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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour from hell

74 replies

Enoughisenough0 · 01/01/2022 18:50

Posting here for traffic mainly, I moved into a new house 6 weeks ago and my ndn has taken a serious dislike towards me for reasons unknown. I tried to introduce myself to all the neighbours and she refused to even look at me, I sent a Christmas card which was ripped up and thrown into my garden so after this point I gave up. But since then she has been purposely banging on the walls at all hours of the night, slamming doors all night and morning which makes our house shake, playing loud music and walking her dog into my front garden to do it’s business. I have ordered cctv as I am now living in fear for unknown reasons. We are a small quiet family and haven’t ever caused problems for anybody, the lack of sleep and worry about leaving the house is now causing me a lot of anxiety and I regret moving to our dream home. We cannot up and leave as we have spent £4500 so far on the properly and this will be a loss we cannot afford to replace. I don’t feel we should have to move because this person has decided to bully us but I’m at a loss of what to do. I have enquired with environmental health who told me it’s normal noise and they cannot act on it as I cannot prove it’s deliberate. I made the mistake of getting angry and making all the same noises back in retaliation which has made her do it even more. I could honestly cry and I don’t know what to do please help.

OP posts:
Theunamedcat · 01/01/2022 19:59

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oakleaffy · 01/01/2022 20:14

@emsmar

What a bloody nightmare Could you check with the police to see if she's been reported for harassment or anything previously?
@Enoughisenough0 That sounds absolutely awful.

I had harrassment from a bizarre person, and googled them and found they had 'form'' for nasty, unreasonable criminal behaviour.

It might be worth pursuing to see if the other people who lived in your house had problems with this woman.

The problem person I speak of has ''Form'' and also had caused people to move house, despite the expense.

I'm so sorry .. it might be best to sell up and move.

What a nightmare.

oakleaffy · 01/01/2022 20:20

@Funnylittlefloozie

Get yourself a Ring doorbell. Unfortunately I think your neighbour is a Grade A nutter, and you just have to cut her no slack at all. If she does anti social things, you report her, if she lets the dog poo in your garden you scoop it up and return it to her (this is why you need the Ring doorbell). Mostly though, you just ignore her.
''Grade A nutter''

Indeed.

Harassers usually are.

There is no reasoning with them, and they appear to enjoy conflict.

Nice neighbours are so important.{Eg, peaceful quiet ones}

WonderfulYou · 01/01/2022 20:46

She could genuinely just have issues but it could be that she wants a friend or family member to move into that home instead which is why she’s trying to drive you out.

As PPs said get CCTV and document everything. Don’t be afraid to report her.

WeatherwaxOn · 01/01/2022 20:54

@Theunamedcat

Honestly she can't do much more than she is doing now you on the other hand could chili pepper her dog by putting chili powder down on your garden use an ultrasonic repellent you can do allsorts in retaliation but speak to your housing officer first
It's not the dog's fault. This is terrible advice.
IncompleteSenten · 01/01/2022 20:58

Don't stay in a situation that will make you ill because of £4500
Yes, it's a lot of money but it's gone. It's not worth clinging on to at the cost of your mental health.

Brigante9 · 01/01/2022 21:12

Move, honestly, it’s the only answer. We had horrific neighbours, playing music 7pm-7am every night, punched me. It was our first owned flat and he left us no choice but to move. There is no reasoning with idiots like this. It hurts to leave behind stuff you’ve paid for, it’s really bloody unfair but it’s worth it. If she’s HA too, put in a huge complaint.

Theunamedcat · 01/01/2022 21:16

Ultrasonic repellant is fine the chilli pepper not so much but loads of people enthusiastically reccomend it for cats

startled · 01/01/2022 21:26

I think she may want you out so that someone Maybe family can have it

Original poster
Enoughisenough0 · 01/01/2022 21:33

I have managed to find out this woman reported 2 people for benefit fraud when they didn’t even claim benefits and complained a previous family was too loud with their musical instruments (that they didn’t have). I really have walked into a trap haven’t I? I’m glad to know it isn’t personal after all but I’m now dreading what is to come next if she is this unhinged. If I ignore it I feel she will think she’s won and will continue to make noise knowing there are no repercussions for her. I don’t want to be bullied by her and creep around my house in fear she will treat us like a fun game.

OP posts:
Mybalconyiscracking · 01/01/2022 21:37

You see, I would get a few friends and relations over and go round and have an”serious” word!
Put the fear of God into the silly bitch, why should you be the one who is scared?

IncompleteSenten · 01/01/2022 22:01

I have a fantasy about starting a 'rent a scary as shit bunch of blokes' business.

For a fee they come round to your house and you sit in the garden talking loudly about how nice the new house is and no, the body of the twat who hassled you before hasn't been found yet...

Slowfoxfast · 01/01/2022 22:32

Document everything, times, level of noise and all anti social behaviour. Keep recordings of excessive noise. If she is an HA tenant you can make a complaint. If she is a home owner you can contact the environmental health team at your local council. If you feel threatened in any way, call the police. Environmental health will act on multiple reports (with my council you can log online) and the more evidence they have, the better. You do not have to put up with this.

