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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Getting annoyed at virtue signalling on Facebook local groups

491 replies

Floogal · 28/12/2021 23:13

Ignoring the fussing questions everytime a police helicopter is on patrol or fireworks. Where I live it's usually the same thing. Always along the lines of;

" I've got a lot of old tat but want to donate it to charity"
" I brought the homeless guy on the high street a coffee and had a chat with him"
And, this " how many homeless people are there in town? My (photogenic well dressed) twin daughters want to give out Xmas packages" obviously hoping to appear on the local news or "and finally...' on ITV news. Usually the 'ooooh aren't you wonderful' gushing replies. Gives me the raging arsehole.

OP posts:
FreedomFaith · 29/12/2021 09:43

I just hate the ones who immediately jump on fb whenever they see an ambulance. Ooh what's happening, does anyone know? Hmm They are the halfwits who slow down to almost a stop or actually do stop at an accident to get a good look. What do they expect to be told, yes there's an accident, go up to x to get a good video and photos of it? Hmm

The rest like showing themselves doing 'good deeds' etc are just proving how low their iq is. Feel sorry for them rather than anger.

Christmas2022MustBeTheBest · 29/12/2021 09:43

Gives me the raging arsehole.
This sounds bloody painful OP, I’m sure your local pharmacy can help you find some ointment for that.

Sorry about that…..
FWIW IMO YANBU Re: Virtue signalling on Facebook groups.

CharityDingle · 29/12/2021 09:44

@Duckerbizzle

We have a local page which seems a good idea in theory, basically people advertise items for free to help out people in need. Anyway you do get a lot of people just trying to get others to come and take away their junk but some do offer some quite valuable (ish) clothing etc that they no longer use. Anyway there's one woman who comments on every post with something half decent saying "Yes please" - she obviously spends loads of time on the page checking it etc, but the items she supposedly needs are always so random, for example one day she snapped up a load of size 20 clothing, then the next day she wanted some designer size 8 stuff, then some teenagers clothing, then some brand new with tags baby outfits etc. It is so obvious she is collecting it all to sell on ebay or whatever! She can't possibly be both a size 8 and a size 20. Plus I know she doesn't have all these supposed children of all different ages either because her main profile is totally public! Anyway it is so annoying to watch, as a lot of the people on the page think they are genuinely giving pretty decent stuff away to those in actual need!
Someone like that got caught out on a local Facebook page. She was removed, but not before she had racked up plenty. A lot of it brand new, and unworn. She must have had the page constantly open.

Tried to claim she was sending them abroad, when challenged.
I'm sure she was...for a fine fee!

hangrylady · 29/12/2021 09:44

@CrapDrawer

I get annoyed by similar posts and also posts where someone has found a phone/ bank card/ jewellery and posts on FB to find the owner. What if they’re not on FB. Really annoys me. Take to local police station or send bank card to the bank! Always seems to be someone wanting a bit of glory for doing a good deed but not thinking of the best way to actually get an item back to its owner.
To be honest local Facebook groups are great for this. Lost pets, phones etc. I found some keys in the street and posted in my village group and the owner was located in about 10 minutes!
CharityDingle · 29/12/2021 09:48

@Georgeskitchen

* parked car, not cat 😑 😒
Grin I love the idea of a parked cat though!
Nocutenamesleft · 29/12/2021 09:48

Ha. I’ve worked with the homeless voluntarily for over 20 years.

I totally understand this. I’m not on facebook so I don’t see it. But we see lots of people doing this. Which at the end of the day. Is good for the guys in the street. So I just think of that. Sadly they only do it once for clout. But hey.

Crazykatie · 29/12/2021 09:50

Dont do FB these days there are just too many nutters that I really don’t want to know about. Blissful ignorance!.

Offmyfence · 29/12/2021 09:51

This has prompted me to have a look at the next door app. Oh dear!!

Lairymary · 29/12/2021 09:52

We also have the argument every so often along the lines of...
"Oh the village is looking so lovely at the moment, thank you to the parish council maintenance team for working so hard"
"It's not a village, it's an estate"
Pile on 100 people with their opinion.
(It's a 20 year old housing estate tacked on to the edge of a market town with a lot of snobby people living in it)
Don't get them started on the "troubled kids home" that has been allowed to operate from one of the houses.

flipflop76 · 29/12/2021 09:54

@CoffeeRunner

May I also add the "I haven't sent Christmas cards this year, I have donated the money to the local foodbank/cat rescue etc".

a) why tell anyone? Cards are not obligatory.
b) it's possible to send cards & also give to charity.

Omg yes this!!! It does my head in. I write cards and also donate but don't tell anyone.

TerraNovaTwo · 29/12/2021 09:55

“I want to donate a Christmas lunch to someone in need”

Do it then. Go to a homeless shelter/nearest city where you will see scores of homeless people at ANY time of the year. Call refuge. They need donations throughout the year.

I have done many good deeds for the vulnerable but I don't feel the need to update my status, post it any where on SM and take photos of it for all to see . Virtue signalling is evil.

