Term Time Only vs Part time?

[neverbeenskiing]

I have 2 DC, one in nursery and one at primary school. I WOH full time, term-time only in a job that I'm passionate about but is stressful and can be emotionally draining. DH also works FT. He is the higher earner, manages a large number of people and has to travel quite a bit. He does his fair share of housework and is brilliant with the DC when he's here but he works long hours and we feel like ships that pass in the night sometimes. I'm exhausted and constantly feel like I'm spinning plates.

It's lovely having the school holidays off but during term-time my job is all consuming and I feel like I have very little left to give for DC and DH at the end of the day. Working full time, term time only also means I never have any time to myself. I'm either at work or looking after the kids. I have struggled with my MH on and off the past couple of years and I know I'm supposed to practice 'self care' but the constant demands of juggling parenting and work (not to mention trying to keep on top of housework, elderly relatives who need help, one or both DC picking up various illnesses or having to isolate every other week) always get in the way.

I've been seen a job advertised that I could do from home, 3 days a week. The salary is lower on paper but because I don't currently get paid for school holidays my take-home pay would be roughly the same. It's less responsibility than my current role but is in a related field, looks interesting and would still allow me to 'make a difference'. There would be opportunity for progression down the road if I wanted that when the kids are older and life (hopefully!) feels less hectic. I told a couple of friends I was considering applying as I was feeling quite excited about it, but they told me that I would be crazy to give up a term time only job. They said TTO is "the holy grail" when you've got DC and I'd definitely regret it. Their advice was to try to stick it out in my current job as it's only so tough now because the kids are young and when they're older I'll be glad I did. Now I'm having second thoughts.

WWYD?

I do part time
And it’s lovely
Teachers just tend to “live for the holidays”
Which is no way to live

A couple of days in the week to get jobs done and have some time to look after yourself sounds like a great option freeing you (and presumably DH) up to do family stuff at weekends.

This was my thinking. Currently weekends are stressful and I feel pulled in different directions as I want to spend time with DH and the kids because I feel like I barely see them in the week but there is also domestic stuff that needs doing and I have to bring work home most weekends.

TTO all the way!!

Term time only is the Holy grail.

I’ve just upped my hours in a TTO job as someone left after I spent two weeks training them. I’m lucky to work from home but it’s very intense. I have young ish child and two have special needs. During term time I’m exhausted. My DH does help but he has a very busy and demanding job and the after school childcare and a lot of the cleaning falls to me.

I think term time only is great but usually it seems to be education based and they’re always quite full on.

I would take the part time job. It suits you better right now & I think TTO workers actually miss out on a lot of their own children's school activities like sports days etc. which obviously isn't an issue once they're older. It sounds like the part time role would suit your life better right now.

Just check whether you will have some regular contact with other colleagues if it is 3x days WFH - it can feel quite lonely as a newbie if you have never physically met anyone in the team.

This is a very good point. Definitely something to think about.

how flexible would the hours be on WFH? Not saying you could manage all three days without childcare, but if some flexibility around hours, do some in the evenings at holiday periods and juggle with partner?

I work 3 days a week (Mon, Wed & Fri), & by Sept both DC will be in school so I'll have 2 days home to get stuff done.
Holidays can be a juggling act of taking annual leave between myself & DH, but PIL have them both 2 days a week over the holidays when we need them too, so we usually only have to cover 1 day between us unless we want to take more time off.
It really works well for us - I can do pick-ups & drop-offs & after school clubs. And DH can take a days annual leave on one of my days off & we can have some quality time together.
I think pt works great but yes you do need cover in the holidays.

@LanaDelBoy

Presumably working TTO you still have annual leave you can use for yourself? Whereas P/T you need to use most of your annual leave for holiday childcare.

But then you have fewer working days in term time.
I guess it depends how you want to sort out child care.

TTO arrangements usually swallow up annual leave.

That's very kind of them, but seems a very big commitment and I would worry about making a decision that relied on grandparents to make it viable.

