DH and I have been having a few issues recently. To put it into context, my parents (I’m from another country) have been staying with us for 2 months; we have 2 DC (9 & 7). We all got Covid before Christmas and I was in bed for 3 days feeling really rough. Plus, my Dad is 87 and has a few health issues so I’ve been really worried about him. DH is a binge drinker and I tend to dread the holidays as I know they’ll be an excuse for him to overindulge.
Cue Christmas Eve and Christmas Day: I’m barely functioning and he’s necking the drink. I let it pass but on Boxing Day, I ask if he could please refrain from drinking until we’ve all recovered. He gets defensive and sulks for most of the day. The following day, we have another chat. We try to work things out; I ask him to please not lie to me about his drinking (or anything else for that matter) as I always catch him out and it’s just not constructive. We make up, things seem a lot better and we’re all finally feeling well for NY’s Eve so we have a lovely meal and enjoy some family time together. We take the kids to bed at around 10:30pm then sit on the sofa and I smell a rat when he’s not drinking.
He says he wants to have a chat and chill and then go to bed. I’m suspicious. Suddenly, our neighbour texts him to (apparently) say he’s alone as his wife and kids are asleep and could he come over for a bit. He pretends to be annoyed and says he just wanted to go to bed but feels bad saying no. I say I’d rather chill out and he assures me that he’ll ask the neighbour to pop in for 20 minutes or so then he’ll come and cuddle me in bed.
Midnight comes and he briefly comes in to give me a kiss, then disappears until 1:30am. I pretend to be asleep. He just rolls over (obviously after a few drinks) and falls asleep.
I couldn’t help myself and checked his phone. There it was: they had planned it all along and he said “I’ll let you know when the coast is clear” (i.e., when I’m in bed so he can come in for their drinking session).
I’m fuming! Not about the drinking (I’d have understood it’s NYE and that) but about his lying, conniving, juvenile ways just as we were trying to work on our problems.
WWYD?