Enzbear · 29/12/2021 09:55

It's very irritating. Picture of woman with swishy hair, full make up (and filters) and ever so tight vest top wearing a Santa hat and holding a Christmas cracker. "We have so much food" "Does anyone want a free Christmas lunch?"
Followed by a million replies
"You're an angel Hun"
"So kind"
It's attention seeking.

Exhausteddog · 29/12/2021 09:57

I just hate the ones who immediately jump on fb whenever they see an ambulance. Ooh what's happening, does anyone know?They are the halfwits who slow down to almost a stop or actually do stop at an accident to get a good look. What do they expect to be told, yes there's an accident, go up to x to get a good video and photos of it?

We have this as well. With the obligatory "hope everyone's ok" translated as I'm so nosey does anyone know what's happened or who it is
Bonus points if the air ambulance arrives. Well duh unfortunately if someone requires an air ambulance that would indicate they are very much not ok.

IcedAbstinente · 29/12/2021 09:58

We had loads of 'reverse advent calendars' before christmas. Seriously, just do it if you want.

The one that upset me recently was when a woman posted on the local page (about 1500 members) about getting help for her 14 year old daughter and then detailed in minutae everything that was going on with her DD's mental health. Down to her fear of periods and brushing her teeth. Um- ask for names of professionals sure, but don;t give out all the info as to why. Do people think fb is anonymous or do they just not care?

JuergenSchwarzwald · 29/12/2021 10:03

@middleager

Another trend is "I hope the parents of the teenagers doing wheelies in the town are proud of your sons today"

Or "Can the parents of the youths hanging around town at 1pm today teach them some manners?"

Oh yes because parents can control their kids all the time. Mind you, that seems to be the general sentiment on Mumnet too, if your teenager does something bad/inconsiderate/mildly annoying, it's down to your awful "parenting". Teens don't have free will at all.

The thing that makes me laugh is when people write "to the person in the red car who nearly ran me down"...because everyone is in the FB group and if they are they will admit it! That said, once someone had a go at a woman with a pushchair who had the temerity to use a zebra crossing and the woman in the pushchair actually was in the group and did respond Grin

prudencepuffin · 29/12/2021 10:03

Bloody annoying people who feed other peoples "furbabies" (clue - they are cats!), and boast about it. Cats in question often seem to be well fed with collars!

JuergenSchwarzwald · 29/12/2021 10:04

The ones that annoy me is when people post they've had so much Christmas chocolate/so many Easter eggs and can they give them away to someone less fortunate.

Nobody says you have to eat them all at once. Put them away and eat them gradually over the next few weeks/months. Or do you have no willpower?

MrsFizziwig · 29/12/2021 10:08

If a good deed isn’t posted on Facebook did it really happen?

Love this @CodenameEgg! Grin

endofbluenight · 29/12/2021 10:10

@CrapDrawer

I get annoyed by similar posts and also posts where someone has found a phone/ bank card/ jewellery and posts on FB to find the owner. What if they’re not on FB. Really annoys me. Take to local police station or send bank card to the bank! Always seems to be someone wanting a bit of glory for doing a good deed but not thinking of the best way to actually get an item back to its owner.
Its actually a really good way to get things back. I got my lost mobile phone back this way.

Surely its better than wasting police time if you can go through the community first to get the item back to its owner.

endofbluenight · 29/12/2021 10:15

@Xmasgetaway

Yes and the ‘I have XYZ things to give away. Contact me if you are needy’. Ffs………
What's wrong with this? Its great that people are giving away stuff they don't need like this. Got a fantastic guitar for my son this way.

How is this not a good thing?

Confused
CounsellorTroi · 29/12/2021 10:21

@anon12345678901

I hate this. In our group I went mental on them once. A friend of mine took his own life at home, and was found by friends. Obviously police and ambulance come out and the friends were then asked to stand outside. Cue the group taking pictures of the emergency vehicles along with a question of 'what's going on? There's people outside crying, I hope no one's hurt'. Who the fuck asks these sort of questions?! And for gods sake whose that thick to think with the emergency services and people crying, it's going to be happy news.
This is just virtual rubbernecking isn’t it. Disgusting.
cobblers123 · 29/12/2021 10:22

I've just looked at my local FB page and it's actually looking boringly normal at the moment, no lost cats, no feral kids kicking doors or damaging cars, no huns or babes giving out meals or gifts to the needy.

I'm disappointed, the usual loons seem to be having a break ,,, Grin

Benjispruce5 · 29/12/2021 10:24

Ooh I don’t miss Facebook.

LittleBearPad · 29/12/2021 10:27

Xmasgetaway
Yes and the ‘I have XYZ things to give away. Contact me if you are needy’.
Ffs………

What's wrong with this? Its great that people are giving away stuff they don't need like this. Got a fantastic guitar for my son this way.

How is this not a good thing?

Why do the recipient have to be needy? It’s pointless virtue signalling. Why can’t the original poster just say “I have this stuff, let me know if you’d like it.”

ellie21 · 29/12/2021 10:31

Last year we had a Facebook group who called themselved the Covid Angels or such like. They basically bought all the bread/yeast/toilet roll/fresh food from every supermarket and stored it in their garage to donate to the needy.
Except it meant that the genuine needy then struggled to get any of this from the local shops as it was all in someone's garage going off.