Son’s Birth Has Been Immortalised On A Cushion

[WheelieBinPrincess]

Let me preface by saying I love my father in law.

But he’s of the sentimental tat type. Blue ‘I love you’ bears, photo frames and key rings and the like. Forever Friends stuff from the early 90’s. Things in baskets. Ornaments of animals hugging each other for no reason, wearing tutus.

We said no presents this year because I don’t want the tat. But we said it was because we just moved and didn’t want more stuff. He didn’t listen obviously, the baby has about ten ‘baby’s first Christmas’ outfits now. We didn’t even see FIL until Boxing Day.

But the icing on the Christmas cake of tat this year- a cushion he’s had printed, with the biggest picture of me holding the baby about two minutes after he was sliced out of me 😂

And lots of little pictures around the edge of me and the baby looking rough on the ward because it was hotter than the sun and everybody was crying. And one of the baby naked and bewildered getting weighed.

Now, I don’t have much issue of him being in possession of these pictures, DH sent them because he was going nuts asking for updates and crazing the ward to let him visit.

But on a cushion?! It’ll have to go in a cupboard and put on the sofa when he visits because he will ask where it is.

What present did you get that you can’t get rid of but will be hiding away?

Straight into the school raffle pile!

It's the thought that counts

@ShaneTheThird

Oh God love him that's hilariously sweet

Seriously—it is all a mess, but it seems like he really tries. Hopefully these traits manifest in kindness during the rest of the year.

It'll look lovely in your car

My awful SIL gave us an ornament of a lady in a crinoline one christmas. Sorry if you are reading this and like that sort of thing, but I don't and SIL was well aware of this.

Very sadly, the head came off the body when I accidentally tapped it too hard with a hammer when lovingly dusting it.

Sad. Couldn't be repaired.

I have to say, your FIL sounds rather a sweetie. Proud GP's are the tops.

Welcome to my world my friend. If you like we could swap cushions, I have 2 in my wiring cupboard woth very large pictures of my face on.

I also have a sixpence and a walking stick up for grabs.

@WheelieBinPrincess

Oh no honestly he is a very sweet, very doting grandpa- this isn’t even his first one but he has a soft spot because the baby shares his surname and looks like him (bald and smiley)

Oh this is actually so cute!

@OakPine DM taught her daughters the power of the vigorous dust at a young age. A lesson we deploy regularly to excellent effect; some may say clumsy but we have zero unappreciated nick nacks to display oh so proudly

I'm weirdly relieved that the guy in the shop wasn't the only person who took photos from the vag end tbh.

Reading this thread there's at least 2 more of them out there.

@OakPine

My awful SIL gave us an ornament of a lady in a crinoline one christmas. Sorry if you are reading this and like that sort of thing, but I don't and SIL was well aware of this.

Very sadly, the head came off the body when I accidentally tapped it too hard with a hammer when lovingly dusting it.

Sad. Couldn't be repaired.

This made me giggle!

Oh dear! Find a really nice cushion cover to zip over it and then any time he's popping round whip it off to reveal the hideous cushion for his visit. This is if you don't want it taking up cupboard space.

At least he’s put it on a cushion and not on Facebook. is definitely the quote of the day.

I would get a cushion cover for this special cushion, in some shade that matches your sofa, and put it in that to 'protect it'. That means when FIL comes round you haven't got to go frantically hunting in the back of a cupboard, but nor do you have to look at this well-intentioned monstrosity on a daily basis.

Oh gosh. Can it be accidentally shrunk in the wash?

I inherited a very ugly vase from my DGM. I'm waiting until enough time has passed that my parents won't notice and then taking it to the charity shop.

@Puddingypops

Welcome to my world my friend. If you like we could swap cushions, I have 2 in my wiring cupboard woth very large pictures of my face on.

I also have a sixpence and a walking stick up for grabs.

Are you the person who posted about their aunty giving cushions and a calendar and a ton of other stuff all with pics of your face on for xmas or birthday (can't remember which). I remember that thread because it really gave me a giggle.

Can't you use it as decor in the baby's room (ie hide it under the cot), then after a few years redecorate and replace the cushion as it has got dirty?

This is honestly so sweet in an ‘oh god here we go again’ kind of way!

He sounds lovely, and very proud

My dad almost sent “our lovely granddaughter is here!” cards out to the family with my nipple showing Thank fucking god mum clocked it before they were in the post. We do laugh about it now.

Brilliant present Op and a lovely grandad by the sounds of it .
burn it

Wow. That cushion takes some beating.

All I have this year is MIL's present. She likes to get me and DP matching, extremely unflattering, clothes, and this year it's a giant velour 'one size fits an extremely overweight giant all' garment that looks as if a slanket had bred with a bum bag. The fact they are matching makes me feel as if she is basically on a mission to ensure her offspring never engage in sexual contact with a partner again.

(Though I must admit, in the spirit of the thread, that she is being very thoughtful in her own way, and does truly believe we're desperately likely to freeze to death - what with living in The North - so we do need many layers of sexless clothing.)

@WheelieBinPrincess
Your FIL is a prince among men. Rubbish gift-giver, but a prince among men. I bet you love him to bits. (And congratulations on your DC!)

I thought you meant you'd given birth on the cushion and it had been caught in the cross fire of.... stainage.

Oh bless his heart OP, I can see your dilemma and your description of the pictures on the cushion cracked me up laughing.

It's going to have to be lovingly placed on the sofa every time he visits for years to come.

Aww... perfect ammunition for teasing a teenager if you have space to store it for years.

My MIL also goes in for the personalised tat. Due to multiple marriages and divorces (hers) there are 4 grandmother's on the scene. To differentiate herself she initially wanted to be called 'Oma' (no she is not German) but retreated from that idea when she realised there was never going to be a birthday / Christmas card arriving with Oma on it. I do make sure to send her 'Grandma' ones as it makes her happy.

I am also the proud owner of a Christmas tree decoration commemorating the year of DD2's birth stating ' (child's name) First Xmas born year of the Lockdown'.

Oh god, repeat to self it's because he loves us, it's because he loves us. How beautiful to be surrounded by so much love, and how great the temptation to push said cushion down his open throat.