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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you have a moody/stroppy partner/husband?

101 replies

Friedbanana · 01/01/2022 18:39

Just that! I know mine is, and know that is it common from friends and family, so interested to see how common it is here!

OP posts:
HikingforScenery · 01/01/2022 23:39

I’m the moody one but we all know when the moods will set in because…. hormones.

justasking111 · 01/01/2022 23:40

An example he put up a new cover picture of himself, an old one. A friend made a jokey remark about it being somewhat out of date, oohhh he was mad and put up an awful picture of them in response.

elelel · 01/01/2022 23:42

@justasking111

An example he put up a new cover picture of himself, an old one. A friend made a jokey remark about it being somewhat out of date, oohhh he was mad and put up an awful picture of them in response.

He sounds rather immature

Pallisers · 01/01/2022 23:45

I don't think there's a single human being out there who can honestly say that they never get moody, stroppy, tense or stressed. They're all normal parts of being human - what matters is how to deal with it, not that you experience those emotions in the first place.

I think it also matters how long you indulge/don't control those emotions once you have them. I think everyone gets a bit moody or stressed or snappy. So, say, if you forget to put the bins out and they are full to overflowing, normal people will probably rant a bit "for fucks sake I forgot the bins, I'm so pissed off, what the fuck" etc. and maybe stomp off for a half hour. but if you don't get over that but spend the rest of the day in a bad temper with your family on eggshells around you -that is different. I think the women complaining on MN generally aren't complaining about an argument or a bad reaction to something but where someone's moods go on and on and become the most important mood in the house, making everyone else tiptoe around them, ruining afternoons out, sulking for days.

BurningTheClocks · 01/01/2022 23:46

No, my dad is like that, and 18 years of living with a moody, stroppy adult who tantrums and shouts was enough to make it an absolute red flag.

RobertaFirmino · 02/01/2022 00:02

Mine was but two things have been a great help:

Firstly, I simply will not tolerate stroppiness. Yes, we can all get irritated every now and then and usually with good reason but unwarranted strops have always been given short shrift. Friends say I have quite a hard-faced accent though (me and DH are from different cities) so perhaps what I think is 'short shrift' actually sounds quite menacing!

Secondly, he's on citalopram!

If he'd refused to listen to me and not asked the GP for help, I'd have left him years ago. Moaning men are perfectly able to change their ways if they can be arsed to try. Do not be fooled by 'It's just the way I am...' and do not make excuses for them. They can change if they want to.

RobertaFirmino · 02/01/2022 00:06

@HikingforScenery

I’m the moody one but we all know when the moods will set in because…. hormones.
Moody women can also change if they want to. I am sick to the back teeth of 'b..b..but hormones' being trotted out as an excuse for female stroppiness. All it does is perpetuate the idea that women are unreasonable beings. You can get help if you can be arsed to, meaning others do not have to bear the brunt.
WeasilyPleased · 02/01/2022 00:30

He's grumpy when he's hungry..hangry is too strong. Point him in the direction of the kitchen and tell him to have a rummage and he's fine.
He's sometimes mock flouncy which is hilarious and he's famous for being a grump at work so maybe gets it all out there. Generally lovely and fun at home.

gofigureit · 02/01/2022 10:07

@emsmar

Used to. Left and found a lovely cheery fun man.
This is my dream
AfterEightMintyCedric · 02/01/2022 12:28

@emsmar

Used to. Left and found a lovely cheery fun man.

How?! Where?!

The phrase needle in a haystack springs to mind!

CounsellorTroi · 02/01/2022 12:34

No, thank goodness. I couldn’t live with a moody man suddenly going all silent and moody for no apparent reason.

StationaryMagpie · 02/01/2022 12:36

i have a moody/angry/stroppy EX partner.

my life is infinitesimally better, calmer, quieter, and less stressful without him stomping around and yelling at everyone all hours of the day and night.

Outwiththenorm · 02/01/2022 14:11

My dad was moody and my (female) best friend at high school was incredibly moody and made my life hell. Fortunately I’ve managed to avoid that in DH as he’s a mostly cheery soul.

GoodnightGrandma · 02/01/2022 14:12

I’m the moody/stroppy one, more so with PMT.
But it’s mostly because he gets on my nerves and I wish he’d go away permanently.

Anordinarymum · 02/01/2022 14:16

No I don't. He doesn't have it in him to be any of those things.

Sometimes he is a little sad hut that is only because of family life I suppose. His mum has dementia and his daughter is a cold fish.

Men who are like this make life intolerable. My ex was an expert in the silent treatment.. thankfully he is now being silent elsewhere !

DustyMaiden · 02/01/2022 14:18

Retirement has cured it. No sleep deprivation or stress. Testosterone definitely reduces with age.

emsmar · 02/01/2022 14:20

[quote AfterEightMintyCedric]@emsmar

Used to. Left and found a lovely cheery fun man.

How?! Where?!

The phrase needle in a haystack springs to mind![/quote]
Younger 😂 6 years. More fun. Was brought up by a lovely strong single mother. He's a good egg.

Goawayangryman · 02/01/2022 14:24

Had one and left him for it. The mood was instantly lighter. I told him bluntly that we had more fun without him because of his bad moods on days out in particular. He did not like that and called me "heartless" and unsympathetic. Unsympathetic to sulking and moods. You bet I bloody well am. Cannot BEAR a sulker. So childish.

Fallible · 02/01/2022 14:33

Yes mine acts like a sulky teenager. I'm aware that I can be a bit of a nightmare at times too though so it balances out.

OhGiveUp · 02/01/2022 14:37

Ugh no. I don't do moody men.

FrangipaniBlue · 02/01/2022 14:41

I swear mine gets PMT once a month instead of me Hmm

lisaandalan · 02/01/2022 23:12

Yes. X

Cupcakeschocolate · 02/01/2022 23:30

Yes, I ignore it now. And carry on. He tends to leave the mood quicker that way. Or I just stay away from him until he snaps out of it. If I stay away I think he realises and goes back to normal quicker. Most of my friends husbands are moody. As where both my grandparents. Not all men though. Just more grumpy than happy. Think their upbringing has something to do with it and age and what was expected of men when growing up.

weegiemum · 02/01/2022 23:46

Mine can be if he's tired - he has sleep apnoea and uses a cpap machine - and he gets hangry too! But if I point it out he goes for a nap or ate something and it's fine.

I'm pretty hormonal atm as I'm definitely in menopause, planning on phoning doctor on Wednesday to ask about hrt as the murderous rages are really bothersome!

UnRavellingFast · 03/01/2022 00:03

I used to…. He’s history for a reason.