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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Stuff is too hard to get rid of

738 replies

Clutterbusting · 02/01/2022 23:32

I want to be free of my stuff. I’m drowning in it. My house is a mess and all that happens when I have a sort out is it gets moved about. I spend money on storage solutions when I need to just get rid.
I want to but where to? Charity shops are picky and I have A LOT to shift. Selling takes too long and I can’t be wasteful so a skip is out. What can I do?
AIBU to think this is just too hard?

OP posts:
Blabla81 · 03/01/2022 09:52

Yard sale?

LittleMissTake · 03/01/2022 09:52

Some charity shops will collect from your home.

Nanny0gg · 03/01/2022 09:54

@Pickles89

I'm with you OP!!!! So much STUFF, a lot of it new/like new/perfectly decent, but cannot even give it away! Where are all the poor people who rely on food banks?! Why don't they want it? It feels so wrong to just throw it away but I think it might come to that as I may be moving house soon.
Whoa! HNg on there, Lady Bountiful!

Just because you need a food bank for a little while it doesn’t mean you want or need some one else’s ancient cast offs!

The Op says age has toys, for example and her children are now teens. Maybe they aren’t that desirable? Maybe they are, but don’t assume because people are in need of assistance for a while they need other people’s old stuff

JuergenSchwarzwald · 03/01/2022 09:55

@Anordinarymum

How can a charity shop be picky when you leave the bags of stuff outside?
Leaving stuff outside is fly tipping.

And if you go in with it, they will say they don't need it. Or they put signs up to say they don't need anything.

I know what you mean OP. it's quite easy to get rid of clothes though because there are plenty of textile collecting bins (though they can often be full as well, but I leave bags in my car until I get lucky and can get rid of them). There are book banks as well.

But toys. What do you do with toys? I think I will end up taking them to the tip and seeing if the guys who work there take anything decent out to resell or whatever. I wish there were toy collecting banks as well.

lottiegarbanzo · 03/01/2022 09:55

Is there anyone else you can ask to take stuff over to a charity shop? A nearby teenager perhaps? Even to take it in while you sit in the car?

Gonnagetgoing · 03/01/2022 09:58

Free cycle, FB, local library, charity, playgroup etc for toys. Get friendly with someone who does charity collections (I did). Get your teenagers involved to help dispose of/find solutions to this.

Nc123 · 03/01/2022 09:59

I coach people to declutter so happy to give a few tips.

The toys sound like a quick win as they’re just taking up space in your house now that your kids are older. Bag them up and either take them to a charity shop or ask on your local Facebook group if anyone can collect them from your house for charity.

Would your teens help you in getting rid of stuff? My kids are younger, but they are allowed to keep the money from anything they sell. It’s surprising how motivated this makes them.

It is ok to get rid of stuff to the tip, especially if it’s broken, damaged or damp (and when you have lots of things stored in a small space the damp does tend to get to them). Try to reframe it as reclaiming your space.

Happy to chat more by PM if it would help.

notanothertakeaway · 03/01/2022 10:00

@JuergenSchwarzwald

Could you offer toys to a nursery, or play group, or womens aid?

I have sometimes donated items to our local social work centre

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 03/01/2022 10:01

I seem to have boxes of Lego and Duplo I thought were long gone. What's the best way of disposing of that? Or can I sell those?

MaggieCassidy · 03/01/2022 10:02

Our local skip hire recycles everything according to material. They have a great video on their website showing the different stages of filtering it goes through, so see if there’s one nearby that does similar.

I agree that if you sort stuff as you go along, you may have the time and headspace to sell/list for free but there comes a time when it just becomes overwhelming and large-scale ditching is more appropriate. As others have said. If you pull out things in good Nick, leave them out at the front of your house for a day or so and they usually go. A post on your local FB page with the road name works here. In fact, when we’ve had a skip and had to ditch stuff not worth selling, it usually disappears from the skip anyway! It’s easy pickings for people who upcycle and do car boots etc and they’re always on the lookout.

RedHelenB · 03/01/2022 10:02

@Clutterbusting

I want to be free of my stuff. I’m drowning in it. My house is a mess and all that happens when I have a sort out is it gets moved about. I spend money on storage solutions when I need to just get rid. I want to but where to? Charity shops are picky and I have A LOT to shift. Selling takes too long and I can’t be wasteful so a skip is out. What can I do? AIBU to think this is just too hard?
Get the skip, had one during lockdown and it was great getting rid of stuff I'd been meaning to get rid of for years. Now I'm getting rid of stuff as I buy something new.
Nc123 · 03/01/2022 10:04

Just to add, often local preschools, community groups or toy libraries will take toys. Even doctors or dentist surgeries may want a box of toys to keep kids amused in the waiting room. So it’s always worth asking on a local Facebook group if anyone needs free toys.

lottiegarbanzo · 03/01/2022 10:06

I think a really important tip is to recognise that once you give something away, it is no longer yours. You cannot set conditions on the use of something you no longer own.

