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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What did your DC's school do if you couldn't get your DC to school as you are too unwell?

423 replies

UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 02:32

Just posting here for traffic.

If you are a single parent and have been in a situation that you were still ill to get your DC to school what did school do? I will probably be in this situation next week. This happened once prior to Covid and some of the pastoral care teachers came and picked my DD up. It happened once recently and they suggested she stay at home and do online learning. That was fine as I had twisted my ankle and couldn't put any weight on it but I could help with online learning. However this time I have Covid and will not be able to do online learning with her.

OP posts:
LittleBearPad · 01/01/2022 18:38

[quote UndertheCedartree]@AngelinaFibres - it's annoying noone has to go past my house![/quote]
Have you asked? The class WhatsApp group would surely be the place to do so. You can’t be the only people living where you do to go to this primary school?

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 18:39

@User2638483

Do you have other health problems? Are you vaccinated? It seems a bit strange to assume you will still be in bed in a few days. My experience of covid has been that I have felt unwell but the really ill part was short lived and it was fast moving. Come on positive attitude! Unless there’s lots of info I’m not aware of! I also find the use of ‘bed bound’ a bit jarring as would take this to mean someone who cannot weight bear, requires all care in bed such as continence and washing. But I know what you mean, that you feel ill in bed. Unless as I say there is info about a disability I’m not aware of.
I am vaccinated, I do have other health problems but not anything 'underlying as such'. The really ill bit was not short lived last time it just kept getting worse and has been the same this time. I do have a mobility disability which doesn't help. If I was to try and stand I would just fall over.
OP posts:
OverTheRubicon · 01/01/2022 18:40

As I already said this is part of their work and I'm sure they are expert at managing their day!

With school budgets as they are, I cannot believe that there are regular state primaries anywhere in England with staff who have as part of their work picking up children from covid positive households to take to school, 'pastoral care' or not. Surely either they are very concerned about her/home and so you are getting special treatment (but also apparently unaware), or SS are heavily involved and you haven't mentioned, or it is a private/special school. In any of those cases, what happens in our regular primary schools is not going to be relevant.

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 18:41

@LittleBearPad - there is no class watsapp. Most of the DC live in a different part of town. It is only when we get to a certain bit we see other DC. Lots go to wrap around too.

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OverTheRubicon · 01/01/2022 18:43

Are your children getting young carers support and respite? This all sounds too much for them, and the fact that a 14 year old is having to presumably do cooking (and even toileting for you, if you can't stand up?), while you have the energy for angry mning but not home learning support is worrying.

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 18:45

@OverTheRubicon

As I already said this is part of their work and I'm sure they are expert at managing their day!

With school budgets as they are, I cannot believe that there are regular state primaries anywhere in England with staff who have as part of their work picking up children from covid positive households to take to school, 'pastoral care' or not. Surely either they are very concerned about her/home and so you are getting special treatment (but also apparently unaware), or SS are heavily involved and you haven't mentioned, or it is a private/special school. In any of those cases, what happens in our regular primary schools is not going to be relevant.

I never said anything about Covid. As I said they picked my DD up in Non Covid situations. I am fully aware not everybody needs as much pastoral care and I have said Social services are involved - although not heavily involved atall. Those who understand the situation have replied and given me lots of useful information. It is funny when people reply to tell you noone can help when people have been replying and helping!
OP posts:
Howshouldibehave · 01/01/2022 18:46

is funny when people reply to tell you noone can help when people have been replying and helping!

It would have been useful if you’d mentioned in your OP that you were under social care!

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 18:47

@GrandmasCat

Well… I know a couple that are literally loaded, she is a stay home mum, dad works from home but they have chosen not to have a car. Their teen girl normally took the bus to school a few steps from their house. She twisted an ankle and had to use crutches for a couple of weeks.

Dad pestered the school and the council until they agreed to arrange and pay for a taxi to take her to school and back every day so I suppose is doable.

Wow! Beyond the first day I talk my DD to school on crutches so not so useless as some seem to think! Grin
OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 01/01/2022 18:48

I think given that school have done a pick-up/drop-off for you before, it’s likely they will again. I don’t think the Covid situation will necessarily change this. Unless the reason they asked her to stay home & online learn last time was during Covid.

Lots of other schools this is never offered (or not to most posters knowledge, probably because most posters don’t have experience of children with a family background like yours.) So that’s why you’re getting those replies.

If her father can’t help at all, then all you can do is let school and SS (if you’re still under their remit) know the situation and go from there.

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 18:51

@Howshouldibehave

is funny when people reply to tell you noone can help when people have been replying and helping!

It would have been useful if you’d mentioned in your OP that you were under social care!

Maybe - but all the help hasn't been based on that. It is hard to know what to write and I'm too tired to write everything. It doesn't really matter why someone got the help I just wanted to know if their DC had been picked up since Covid. But I'm probably not writing it properly. I have a banging headache, fever on and off and full on nausea and horrible cough that makes my head want to explode. I hate Covid. My DC are still sleeping
OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 18:52

@Swisscheeseleaves

If i had covid in the house i wouldn't be sending them to school.
At what point would you? You can't just keep them at home indefinitely.
OP posts:
Funnylittlefloozie · 01/01/2022 18:53

I would ask Social Services if they could arrange a taxi for your DD. There is a budget for helping families in need like yours. Do the children go to Young Carer groups - if so, could anyone there help?

