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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Smoking in pubs, free speech, having a laugh

297 replies

Wannalivewithcommonpeople · 31/12/2021 13:32

Aibu to miss all this? The relaxed, laid back FUN of the 90’s to maybe maybe late 2010
ish?
I don’t smoke or take drugs anymore, hell I haven’t been able to drink in 21 months, due to long covid, but sat here watching 90’s & 2000’s music videos whilst Dh takes toddler out and thinking of the past.
Aibu to just bloody miss the simplicity and fun and to hate these times?

OP posts:
MrsDeaconClaybourne · 31/12/2021 14:40

Of course I love that you can go to the pub and not come home smelling of smoke these days but I know what you mean OP. I was young in the 90s and I think what we miss is the freedom of youth plus the convenience of some bits of the internet without all the pressure of social media. I'm not defending anyone being racist or offensive but it was possible to make a stupid remark and it be forgotten rather than preserved for ever on social media.

I never got set on fire but I did get burned by a cigarette twice in clubs. Once was my own, thrown in the air in a dance move then caught by the wrong end! The second time just bumping into someone. Happy Days.

BusterGonad · 31/12/2021 14:42

You don't need to call someone names for them to find offence.

Bonnealle · 31/12/2021 14:42

I think some of these posters may need to get new friends! If you can’t have a laugh and joke with your mates (pub or anywhere), then it’s not the 2020s fault. My friends always have fun, gently taking the mick out of each other, listening to problems, helping each other out etc. it’s no different from when we’re in the 2000s (apart from the smoking). If you don’t think you can have a joke with your friends now then maybe you’re no longer compatible or your actually just being mean.

ddl1 · 31/12/2021 14:45

Not in my case. Admittedly, I am (a) one of the few people who is healthier in late middle age than in my youth, touch wood for it continuing; (b) the one thing that I have in common with the Queen is that 1992 was my 'annus horribilis' for reasons totally unrelated to the wider culture; (c) as someone with mild invisible disabilities, technology and increasing acceptance of disability have made a huge positive difference to me - though some of it might be just that I'm older and not stereotyped as a young person who ought to be 100% healthy and able-bodied. So I like nowadays a lot better, or at least I do when there isn't a pandemic. But I've always found it unpleasant if people smoked in my face, and I like being able to go to pubs and restaurants without having my enjoyment messed up by all the cigarette smoke. Might have felt different if I'd ever been a smoker, I admit. As regards free speech and censorship, there was at least as much censorship in the 90s as now; it was just of different things. Section 28, anyone?

Omicrone · 31/12/2021 14:45

I'm not defending anyone being racist or offensive but it was possible to make a stupid remark and it be forgotten rather than preserved for ever on social media.

Yes, this is the other thing. You are not allowed to ever say anything stupid, or that you haven't thought through, now. Both of which are entirely normal human things to do.

MyCatIsAFuckwit · 31/12/2021 14:46

@Wannalivewithcommonpeople
I have just binged on "White Lines" on Netflix.
Ah, the nostalgia of Ibiza, the Super Clubs, the absolute freedom of it all....good times.
This was in my "previous life". I'm 44 now, with children. And YES, I would love to have a cheeky weekend like back in the day. 🥳

icedcoffees · 31/12/2021 14:48

@Narutocrazyfox

I'm with you, OP!

I'm not ashamed to say I loved smoking in pubs, popping in on the way home from work and seeing who was about... It didn't matter who was there but someone always was! We'd have a few beers and set the world to rights. I sigh over those carefree days sometimes - things were so much easier then! (for context I was a teen in the late 80s early 90s) x

But what's to stop you popping go the pub on the way home from work now and seeing who's around?

You could still do everything you listed in your post, you'd just need to smoke outside now.

BusterGonad · 31/12/2021 14:48

Also, if I'm remembering rightly, New Year's Eve didn't involve ticket buying for pubs. I'm pretty sure we just went early before it meet capacity. I think that all changed after the millennium, then every bar wanted to cash in.

ufucoffee · 31/12/2021 14:48

I agree OP. I'm older than you and miss other decades before the 90's even more

Omicrone · 31/12/2021 14:49

[quote MyCatIsAFuckwit]@Wannalivewithcommonpeople
I have just binged on "White Lines" on Netflix.
Ah, the nostalgia of Ibiza, the Super Clubs, the absolute freedom of it all....good times.
This was in my "previous life". I'm 44 now, with children. And YES, I would love to have a cheeky weekend like back in the day. 🥳[/quote]
Yeah but to be fair, every single in that show was a complete bellend! 🤣

Omicrone · 31/12/2021 14:49

Every single person that should say!

Tisaxon · 31/12/2021 14:52

@Omicrone

Can you give us an example of what it is you used to say that you don’t feel you can say now? I never have a problem with saying what I feel and can do it without offending people quite effortlessly.