You can hope that people won't re-sell, or will pass on to charity, or that the right kind of poor people will gratefully receive your stuff (I see so many FB posts like this, it's incredible). But actually, it's none of your business what other people do with stuff that is now theirs.

That's why charity shops are good. You know that if they think the stuff is sellable, they'll make something from it. They are all quite ruthless about what they'll accept, they have to be, disposal of rubbish costs them tip fees, whereas for you it's free.

Cocopopsss · 03/01/2022 10:08

What I’ve noticed is that due to Covid people are a bit more reluctant to buy used. Also, places that would have accepted in the past like nurseries and GP surgeries are also less likely to accept but it’s worth a call to ask.

Doyoumind · 03/01/2022 10:09

If you can wait a few months, hire a van and do a car boot sale. The big ones often have a charity there that collects all the left over stuff.

RealBecca · 03/01/2022 10:09

If a charity wont take it and nobody wants ot free then the recycling centre is the only solution.

traka · 03/01/2022 10:13

If you or a friend have a car go to the tip and things that are too good like clothes just take them to recycling banks. We use the one at our local fire station

You need to be brutal if you want to actually achieve your goal

We're moving house in the next year and DH went to the tip four weekends in a row recently. We've got rid of so much crap, tat, junk and shite

Isseywith3witchycats · 03/01/2022 10:13

please people saying just leave it outside a closed charity shop DONT it gets opened ragged through leaves a mess and if the weather isnt good gets wet and dirty and yes would you like to be the person opening the shop and have to clear opened bin bags just to get into the shop we have people do this at ours and its a pain in the arse and sadly the scratters who go through the bags have taken all the good stuff out so yes most of it ends up in the bins in our back yard and costs us money to dispose of

Isseywith3witchycats · 03/01/2022 10:15

@ChardonnaysPetDragon put the lego sets on ebay they make good money

WonderfulYou · 03/01/2022 10:16

Some great advice on here.

If nothing already said:

  • Freecycle
  • charity bins for clothes
  • charity collections for larger items, I think they do shelled items collections too now
  • carboot
  • Facebook market place
  • gumtree

It takes a long time for any difference to show. So I would do one room at a time.
Start on the easiest room which will take the least time and have the quickest results. It will give you a push to do the rest.
Also:

  • take photos to show progress
  • some things are too broken to fix so just recycle them
  • try and separate your emotions from it
  • if everything is sentimental take photos of it before you get rid and be strict about what bits you keep

My mum is a serious hoarder (she struggles to get rid of actual rubbish incase it comes in handy) but when she has got rid of things she may have a few days of saying how she NEEDS to get it back but actually she has never regretted getting rid out any specific item.

NancyDrawed · 03/01/2022 10:18

Has anyone mentioned Ziffit yet?

I have a problem throwing out books. I keep meaning to send a box Ziffit (disclaimer I haven't actually used them yet, I get halfway there then get distracted and start on something else!)

Ziffit have an app where you can scan barcodes and they give you a price for the book. Their website says you box them up and they collect the box and pay you once they've chekced them into their system (it's not going to make you loads of money, but may help with the not being wasteful and you can give the money to charity via the site I think)

www.ziffit.com/en-gb/

WonderfulYou · 03/01/2022 10:18

Also recycling it and not chucking it in general waste isn’t an actual waste as it will be made into something else.
So don’t feel guilty about throwing it in the recycling bins.

Cuddlywaterfall · 03/01/2022 10:19

Haven't rtft but has anyone mentioned icollectclothes? www.icollectclothes.co.uk/
They come and collect your stuff, not just clothes but kitchenware, toys etc. It's amazing.
You can also sell clothes by weight. There's a collection place in the car park at my nearest Homebase, 20p per kilo I think. They take everything except underwear.

ufucoffee · 03/01/2022 10:19

Round our way there are taxi vans that you can get to move items or take them to your local rubbish tip.

Luredbyapomegranate · 03/01/2022 10:19

Look at getting a clutter clearer in to help you if you can afford it, they will take the stuff that can be donated, and help you Chuck what can’t.

Or just hire a skip. You will feel so much better when it’s gone.