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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour from hell

74 replies

Enoughisenough0 · 01/01/2022 18:50

Posting here for traffic mainly, I moved into a new house 6 weeks ago and my ndn has taken a serious dislike towards me for reasons unknown. I tried to introduce myself to all the neighbours and she refused to even look at me, I sent a Christmas card which was ripped up and thrown into my garden so after this point I gave up. But since then she has been purposely banging on the walls at all hours of the night, slamming doors all night and morning which makes our house shake, playing loud music and walking her dog into my front garden to do it’s business. I have ordered cctv as I am now living in fear for unknown reasons. We are a small quiet family and haven’t ever caused problems for anybody, the lack of sleep and worry about leaving the house is now causing me a lot of anxiety and I regret moving to our dream home. We cannot up and leave as we have spent £4500 so far on the properly and this will be a loss we cannot afford to replace. I don’t feel we should have to move because this person has decided to bully us but I’m at a loss of what to do. I have enquired with environmental health who told me it’s normal noise and they cannot act on it as I cannot prove it’s deliberate. I made the mistake of getting angry and making all the same noises back in retaliation which has made her do it even more. I could honestly cry and I don’t know what to do please help.

OP posts:
Alleycat1 · 01/01/2022 19:02

Have you spoken to any of the other neighbours about her? Perhaps the previous owners of your house had similar problems with her.

HavfrueDenizKisi · 01/01/2022 19:04

Oh dear. Could be why the previous owners moved?

Sounds like it's nothing to do with you as a person. They most likely have problems themselves.

I'd install cameras and attempt to completely ignore. Getting a response from you is what she appears to want unfortunately.

If you get actual evidence and keep a log of events then you could eventually speak to the police as you are being harassed. And they will speak to her.

Otherwise not sure what do advise. Other people with experience will be along with better ideas.

AnxiousHeffalump · 01/01/2022 19:07

Is it a single person living next door?
What we the previous occupiers of your house like? Was it a single person or a family?
I’m just thinking that maybe the noise form your family is more than she is used to (even though it could well be normal living noise) and she is retaliating.

Aquamarine1029 · 01/01/2022 19:09

This is so awful. Document everything.

Theunamedcat · 01/01/2022 19:10

Is your front garden fenced off?

Ilikewinter · 01/01/2022 19:12

Hummm I'm going to have a wild guess this is the reason the previous owners moved.

Original poster
Enoughisenough0 · 01/01/2022 19:13

Thanks for the replies, the previous family were large (5 children I believe but teenagers and older) so I’d imagine the noise to have been horrendous. I’m nervous about asking other people about her as they could be friends and it may make things worse, but I think I will have to try this if only for support. I can’t for the life of me work out why she has ramped up the noise, I’d understand if it was retaliation but there isn’t anything for her to be angry about, we’re respectful, no animals, we’re in bed by 10pm, no parties or loud visitors either.

OP posts:
Original poster
Enoughisenough0 · 01/01/2022 19:14

It is fenced but there is a wide pathway without a gate as there isn’t anything to fix it onto due to the layouts

OP posts:
Bakerrrtep · 01/01/2022 19:16

Oh OP Flowers

Really bizarre behavior from NDN.

I would ignore completely. If you react, she will feel justified to amp up the bad behavior in retaliation and it will get worse.

I would make contact with the other neighbours and try and find out a bit more background info - on her, the previous owners, if there have been problems historically.

emsmar · 01/01/2022 19:16

What a bloody nightmare Could you check with the police to see if she's been reported for harassment or anything previously?

Funnylittlefloozie · 01/01/2022 19:17

Get yourself a Ring doorbell. Unfortunately I think your neighbour is a Grade A nutter, and you just have to cut her no slack at all. If she does anti social things, you report her, if she lets the dog poo in your garden you scoop it up and return it to her (this is why you need the Ring doorbell). Mostly though, you just ignore her.

Elieza · 01/01/2022 19:19

You could ask other neighbours about her in the course of conversation. If you word it carefully you won’t cause offence.

littlecrocodiles · 01/01/2022 19:20

Sounds awful for you op.