LuluBlakey1 · 01/01/2022 22:36

@Theunamedcat

Honestly she can't do much more than she is doing now you on the other hand could chili pepper her dog by putting chili powder down on your garden use an ultrasonic repellent you can do allsorts in retaliation but speak to your housing officer first
That is a stupid and cruel suggestion. You sound like the OP's neighbour. The dog is not to blame.
HollowTalk · 01/01/2022 22:41

I'd go back to the Housing Association. It's outrageous that they've housed you next to her and knew you'd spend a lot of money on the property. Do whatever you can to raise a complaint about this.

Bignanny30 · 01/01/2022 23:07

Im sorry to say that I have known other people who have lived in housing association properties and have reported such behaviour from their neighbours time and time again and the perpetrators have been warned but then been given another chance followed by another chance etc etc by the housing association, and in the end the victimised family ended up moving out. I’ll bet you 10 to 1 that is why the previous family moved out. You can record things, document things and contact the landlords but I’m sorry to say these nutters usually get to stay and you end up moving out. Or worse still, one day the nutter does something dreadful. Have you never watched ‘neighbours from hell’ on tv. I’m sorry to have to say this but I’m just telling it how it is !! Best bet - go round and blow her bloody head off before she blows yours off !!! That’s not a serious suggestion by the way, before someone accuses me of inciting violence !!!

JellyMouldJnr · 01/01/2022 23:09

I

StoneofDestiny · 01/01/2022 23:18

Ignore her and don't react at all.
Log everything.
Talk to your housing association about things that are relevant ie excessive noise. Make sure it's in writing/e mail to ensure a record is there. Chats on the phone are no good.

HiJenny35 · 01/01/2022 23:25

Forget the money, don't report anything because she'll start reporting you, move. It's not going to get better and you'll make yourself ill. Gutting loosing the money but you aren't going to win here. The only way to win would be if she ramped it up so much she put you through hell so you'd have enough evidence to get her out, you don't want to live through that. Just forget the money.

nalabae · 01/01/2022 23:30

Just know you’re not the issue. I had new neighbours downstairs move in and instantly complained about me, I had no idea anyone moved in or knew who they were. I wrote them a nice letter, tried to speak to them but everything was a complaint, they tried to have me evicted with my HA.

My HA did get onto me but eventually because they started making lies and got caught out the HA ignore them.

Don’t let her bully you, it’s your home you live how you wish. I would confront her and tell her to do one.

Like your neighbour they ones I have downstairs like to bang around and blare the radio. They’re cowards because they say nothing when they see me and put their heads down.

Chimley · 01/01/2022 23:31

Are you able to report her behaviour to her landlord/HA? Whoever it is will surely know about her previous antics.

DracarysThis · 01/01/2022 23:34

As others have said, she sounds completely mental.

Having put up with a similar situation for almost 15 years, it became obvious our neighbour knew how to game the system. She'd once sat outside the main entrance to a&e after being arrested for her own brand of crazy, only to deliberately wet herself, bit one officer and spat on another. Her punishment? Admonished for MH reasons, allowed to come back and assault my mum with no action taken. I moved three years ago, but I share your pain - sometimes you have to write off a loss, love, because you can't put a price on your own sanity. Flowers

noirchatsdeux · 01/01/2022 23:34

I had this with my last flat - also HA. The downstairs neighbour did much the same...playing music at stupid times, banging doors at 2am etc. He also threatened delivery drivers, anyone who walked past his door to come up to my flat (there was no other way to get in/out of the building).

Last straw for me was one NYE when he stood in the hallway shouting abuse and repeatedly threatened to hurt my cats and 'punch my faggot boyfriend out'... we left for the night, called the Police and reported him, then the minute the HA offices opened in the new year I called them - they straight away said they would take him to court, which they did...for the period of time before the case came up he was subject to an order which had the power of arrest attached to it if he harassed anyone who came in the building, or anyone in my flat. That order was extended to 2 years by the court after the hearing.

I ended up staying at my ex husband's flat for 3 months (he spent most of that time staying at his girlfriend's) and applied for a move...I got evidence from my doctor and psychiatrist (I'm bipolar) which put me higher up the rehousing list. It took exactly 6 months to be rehomed by the HA...I found out just before moving from one of the neighbours that he'd harassed at least 4 other people out of my flat previously.

I'm afraid moving is the only way to get out of the permanently.

noirchatsdeux · 01/01/2022 23:37

*get out of the situation permanently

Original poster
Enoughisenough0 · 01/01/2022 23:53

I appreciate all your advice and kind words it has really helped me tonight while I’ve been hysterically crying and feeling alone. She walked her dog outside but not in my front garden this time, however she stood facing my house and watching me in an intimidating manor. I closed my curtains and ignored her but she clearly has it in for me. I have ordered two ring doorbells and a new bulb for the security light, hopefully that will make her feel exposed and uncomfortable.

OP posts: