Term Time Only vs Part time?

[neverbeenskiing]

I have 2 DC, one in nursery and one at primary school. I WOH full time, term-time only in a job that I'm passionate about but is stressful and can be emotionally draining. DH also works FT. He is the higher earner, manages a large number of people and has to travel quite a bit. He does his fair share of housework and is brilliant with the DC when he's here but he works long hours and we feel like ships that pass in the night sometimes. I'm exhausted and constantly feel like I'm spinning plates.

It's lovely having the school holidays off but during term-time my job is all consuming and I feel like I have very little left to give for DC and DH at the end of the day. Working full time, term time only also means I never have any time to myself. I'm either at work or looking after the kids. I have struggled with my MH on and off the past couple of years and I know I'm supposed to practice 'self care' but the constant demands of juggling parenting and work (not to mention trying to keep on top of housework, elderly relatives who need help, one or both DC picking up various illnesses or having to isolate every other week) always get in the way.

I've been seen a job advertised that I could do from home, 3 days a week. The salary is lower on paper but because I don't currently get paid for school holidays my take-home pay would be roughly the same. It's less responsibility than my current role but is in a related field, looks interesting and would still allow me to 'make a difference'. There would be opportunity for progression down the road if I wanted that when the kids are older and life (hopefully!) feels less hectic. I told a couple of friends I was considering applying as I was feeling quite excited about it, but they told me that I would be crazy to give up a term time only job. They said TTO is "the holy grail" when you've got DC and I'd definitely regret it. Their advice was to try to stick it out in my current job as it's only so tough now because the kids are young and when they're older I'll be glad I did. Now I'm having second thoughts.

WWYD?

There would be opportunity for progression down the road if I wanted that work out if this is important to you. If it isn't I'd stick to TTO as the holidays are a pain in the bum other wise

Don't stick with TTO just because of comments from others that it is the "holy grail". It may be for them, but it doesn't mean it is for you too!

DH pointed out that one of my friends who was advising me to stick to my current job works 2 days a week from home and has done since her DC were born so she has no experience of what it's like to WOH full time with young children. I can see why, from her POV, my job can't possibly be that tiring or stressful because I get 12 weeks off a year and that sounds blissful. But the reality is I'm still run ragged the majority of the time.
On the other hand, I can see why once the kids are older and hopefully life feels less stressful generally I might regret giving up the holidays. It's interesting and helpful to hear everyone's different perspectives on here because all I can think is "I'm exhausted, I can't keep this up" but the DC won't be this demanding forever.

Is it TTO or TTO plus 12 days working in the holidays? Because you still need to find some sort of childcare for those 12 days

Mine are all at school now and I’ve negotiated to switch to TTO from PT.
If the issue is tiredness could you drop half a day so you get some time without the kids?
The mental load of finding childcare for the many holidays isn’t to be underestimated.

Is it TTO or TTO plus 12 days working in the holidays? Because you still need to find some sort of childcare for those 12 days

Sorry, it's TTO plus 2 weeks. Fairly standard for a TTO contract so forgot to mention it in OP.

If the issue is tiredness could you drop half a day so you get some time without the kids?

No, there's absolutely no way I can reduce my hours in my current role. I already have to bring work home with me regularly to keep my head above water.

@guardiansofthegalaxychocs

Mine are all at school now and I’ve negotiated to switch to TTO from PT. If the issue is tiredness could you drop half a day so you get some time without the kids? The mental load of finding childcare for the many holidays isn’t to be underestimated.

But then equally, the need for childcare (& thus the mental & monetary load of organising it) in the holidays is for a set amount of time as well, after which many children will probably want to be spending more time with their friends than their parents/family.

I work TTO and part time.

I used to do 5 days and it was a killer. Now I work 2 long days and have more time.

I did 4 days at one point but my day off was a half day at school for my children and I felt condensing everything into one morning was too much.

@neverbeenskiing

Is it TTO or TTO plus 12 days working in the holidays? Because you still need to find some sort of childcare for those 12 days

Sorry, it's TTO plus 2 weeks. Fairly standard for a TTO contract so forgot to mention it in OP.

If the issue is tiredness could you drop half a day so you get some time without the kids?

No, there's absolutely no way I can reduce my hours in my current role. I already have to bring work home with me regularly to keep my head above water.

That's my contract too. And thought that would be the case but wanted to check. I love TTO but the days during the holidays I find an absolute killer. Like everyone is in happy it's the holiday mode on the last day of term and it's like I'm in tomorrow 😒😒 Especially as AL can't be taken so reduces the time further.

am permanently overwhelmed and behind: in school and at home.

This is exactly how I feel.

I think you know your own mind on this so go for the new job. You aren't going to regret having the extra free time every single week. And with grandparents helping in holidays its a no brainer.

Like you say the dc will want to go to holiday clubs anyway. They get so much benefit from that. It's not just your salary paying for clubs, it's DH too.

I do 4 days and wouldn't enjoy being off every school holiday. The summer break in particular looks like murder. I take my leave in the school holidays so we can go on trips but my kids do not behave well if we are at home. Right now we are supposedly having a chill out day and they are playing loud music and play fighting. It is NOT chilled out!

I expect it depends on your dcs and how much they can just chill out at home and how much your dc need to be occupied and entertained.

On the day I don't work I pick up and drop off at school which is nice but I'd not want to do it all week long, it gets tedious (as I found out when the after school club shut last year).

If you go part time all year round there is no guarantee that you would be able to get annual leave in the school holidays; your colleagues may get their requests in first. How would you cope with this?

WhateverHappenedToMe as I've said GP's are very happy to help out so whilst DH and I will obviously request AL in the holidays so we can have time with the DC, we are lucky that we would have help.

I swapped from tto to pt recently and I feel massive relief. Everyone bangs on about having holidays off being the best thing ever but I hated it, hated that holiday care was never my husband’s problem, hated how the long summer dragged and that I literally never had any time for myself. Now I have a much better work life balance and am a much more pleasant parent all around. My husband works compressed hours so we only need to cover 2 days a week in the holidays and you can take annual leave!

It sounds as if your DC are still young but one thing worth thinking about is that holiday childcare seems to be most tricky from around Y5/6 to Y8/9 when they are too old for full on holiday clubs but not necessarily old enough to be left at home alone every day for weeks at a time.

That said, given what you've posted I would still seriously consider the p/t role, particularly as you will be WFH - it feels as if it would give you the balance that you need/want.

Do your terms match up with the kids terms? Where I work is a different LA and there is often discrepancies between holidays where I work and where colleagues kids go to school so they’re TTO but have to pay for holiday clubs also. Bit of a nightmare

I’m term time only and physically knackered during term time, I can see why it appeals to you but the holidays would be hard work with young children and working

It sounds as if GPs will be a great help with the holidays. It's also worth finding out how flexible the 3 days a week is. A friend of mine used to work an extra day the week before and after half-term and then less during half-term.

I would (and have!) move from TTO to PT all year round. Much better for the mental health to have that time to yourself every week, to get stuff done and have some time away from responsibilities. Go for it.

Part time.

Imagine booking a day holiday for medical appointments, friends wedding, funeral, interviews, complete day off with no kids, long weekend, your own birthday.

It gives you freedom and progression.

(My friend is TTO and she wasn’t even allowed to attend our friends funeral)

I guess it depends on your line manager. I work tto, we're all mums and my manager is very relaxed about appointments, children etc. but like you said it's full on!

Previous to this I worked 3 days, my childcare was grandparents and it was nice to have 2 days of not having to do the daily grind and going in during half term was quieter on the roads.

For me personally tto works better now one of the my children is at school

In your position I would probably go with the option of 3 days WFH.

WFH is a big help to your household organisation anyway as you can make the most of 5 mins here and there to pop a wash on, or pop the hoover round / prepare dinner in your lunch break .

I worked term time when my son was young and I loved it, but I also worked part time hours 9.30 - 2.30 so was always there for school pick ups and had time to pop into a shop on the way .

If you have support for school holiday child care already identified I would go with the shorter working week . You have two days per week with your children in the holiday anyway, before you start taking any annual leave .

I don't find sorting childcare an issue (I'm 22.5 hours a week), I do a mix of longer days, time off (me and DH separately and together) and clubs.

I work three days a week, including during all school holidays, and it is glorious. Even if work is stressy I am only there for 20 odd hours a week, so it never gets to me. Good affordable childcare is key to this, which it sounds like you have, so definitely my vote is for the part time work

I worked as a teacher for one year, my children were in reception and year 2 at the time. The guilt of doing so much work was horrendous and I was exhausted and emotional the whole year.

I now work 30 hours a week PT and it is perfect. My children are older now and they don't need much looking after in the holidays, and my employer is very flexible and lets me work whatever hours I want.

I like the flexibility of having days off when I actually want them as well as being much more present (physically and emotionally) for my children, unlike when was when I was term time and working very long days and weekends too.

I work 2 days per week TTO on a job share, I had to take a pay cut but it is wonderful. Could a job share be considered?

I know what you mean about the part time maybe being the better option but have you checked out how many weeks of annual leave you would get in the potential part time job?

My dh (full time) only gets 25 days plus bank holidays and it doesn't seem much at all. He also struggles to get time off in the school holidays sometimes as other colleagues want it too.