Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Ex DBiL attitude to food - is this acceptable?

94 replies

6079SmithW · 29/12/2021 15:05

Disclaimer: I have posted about this before (when I thought it was a one off) but now it has happened again I don't know if I should do something?

ExDH took DC to DBiL for Christmas. We have two DD primary school age but think upper years. When the girls got back they told me this happened (I asked ExDH and he confirmed it).

I bought all the Christmas presents, and included in the girls' stockings a box each of trashy American breakfast cereal that they always ask for but are never allowed to eat usually. When the girls opened them DBiL wrote 'BAD' and 'Unhealthy' on the boxes and lectured them about the amount of sugar etc.

DBiL has form for this kind of behaviour. On a previous visit he made them do star jumps before they were allowed a piece of birthday cake. He only seems to do it where the girls are concerned (he didn't make the adults do star jumps or go around writing 'bad' on the adults chocolates or booze for example).

ExDH seems to think his brother's behaviour is totally acceptable and refuses to do anything about it. AIBU to worry that this is fat shaming and could lead to body issues/eating disorders?

FWIW I am overweight so I believe that's why DBiL behaves like this, but having struggled with weight my entire life, no one wants the girls to not become overweight more than me.

OP posts:

CharityDingle · 30/12/2021 09:10

The star jumps for cake, that would give me the heebie jeebies, tbh. They are children, not performing seals.

ExH needs to cop the hell on, and put a stop to that kind of nonsense when in the company of his brother.

Catflapkitkat · 30/12/2021 12:24

I'd be tempted to give the girls permanent markers to write KNOBHEAD over his bathroom toiletries .......

SheikhMaraca · 30/12/2021 13:45

@BoredZelda

but we need to bear in mind that we are on track to have pretty much the whole population either overweight or obese in the near future.

Where do the stats come from for this?

JFGI

SheikhMaraca · 30/12/2021 13:47

@BoredZelda

I don't agree that it's fat-shaming and unacceptable to point out that junk food is junk food.

On a kids Christmas present? How is the view up there from that high horse?

We do our DC a huge disservice by failing to educate them on the importance of a balanced diet.

There’s no ‘high horse’ about it, it’s just basic parenting.

PleasantBirthday · 30/12/2021 14:13

How does getting prepubescent girls to do jumping jacks for their uncle fit into this?

Emerald5hamrock · 30/12/2021 14:16

He is a weird person.

foxgoosefinch · 30/12/2021 14:24

The cereal thing is fucking rude. Someone should draw all over his presents with “waste of time” on his tech and “unhealthy” on his booze. Fuck him! And yes tell your girls he’s mental and has issues and to laugh at him when he tries this shit on. It’s not acceptable.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 30/12/2021 14:26

How does getting prepubescent girls to do jumping jacks for their uncle fit into this?

Reminds me of Father Jack helping out with the girls' PE lesson - and stressing to the girls that it's a warm day, so they absolutely won't need to wear a thick layer over their tight PE shirts

SheikhMaraca · 30/12/2021 14:34

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

How does getting prepubescent girls to do jumping jacks for their uncle fit into this?

Reminds me of Father Jack helping out with the girls' PE lesson - and stressing to the girls that it's a warm day, so they absolutely won't need to wear a thick layer over their tight PE shirts

Are you seriously accusing this man of having an unhealthy sexual interest in children?

You need to rethink this comment and consider having HQ remove it.

PleasantBirthday · 30/12/2021 14:49

Are you seriously accusing this man of having an unhealthy sexual interest in children?

Yep. He's taking too close an interest in their appearance and using that to get them to do things he finds titillating. If he's not a pervert, he needs to stop doing things that a pervert would do. And his brother needs to tell him to wise up and mind his behaviour.

Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 30/12/2021 15:12

Next time they're around him supply them with a pack of post its so they can write 'wanker' and stick it to his forehead.

Lollypop701 · 30/12/2021 15:25

So you bought ex dh Christmas gifts to girls to make his life easier… as they say no good deed goes unpunished. Ex dh punishment is that next year the lazy fecker can sort his own gifts out and his family can judge him. Meanwhile kids can have their cereal at your house. Perfect!

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 30/12/2021 21:51

Are you seriously accusing this man of having an unhealthy sexual interest in children?

You need to rethink this comment and consider having HQ remove it.

I have accused this man of nothing. All I am saying is that this particular behaviour could very easily be interpreted as that of somebody acting highly inappropriately - and assuming that this man's interests are purely in observing his nieces getting healthy exercise, he might want to have a think about how it could otherwise look.

CharityDingle · 30/12/2021 21:59

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

Are you seriously accusing this man of having an unhealthy sexual interest in children?

You need to rethink this comment and consider having HQ remove it.

Exactly.

CactusLemonSpice · 30/12/2021 22:36

@Iloveacurry

Next time your kids go there, and if he does that again, tell them to write ‘bad’ and ‘alcoholic’ on the wine bottle labels. Only joking of course. Not.

appleturnovers · 31/12/2021 10:39

@SheikhMaraca We do our DC a huge disservice by failing to educate them on the importance of a balanced diet. There’s no ‘high horse’ about it, it’s just basic parenting.

You seem to have missed the "balanced" part of balanced diet. A sugary cereal as a treat once a year at Christmas is hardly going to make the children obese, is it, fgs.

Dottydozet · 31/12/2021 10:41

Christ I would stop contact altogether. This is disgusting behaviour.

GingerScallop · 31/12/2021 13:29

@Funnylittlefloozie

I would just tell your girls that Uncle Foodissues is a bit bonkers in the brain, and while they do have to be polite to him, they don't have to take anything he says seriously.

may be you should all start calling him, in his face, uncle foodbully or uncle foodissues. Sadly without support of exh not much you can do. other than keep communications open with your children. Sorry OP

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 31/12/2021 13:48

You seem to have missed the "balanced" part of balanced diet. A sugary cereal as a treat once a year at Christmas is hardly going to make the children obese, is it, fgs.

This entirely.

Plus, basic parenting is not something you do with somebody else's children. If you see them being abused or neglected, it is of course your duty to step in; but a rare treat food - that one of their parents has actually given to them - is none of your business at all.

Flip

1 2 3 4