One thing that springs to mind is Malala Yousafzai getting shit on Twitter because it turned out that, having gone to Oxbridge, some of her friends were Shock Tories.

I remember being at uni and there being a big Left/Right split down the middle of our house - it was great and the drunken debates were epic. One of my very lefty friends even went out with a proper Tory boy, and no one banished her for failing the purity test!

Another very obvious example of something that has become heresy now is to say men can't become women - no further comment needed on that one!

But this is on Twitter, something that didn’t exist back in the OP’s smoking, drinking halcyon days.

I’m quite upfront about my position as regards TRA in my real life.

dreamingbohemian · 31/12/2021 14:52

@BusterGonad

You don't need to call someone names for them to find offence.
Okay well I'm still curious for examples of what you could say back then that would be considered offensive now. That isn't racist, sexist, homophobic, etc.
Original poster
Wannalivewithcommonpeople · 31/12/2021 14:53

@Bonnealle Of course I can with my friends, I’m talking about society as a whole

OP posts:
MyCatIsAFuckwit · 31/12/2021 14:54

14:49Omicrone
😂 Yes, they where. It was still freedom to be a bellend though.

bonetiredwithtwins · 31/12/2021 14:54

@icedcoffees

No one seems to go out just for a quick drink these days

The pub I worked in in the early 00s - Friday nights were legendary from 5pm onwards - standing room only - seemed like the entire town was out for a drink after work. You could pop out for one and end Up out out 😂

Now it's table service and food

I think the whole British pub culture in the U.K. is what's changed and perhaps making people feel more nostalgic - not a symptom of covid - i work in pubs and the change started 10 years ago or more. Younger generations just don't drink the way we used to

Narutocrazyfox · 31/12/2021 14:55

@icedcoffees it can't be done anymore. All the pubs I loved serve food now and they're quiet, joyless, sterile places which are designed to cram people in and get them out again as quickly as possible. I wouldn't want to stand out in the freezing cold to smoke (when I was a smoker) and the cost to drink is prohibitive. The type of people I used to love drinking with feel the same and don't frequent these places either!

The 90s was very much a special time and a place for me. There's no comparison now, sadly.

dreamingbohemian · 31/12/2021 14:56

Younger generations just don't drink the way we used to

Personally I think that's a good thing!

I was an insane partier in my youth and survived it but I'd be quite happy for my DC to skip all that

icedcoffees · 31/12/2021 14:58

[quote bonetiredwithtwins]@icedcoffees

No one seems to go out just for a quick drink these days

The pub I worked in in the early 00s - Friday nights were legendary from 5pm onwards - standing room only - seemed like the entire town was out for a drink after work. You could pop out for one and end Up out out 😂

Now it's table service and food

I think the whole British pub culture in the U.K. is what's changed and perhaps making people feel more nostalgic - not a symptom of covid - i work in pubs and the change started 10 years ago or more. Younger generations just don't drink the way we used to
[/quote]
That really doesn't resonate with me at all, I have to say. Maybe it depends on where you live?

There are so many pubs around here where people just pop in after work. I worked in a shop up until two years ago and we frequently popped out for a drink after work. I went out after work a couple of weeks ago and there were quite a few other groups of there too.

There are some that are table service but most of them you go up and order at the bar. Yes, there's food but pubs did food in the nineties too.

ItsLoisSangersFault · 31/12/2021 14:58

@SNUG2022

You're right though. You wouldn't be cancelled for having the 'wrong' thoughts.
Grin WTAF?
Hospedia · 31/12/2021 14:59

Yes, this is the other thing. You are not allowed to ever say anything stupid, or that you haven't thought through, now. Both of which are entirely normal human things to do.

Yes you are Hmm people say or do stupid shit all the time, usually followed at some point by "I realise xxxx was stupid of me". That has not changed.

Bonnealle · 31/12/2021 15:00

@Wannalivewithcommonpeople
I guess I don’t understand then? Why would you want to take the piss out of people who aren’t your friends and don’t know you’re joking? What would you like to say to society that you don’t feel you can now?

Hoppinggreen · 31/12/2021 15:00

I don’t miss people blowing cancer causing drugs all over the place.
I would also say I don’t miss racism, sexism and homophobia but there’s still plenty of that around

Mumdiva99 · 31/12/2021 15:00

younger generations just don't drink the way we used to

They don't have the time and now they have to fit in going to the gym......we didn't do that until the 2000's. Gym culture wasn't really a thing.

Hospedia · 31/12/2021 15:01

You wouldn't be cancelled for having the 'wrong' thoughts

People generally get 'cancelled' for being arseholes usually, plenty of them go on to get uncancelled when they stop bring arseholes.