Smoking in pubs, free speech, having a laugh

[Wannalivewithcommonpeople]

Aibu to miss all this? The relaxed, laid back FUN of the 90’s to maybe maybe late 2010
ish?
I don’t smoke or take drugs anymore, hell I haven’t been able to drink in 21 months, due to long covid, but sat here watching 90’s & 2000’s music videos whilst Dh takes toddler out and thinking of the past.
Aibu to just bloody miss the simplicity and fun and to hate these times?

Yes, yes, YES op!!!!!! You've totally summed up how I feel. I'm the same age as you and I feel desperately sad for the younger generations and their lack of freedom. There's been various studies which show they go out less, they don't feel comfortable letting their hair down as they're so worried about photos being put on social media.

The obsession with filters, social media etc. So unhealthy, I'm so glad we didn't have that. MySpace was a while different kettle of fish than todays social media.

Smoking in pubs, FUUUUCK I miss it. Also agree with the poster who described pubs as sterile and joyless. I live in Central London and go to pubs all over the city and they're really not the same as they used to be. Also £3. 50 for a pint!!!!! Bloody hell, I wish!!.

And yes to being worried about offending people. For everyone saying the only freedom of speech banned is offensive things. Erm it's most definitely not. You can't state biological facts atm for fear of losing your job, etc. We actually seem to have forgotten the values of the enlightenment.

The purity spirals that now exist, the cancel culture, it all takes the joy out of life and the nuance! I also have fond memories of heated debates about politics etc and how at the end you were great friends and would have a pint. Now I know people who would stoo talking to you if they found out you were friends with a tory. Its all very depressing.

Oh and one more, everything is so pornified now. I miss the easy friendships I had with boys growing up that so many young girls say they have no experience of. Many young girls have given a blowjob before having their first kiss. And the porn isn't naughty photos or videos where the housewife sleeps with the pizza delivery boy. No, now its super violent, degrading. Young girls are expected to be up for anal, deepthroating. I miss the 90's!!!!!!!

I agree OP I would LOVE to go back to the 90's/ early noughties dancing the night away. Good times. I too am very nostalgic!

That was meant for MistyGreenAndBlue

@CuntAmongstThePigeons

Yes, yes, YES op!!!!!! You've totally summed up how I feel. I'm the same age as you and I feel desperately sad for the younger generations and their lack of freedom. There's been various studies which show they go out less, they don't feel comfortable letting their hair down as they're so worried about photos being put on social media.

The obsession with filters, social media etc. So unhealthy, I'm so glad we didn't have that. MySpace was a while different kettle of fish than todays social media.

Smoking in pubs, FUUUUCK I miss it. Also agree with the poster who described pubs as sterile and joyless. I live in Central London and go to pubs all over the city and they're really not the same as they used to be. Also £3. 50 for a pint!!!!! Bloody hell, I wish!!.

And yes to being worried about offending people. For everyone saying the only freedom of speech banned is offensive things. Erm it's most definitely not. You can't state biological facts atm for fear of losing your job, etc. We actually seem to have forgotten the values of the enlightenment.

The purity spirals that now exist, the cancel culture, it all takes the joy out of life and the nuance! I also have fond memories of heated debates about politics etc and how at the end you were great friends and would have a pint. Now I know people who would stoo talking to you if they found out you were friends with a tory. Its all very depressing.

Oh and one more, everything is so pornified now. I miss the easy friendships I had with boys growing up that so many young girls say they have no experience of. Many young girls have given a blowjob before having their first kiss. And the porn isn't naughty photos or videos where the housewife sleeps with the pizza delivery boy. No, now its super violent, degrading. Young girls are expected to be up for anal, deepthroating. I miss the 90's!!!!!!!

Well said.

There’s some right fun sponges in this thread. I wouldn’t have shared my ‘baccy with you lot on a Scream pub pound-a-pint Tuesday night.

😂

Free speech hasn’t gone anywhere. When people say it has gone, it largely means they want speech free from any consequence.

Even as a smoker I hated smoking in pubs, and hated working in smoky pubs. When the ban came in I loved going outside for a smoke, getting some cool air and usually meeting a whole load of people I’d never have met inside. I’ve had the best conversations with randoms I’ve met outside smoking.

As for having a laugh, that happens here most days.

I know what you mean OP. I was a 90s teen too. I think other posters are right though, what we really miss is the fun of youth and all that future promise it holds.

This current generation of young people will miss their youth culture too once they hit 40 something.

What you know at the time is all you know iyswim.

Yes, this is the other thing. You are not allowed to ever say anything stupid, or that you haven't thought through, now. Both of which are entirely normal human things to do.

What does this mean? Is someone policing the words that come out of your mouth?

What you mean is that you can’t get away with saying something rude or objectionable or hurtful (what you call stupid or something you haven’t thought through properly).

And you think this is a bad thing? You prefer to be able to hurt someone, be rude to or about them, AND get away with this?

Have you ever been on the receiving end of hurtful comments that were stupid or weren’t thought through properly? Called a P* to your face by a bunch of drunk, white lads who laughed at the “joke” while you were serving them their food and drinks? Is that what you want to get away with, still?