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 18:53

@MichelleScarn - GP is aware. But no I shouldn't have said bed bound. I can crawl to the toilet and I can move around in bed so no skin worries.

OP posts:
DemBonesDemBones · 01/01/2022 18:54

This thread has been horrible to read. Grown women ganging up and bullying someone down on their luck. Shameful behaviour, absolutely shameful.

I hope you feel better really soon, op. BrewThanks

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 18:55

@Howshouldibehave

Anyway, the point is school will get involved as soon as they know I'm

If you’re sure of that, there’s no problem then.

ill I just wanted to know what other schools have done since Covid.

I think your case is very particular. What you’re asking if what support schools might offer families who are under social care?

No, I'm asking if DC have been picked up since Covid which many people have answered.
OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 18:57

@Howshouldibehave

Anyway, the point is school will get involved as soon as they know I'm

If you’re sure of that, there’s no problem then.

ill I just wanted to know what other schools have done since Covid.

I think your case is very particular. What you’re asking if what support schools might offer families who are under social care?

There is a problem as to what the solution might be.

No, I'm asking if DC have been picked up since Covid which many people have answered.

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 18:59

@Neurodiversitydoctor

So the oldest is 16+, and presumably Covid negative. College will absolutely understand if he (I think you said DS) is a bit late because his Mum has Covid and he needs to take his younger sister to school. You also mention a breakfast club, perhaps he could drop her to that ? If he walks her the first day or so maybe she could then do it herself ?
The eldest is 14. He has Covid (we all do). He also has ASD and this impacts on him not being able to take DD to school, unfortunately. I wish it wasn't so complicated but it is.
OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 18:59

@Ohmycron

It is your legal obligation to ensure your child attendance so it’s your problem really
Helpful!
OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 19:02

@Sally872

Is there anyone who could help? Someone who walks same way to school? Or a family member?

Hopefully school can help but I imagine there are less staff and more pupils needing this kind of support than previously. Also now most of us have log ins for home learning it is more likely that will be the plan B. If so don't stress about it, get child to do what she can and catch up on the rest when you are up to it.

Yes, I was thinking that too. Thank you. It is helping getting my head round it.
OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 19:03

@5thHelena - I don't know they can collect her - that was the whole point of the question!!

OP posts:
RainbowPrincessPretty · 01/01/2022 19:03

Is your DD year 4 or Year 5?

If Year 5 they may suggest she walk to and from school herself, I know here they let Year 5 do it in the summer term but may make an exception as it's only a few weeks early.

Could the 14 year old walk her part of the way and then her the rest? Even if he's a bit late, his college/school might be a bit more accepting especially if he only misses registeration/tutor time?

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 19:07

@OverTheRubicon

Are your children getting young carers support and respite? This all sounds too much for them, and the fact that a 14 year old is having to presumably do cooking (and even toileting for you, if you can't stand up?), while you have the energy for angry mning but not home learning support is worrying.
I can crawl to the toilet. The 14yo enjoys cooking luckily. But they only just got their appetite back so he has only cooked once since Covid. Will probably do so tonight. I think I'm feeling angry I have bloody Covid again. I couldn't do the home learning when well so no chance when sleeping most of the time. Lots of people are just looking to state the obvious or tell me I shouldn't expect any help rather than actually answer the question, which is annoying. Thank you to the many really useful posters.
OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 19:13

@RainbowPrincessPretty

Is your DD year 4 or Year 5?

If Year 5 they may suggest she walk to and from school herself, I know here they let Year 5 do it in the summer term but may make an exception as it's only a few weeks early.

Could the 14 year old walk her part of the way and then her the rest? Even if he's a bit late, his college/school might be a bit more accepting especially if he only misses registeration/tutor time?

She is Y5. I was actually planning to start building her up to walking alone. Like start by her walking the end 5 min alone. Wish I'd done it last term now!! I know she would be too scared to do it all alone. If I get well enough to walk her half the way it could be a solution. I don't think I will be there by Tuesday, though. Unfortunately, the 14 yo wouldn't be able to walk her. They only have a tutorial one day a week and the other days straight into lessons. But he has ASD and being late to college atall would cause a huge meltdown/unbearable anxiety so it is not an option.
OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 19:14

@DemBonesDemBones

This thread has been horrible to read. Grown women ganging up and bullying someone down on their luck. Shameful behaviour, absolutely shameful.

I hope you feel better really soon, op. BrewThanks

Thank you so much Flowers And I really needed that cuppa! BrewGrin
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lunar1 · 01/01/2022 19:16

If you can't get her to school for a few days, just get her reading while sat on your bed so you can help where needed. Set her up a tt rockstars account and have her watch something she's interested in on bbc bite size or a wildlife documentary. That's more than enough. Any longer than a week and SS need to significantly increase their input with taxis and sorting out young carer support.