tells me that they're still doing in store recycling.

The thing I find hardest to throw away is my DC's schoolbooks. They send them home every year with about 20 big exercise books filled with all their hard work - I just can't find the heart to recycle all their hard work.

I still have my university books full of notes, tons of essays, journals, revisions folders. It was all such a lot of work I struggle to ditch it.

I have at least 3 big boxes full of all this old work from me and my DC - help me let go of it please someone with your words of wisdom!

It's ok @SilverRingahBells - I googled H&M Group recycling and found it. I had been searching on the H&M online shopping page and it was nowhere to be found. Got it now

It's so hard to have a good clear out when you don't want to add to landfill. You can recycle, donate some stuff but there is a lot of crap that is hard to know what to do with. I really struggle with this!

@ChardonnaysPetDragon

I seem to have boxes of Lego and Duplo I thought were long gone. What's the best way of disposing of that? Or can I sell those?

Sell if it’s in good condition. Sell figures separately