You're right, it's a big commitment. They already have the youngest two days a week during term time. This wasn't our idea btw, entirely their suggestion. We would have been happy for him to be in nursery FT but they really wanted to do it. They are both very fit and active and feel it "keeps them young". Obviously if we got the slightest inkling it was getting too much for them we would make other arrangements.

@neverbeenskiing I’m TTO plus 2 weeks on 30 hrs per week in very stressful role with lots of responsibility. Even in the holidays I’m worrying about work to come. I love most of the job.

I’d take the part time role in a heartbeat.

I’m not sure how long I can sustain my current role. Plus TTO doesn’t always work well with your children if their schools end up on slightly different holiday cycles to your contract.

People think TTO is the holy grail but it’s often not.

People think TTO is the holy grail but it’s often not.

I thought the same before I actually did it.

Maybe school hours TTO or 2.5 days a week TTO might actually be the holy grail for me, but I'm not going to find a TTO job with less hours and less responsibility without taking a major pay cut. As nice as the holidays are, when I'm out of the house from 7am to 6pm every day and still having to bring work home with me during term time it doesn't feel worth it. I spend the half the holidays worrying about going back.

But I'm also aware that the grass isn't always greener and I don't want to inadvertently do anything to make life even more stressful for myself.

I’m currently facing the same dilemma although with teens so no childcare issues. Term time only is fab in lots of ways but recently I feel burnt out during the term, counting down the days to the next holiday and not enjoying weekends because I’m so tired and there’s so much life admin to catch up on.
I’m not sure being so stressed and bogged for 6 to 8 weeks at a time outweighs the holidays anymore!

I’m not sure being so stressed and bogged for 6 to 8 weeks at a time outweighs the holidays anymore!

This is what I'm trying to weigh up. I also feel a huge amount of pressure to be constantly doing fun, exciting or enriching activities with the DC in the holidays because I see so little of them during term time so even the holidays can feel quite stressful but in a different way.

Could you work p/t term time only? I used to work 18 hours over 3 mornings term time only, it means that I only missed taking him to school for 3 mornings, I had 2 days for catching up on housework & shopping.

Yes! That's exactly how I feel. And then I get back to school and my (mostly) child free colleagues are actually rested and I'm not...

OP, it sounds like part time is 100% your preferred option and I totally understand your reasons.

Don't stick with TTO just because of comments from others that it is the "holy grail". It may be for them, but it doesn't mean it is for you too!

Sometimes the hardest part of being a parent (or just being an adult to be honest) is trusting your gut and making decisions based on what you know is right not what you "should" be doing.

Could you work p/t term time only?

That's the dream. But not possible in my current role. I could probably find another part time term time only role but not without a big pay cut.

I actually prefer PT to TTO as I get a break from the children during the looooong summer holidays and they get to have fun with a babysitter.

Financially TTO might be better but my sanity is valuable too!

I work 4 days a week in term time and two days a week in the holidays.
With this, me and H can just about manage all holidays/ inset days between us using our leave.
Is there a possibility of asking the new job for an arrangement like this, if they offered it to you?

I asked when they offered me the job and thought I would tell me not to be such a CF but they agreed!

Could have written this post. I'm in the same scenario although 4 days term time only in an independent school . Lots of my mum friends wfh part-time and it seems so flexible. I find the commute knackering and school isn't as fun since Covid.
I'm selectively applying for roles that would develop my career long-term but happy to bide my time until I get the right thing.
I think you should definitely apply!

I work 4 days a week but get 9 weeks holiday over term time. I find that's a good balance as I like days off when the dc aren't around!

I'm TTO but would def swap for 3 days a week all year round. I work 10 hour days, am permanently overwhelmed and behind: in school and at home.

I wouldn't like to work term time if it was full time. That's still the majority of the year.

I'd go for part time option but see if u can get it more flexible. Use ur holidays to cover what u can of school holidays. Is there option to buy extra holidays at work or flexi time? Cld U try work out that u do 2 days at school holidays but maybe 3.5 days during the term? Work shorter days when kids r off but catch up on the evening?