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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want cards 'from' my child?

60 replies

McNuggetsAndMcFlurries · 30/12/2021 00:11

We were given Mummy and Daddy cards for Christmas from my boyfriends side of the family and it's made me feel uncomfortable. I bought a card to us from my baby and printed his hand and footprints in it as a nice keepsake but I never expected to receive cards from other people written out 'from him'. I want this to be a thing that me and my boyfriend do with my child to each other not something to be faked by others...
What do you think? 🤔

OP posts:
ChristmasRobins · 30/12/2021 00:13

I’m sure it was kindly meant. Not something to be upset about.

OppsUpsSide · 30/12/2021 00:15

I think it’s not a big deal

NeedsCharging · 30/12/2021 00:15

I think you have to much time on your hands.

MirandaWest · 30/12/2021 00:15

I’d find that a bit weird tbh

Xmasiscancelledagain · 30/12/2021 00:16

Nah, that's weird.

DH and I do each other cards from the kids and the kids are of an age now they can pick one out and write it themselves.

Do they think your DP is an incompetent numpty who wouldn't have sent a card otherwise without his well meaning interfering family's input?

WorraLiberty · 30/12/2021 00:17

Meh

You're faking the cards from your kid so why not the rest of the family?

It's not like you're forced to keep them. Just stick them in the recycling with the others.

I think it was a nice thought though.

WorraLiberty · 30/12/2021 00:18

I sent my brother a "Happy Father's Day From The Cats" card this year 🤣

montysma1 · 30/12/2021 00:20

Do you not have much going on in your life?

Original poster
McNuggetsAndMcFlurries · 30/12/2021 00:20

@Xmasiscancelledagain

Nah, that's weird.

DH and I do each other cards from the kids and the kids are of an age now they can pick one out and write it themselves.

Do they think your DP is an incompetent numpty who wouldn't have sent a card otherwise without his well meaning interfering family's input?

Just showed him this and he didn't look too impressed 🤣
OP posts:
RicherThanYew · 30/12/2021 00:21

It's just a sweet gesture Op, they aren't trying to steal your thunder or take away precious "firsts" from you so perhaps it's nicer to let this be and pick your battles.

LtMoose · 30/12/2021 00:22

I'm sorry but that is weird, I probably wouldn't do anything sbout it but it's weird

HeddaGarbled · 30/12/2021 00:23

I bought a card to us from my baby and printed his hand and footprints in it as a nice keepsake

That’s weirder, IMO, but if it makes you happy, that’s fine.

What’s not fine is criticising family for being equally daft, when it was clearly meant kindly.

GTAlogic · 30/12/2021 00:23

I think it's a nice thought tbh and no different from you faking the card from your dc. They'll do this every year in nursery all the way up to y6 too btw so you ought to get used to it.

Fayekrista · 30/12/2021 00:25

It's weird... I would be weirded out.... & trust me I deal with an in law side of the family that cross a lot of boundaries like that!
Personally, I would just bin (recycle) them.
You could say something, but, is the fall out worth it? Probably not. Smile, accept & take pleasure later in ripping it to pieces 🤣

Hotyogahotchoc · 30/12/2021 00:27

I think one parent writing a card to other parent from baby is fine

Anything else is weird

ArblemarzipanTFruitcake · 30/12/2021 00:29

They've tried to do something nice for you. In your shoes I would be chuffed to bits that someone had made the effort, but if it's not your cup of tea, put the cards in your recycling and forget about them.

Flowers500 · 30/12/2021 00:32

They’re trying to be nice, if you don’t like it just move on

Original poster
McNuggetsAndMcFlurries · 30/12/2021 00:32

@GTAlogic

I think it's a nice thought tbh and no different from you faking the card from your dc. They'll do this every year in nursery all the way up to y6 too btw so you ought to get used to it.
It's different though because I didn't write in it and neither do nursery. They wrote it as if he wrote it 🙈
OP posts:
Ohyesiam · 30/12/2021 00:33

It is odd, but to me no more odd than you doing it.
Also I imagine it was a kind gesture and shows how important your baby is to the family.
But overall it’s not a big deal and I can’t imagine they’ll do it again next year.

MajorCarolDanvers · 30/12/2021 00:34

I bought a card to us from my baby and printed his hand and footprints in it as a nice keepsake

That is just as odd.

Why don't you all wait until the child is actually old enough to know what a card is and make it themselves.

Xmasiscancelledagain · 30/12/2021 00:35

Grin You didn't answer the question though! I'm sure your DP is far from incompetent. But his family may think otherwise.

My MIL used to buy my DH cards for him to send to his family as a passive aggressive gesture because he didn't send them Christmas cards one year.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 30/12/2021 00:37

I bought a card to us from my baby and printed his hand and footprints in it as a nice keepsake

That’s weirder, IMO, but if it makes you happy, that’s fine.

Why on earth is that weird? The baby can't yet tell you (or even fully rationalise) how much you mean to them, so why ever not a way of 'signing' that they can do (with a little help)?

And what's all this talk about 'faking' cards from your baby? It's not fakery - just interpreting the love/bond that your baby has with you, but cannot yet put into words.

I would personally expect it to be something that the parents do for each other 'on behalf of' their baby, though - it seems a bit odd for anybody else to do it.

CasparBloomberg · 30/12/2021 00:44

I would see this act very differently, maybe it is them acknowledging you as a new family unit, with new roles and recognising this as a special moment. They obviously know that everyone knows it not from the baby but from them, so maybe look at the message in a different way and you can see the intention they meant, even if clumsily done. I wouldn’t read it as them looking to step on your toes, rather that they were trying to tell you that they now view you differently, as parents to their grandchild, rather than their children.

WorraLiberty · 30/12/2021 00:46

Look, babies cannot buy or send cards to anyone, so it's all friggin odd when you think about it 🤣

But the thought behind it is a nice one, no matter who buys it.

Floralnomad · 30/12/2021 00:48

It was a kind well meaning thought on their behalf . It’s way weirder that you did a card for yourself from your baby .

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