I do miss 90s London so much. Pubs had disgusting carpet and dartboards. I loved it all! Wild boar sausages and mash were on every gastropub's menu and it was all the rage and the height of good eating. I was a smoker and even I hated the smell of myself the next morning. My pillow was like an ashtray I collapsed into at night. Gross. But oh it was so much fun. And I'd get up on a Saturday and do it all again! I'd moved to London from New York... where I'd been a gym bunny with a delicate fag a day to stay thin smoking habit. And then my New Zealand flatmate in London was like, "No. We don't go to gyms on Saturdays. What the fuck is that all about? I'm taking you on a pub crawl." Had no idea what that meant. But oh man, did I convert to that church sooo fast it would make your head spin.
Excellent times! Blur vs. Oasis. Massive Attack. Bjork! I was just listening to Venus as Boy last night. Her album Debut was my soundtrack when I came to this country.

I can still remember how my hair and clothes would stink and how tight my chest would be after having been in a smoke filled pub so YABU for that alone.

Does anyone remember blowing your nose the next day and all the black coming out of it? Or is that just me? That would tell you what kind of pub you'd been in all night. Some of them were filled with like a smoke 'fog'. It was crazy, looking back. I do love the ban. I embraced it. I remember coming home some nights and my chest would be aching from all the smoke I'd been breathing in... my own and everyone else's.

Bollocks2Covid

Exactly!! That's the memory! That self-induced Lucky Strike angina!

Every age group thinks their youth was the best thing since sliced bread and all ones after are crap and devoid of the fun they had when I left school and started to go out etc smoking ban was already in place, digital cameras used on nights out and crappy cameras were on phones already and it was the best time ever!

It does seem like a safer time too which I know is rose tinted glasses.
Nobody got tanked up before going out, shots were not a thing, if men were not wearing trousers and dress shoes they would be turned away from a nightclub. Everyone seemed more respectful of each other. No bloody phones to take a pic of you all the time, no obsession over social media and trying to keep up.
I used to love the smell of smoke in a restaurant and pub too. Sorry but I do miss a roast beef lunch with a large glass of Malbec and a cigarette afterwards.

Smoking in pubs was vile. I'm amazed we put up with it for so long. So good to wake up the next morning after a night out and not have stinking hair and clothes after they banned it.

Ewww No thanks OP.

Smoking is a hideous addiction and I’m happy I no long stink of it whenever I go to a bar or restaurant, never mind the ill effects of passive smoking. It should be outlawed for good, it’s a vile disgusting habit and smokers nowadays are in my view just foolish idiots, they also stink too. Badly 🤢

As for the freedom of speech, we have that now, only we’re more respectful as a society so casual racism, bigotry, sexism and homophobia are well and truly in the historical trash can. If you’re a twat and have twatty opinions then you’ll not fit in with wider society, which is a good thing.

The only life I long for now is Pre CovidWorld, those days were simpler when the never ending looming threat of lockdowns or new variants didn’t disrupt our way of life…..

I still don’t really understand this confusion over ‘free speech’. Why do you care so much what random people think? If someone got upset with me being friends with a Tory - who cares?! I wouldn’t be friends with a person so shallow, if it was a random then I couldn’t give a toss what they thought. I can’t think of anything I could say (that I would want to say), that my friends would disown me over. I’m not in the habit of telling random people my opinions (either in the flesh or online), so couldn’t give a fig what they would have to say about it. Stop letting your perceived opinions of what random people think of you take over your life. Even better, stop bothering strangers with your musings (online or in person)!!

@CeleriacOfTheNight

It's called nostalgia, every generation experiences it

I also look back and think 'those were the days'...but then I also remember the casual racism that was absolutely rife and totally accepted. The sexism, and differing expectations for boys and girls etc so it's not always with a rosy glow.

The sexist expectations seem worse than ever today though. At least in the early 00s, it wasn't common for men to try to choke and slap you during sex, nor for teen girls to be pressured to do anal. I don't think things have gotten better in that sense.

@Bonnealle

I still don’t really understand this confusion over ‘free speech’. Why do you care so much what random people think? If someone got upset with me being friends with a Tory - who cares?! I wouldn’t be friends with a person so shallow, if it was a random then I couldn’t give a toss what they thought. I can’t think of anything I could say (that I would want to say), that my friends would disown me over. I’m not in the habit of telling random people my opinions (either in the flesh or online), so couldn’t give a fig what they would have to say about it. Stop letting your perceived opinions of what random people think of you take over your life. Even better, stop bothering strangers with your musings (online or in person)!!

People are losing their jobs and being ostracised over what would have been seen as relatively harmless comments in the past though. It's now seen as acceptable to send death threats to 'problematic' people just because you don't agree with them. See the vile abuse that JK Rowling got. I have colleagues who were going to do some research on the menopause and the workplace but decided not to as it's too 'controversial' these days.

I’m so glad smoking in pubs and restaurants is banned. I don’t smoke and never have and I hated walking into the places where the smoke was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

The “no smoking” section was bollocks because it’s not like the smoke suddenly stopped at that place

I always hated my parents for forcing me to sit in the smoking section too.

@CuntAmongstThePigeons YES!! All of what you said 👏

@TheVanguardSix The music was the best 🙌 it’s what inspired my post today and my nostalgia.

@MyCatIsAFuckwit Great series, I last went to Ibiza 4 years ago and beautiful as the North was, the rest just wasn’t the same as the mid to late 90’s

Free speech hasn’t gone anywhere. When people say it has gone, it largely means they want speech free from any consequence.

Exactly - they mean they want the right to offend other people without any consequences.

They also mean they have no idea what the right to free speech is - as you say, it isn’t the right to say what you like without any consequences.