I would go back to Environmental Health as it doesn't have to be deliberate. If you report noise nuisance to them then they have a duty to investigate (Environmental protection act 1990, section 79).
Councils normally ask you to fill in diary sheets so you can show how long it's been going on for etc.

EightNationNavy · 01/01/2022 19:23

It's really tricky as any documented disputes would have to be mentioned when you do sell...how well recorded was the noise query/complaint?

We had neighbours from hell and saved and saved and sold up at a loss when they were briefly quiet. Lost thousands but absolutely no regrets. Sorry.

I would say, don't cower - do go out and speak sharply to her if you e.g. spot the dog crapping. You will feel better for standing up for yourself and as she's a woman she's unlikely to do you serious physical harm.

But do start saving. And do consider taking the loss and moving if you can. We got caught by a house price drop - if I could have come back from the future and told myself to immediately sell the house I'd just bought, because it would be cheaper and much less misery, I would have!

user290814356289 · 01/01/2022 19:28

My neighbours a dick too op.

Disliked us from the start. Has had so many ridiculous and petty complaints.

He's been told to fuck off for the last time just a couple of weeks ago and I told his adult kids if he speaks to me or anyone in my family again he will be reported for harassment.

debwong · 01/01/2022 19:30

It sounds like it's not personal, she just has an issue with anyone living there.

Don't let her know it's getting to you, as that would give her satisfaction. But do try to record her leading her dog to poo in your garden, and report her for that.

CheesecakeAddict · 01/01/2022 19:31

Did you cut down a bush in your garden that she liked? Wink

In a seriousness though, I'd pop around and ask her point blankly if you have offended her. I doubt you have but it might be enough to shock her.

emsmar · 01/01/2022 19:35

Got any mental relatives you could invite round to scare the shit out of her? I mean as a last resort..

StellaGibson118 · 01/01/2022 19:39

Youve spent nearly 5k on the property- doing what? Was whatever you did with it noisy, disruptive etc? Either way she sounds like she has MH problems.

Id get a Ring doorbell but I wouldnt be surprised if she tries to take it down, she sounds quite erratic. I suppose at least youd have evidence of that on camera too.

StellaGibson118 · 01/01/2022 19:39

Sorry i see you've ordered cctv

leavingthispoohole · 01/01/2022 19:39

If she rents you coukd try snd makr contact with the landlord if you can fibd out who it is?
We recently moved in part because of a twat neighbour and her yappy dog so i really feel for youSad

LuluBlakey1 · 01/01/2022 19:46

Be very careful asking other neighbours- you can't know them very well and they might be friends of hers or see it as a way to keep in her good books if they are scared.
Do you and she own the properties or rent them?
If you rent, I would move - what have you spent £4500 on? Could some of it go with you to another property? If you own it, I would sell. She is awful and even if she calmed down a bit now, she will do it again next time she's upset. Noone without some kind of personality/psychological problems would ever behave like that- ever.
It must be awfulFlowers
It happened to us years ago with a nutter who rented the house next door and turned out to be an ex-con, alcoholic and wife-beater. Fortunately he was put back in prison and his family moved away.

Original poster
Enoughisenough0 · 01/01/2022 19:48

The property is housing association not owned, as our previous property was damaged by the council and they were responsible for rehousing us. The property was in an unliveable state due to the amount of animals living here previously, so the money has gone on cleaning and basic decorating. If we move now we have to leave behind brand new flooring etc which makes me feel very bitter and upset, as we had no plans on moving again. I have considered perhaps sending her a letter asking her if I have offended her and to knock on my door and talk, and if she doesn’t I presume the noise will stop or I will report her for intentional harassment. I know it sounds very passive but I’m at the end of my tether. She is a very intimidating large woman, she mixes with dodgy people so I worry about what she could do to us.

OP posts:
Theunamedcat · 01/01/2022 19:54

Speak to the housing association ASAP before it escalates if they have knowingly rehoused you somewhere that there is a neighbour issue its unfair not to tell you they told me about my neighbours having conflict before I moved in

Cam2020 · 01/01/2022 19:59

Document everything but leave it for now. Don't even acknowledge her. Bullies tend to fuck off once it's clear they won't get any reaction from you.