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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just discovered we live next door to a hoarder - What to do?

308 replies

FaLaLaLaLaaaar · 28/12/2021 22:08

This post makes me sound like a pearl-clutching nosey neighbour, but I honestly don’t know what to do!

We recently moved into a new semi-detached home. Our neighbours to the right (not the one we are attached to) have always been quite pleasant and friendly. They’re a couple in their mid fifties and we often see him going to work, but she stays home.

They always keep their curtains closed, so their house always looks dark and you’d never know they were home.

Whilst popping out to the car earlier, I noticed their living room curtains were open (they don’t have any nets) and a light bulb was on, so I could see straight in. I WAS SO SHOCKED! Their entire living room is piled high to the light bulb with boxes and magazines! Every single space was full and some had fallen down. I am guessing their cat must have pulled the curtains down as god know how they would’ve got to them to open them!

DH said when he was trimming our trees he saw in from the garden and their dining room and kitchen appear to be in similar conditions. I’m assuming this means every room in their house must be like this too.

What should we do? I don’t want to get them in any trouble, but this is a massive fire hazard and although we are not attached to them, I do worry about the amount of flammable materials in there.

So do we just ignore this and do nothing?

Or should we call the fire brigade or something?

OP posts:
RoyalFamilyFan · 29/12/2021 21:17

And the police have been inside my hoarder friends house when she was a victim of crime. They did not make a referral.

Offmyfence · 29/12/2021 21:20

*But there is nothing anyone can do. My aunt was a hoarder. She was also a highly respected scientist with an OBE.

If the fire service had turned up at her house because a 'concerned' neighbour had reported her, she would have told them to piss off. And that would have been that.

Hoarding is a mental illness. It doesn't get cured with a visit from a couple of firefighters.*

💯

Offmyfence · 29/12/2021 21:20

[quote dittheringdoldrums]@Offmyfence but we have no idea if the wife is vulnerable or not. She may be absolutely fine, she may have really significant mental health issues. The husband going out to work each days tells us nothing about the state of his wife's health. We know nothing about them at all.

Worse case scenario - husband is the hoarder, wife is mentally vulnerable and cannot escape the situation that he has placed them in. As I said, worse case scenario, but at the same time entirely possible.

As members of society we need to be better at picking up signs of where there are possible concerns and learn what to do when we see them. As someone has already said, there were countless threads on here after the horrific death of little Arthur about people just not doing enough. People don't suddenly stop being vulnerable once they are older. It can happen at any time in life. [/quote]
Have you tried to access mental health treatment for a vulnerable relative?

dittheringdoldrums · 29/12/2021 21:21

@Offmyfence i haven't tried to access it, I am one of the HPC's that provide it.

Offmyfence · 29/12/2021 21:25

[quote dittheringdoldrums]@Offmyfence i haven't tried to access it, I am one of the HPC's that provide it. [/quote]
Well
I tried to access it for my brother... shambolic and he died!

I'm
In the middle of making a complaint.

RoyalFamilyFan · 29/12/2021 21:28

Are you a CPN?

daytriptovulcan · 29/12/2021 21:42

Well hoarding is perfectly legal. You do nothing. If you re feeling generous you could give them vouchers for councelling.

SammyScrounge · 29/12/2021 22:36

You're lucky you haven't spotted rats.

Coulddowithanap · 29/12/2021 22:40

@Politics4me

Fire risk: this is very low a stack of magazines will not burn very quickly, oxygen will not get in among the pages. So if there is a fire it will be slow, the fire service will need little more than a couple of extinguishers.

Hoarding: There is little you can do, it becomes totally obsessive and if you were to help them they would give you a hard time by making 'rules' and conditions about what could go.
Don't try. I did with a friend who became so unreasonable, I lost contact.
Just keep on being friendly and talking about every other topic. Invite them round see if she will be friendly and you can do things together.

You really have no idea do you? A couple of extinguishers to put out a fire in a hoarders house? Try telling that to the many hoarders houses that have been lost to fire.

Escape routes would be easily blocked, people may not get out and are unable to be saved.

Other than the fact it could be quite difficult to find the seat of the fire in massive stacks of paper, firefighters will also be wearing breathing apparatus so that adds to the difficulty of getting around inside the property, and that's if its safe enough to enter the building.

It's a good idea to contact the fire service. They can do a safe and well visit and won't say the neighbour phoned about them.
As someone mentioned earlier, the fire service keep a record of hoarders houses and if there is a fire then more appliances will be sent as it has the potential to be a much bigger job than the average house fire.

RoyalFamilyFan · 29/12/2021 22:45

@SammyScrounge

You're lucky you haven't spotted rats.
Why would there be rats?
myrtleWilson · 29/12/2021 23:33

Not one of us who have had professional experience of such MA working around hoarders are naive enough to think a magic wand will be made. But as a system we have learnt we don't join enough dots/link data up to tell the whole story - this includes MH conditions like hoarding.

If nothing else, speaking to the FB could lead to a marker being put on their property so that the FB are better informed as to what they may encounter in the event of a fire - it could save the neighbours lives and give added protection to the firefighters. More optimistically (and I know the limitations on this before anyone pipes up) there is evidence of hoarders being supported better through multi agency working and this could also apply to this couple if not now, then in the future.

hollielouise66 · 29/12/2021 23:33

My neighbour is just like this. It would never occur to me in a million years to do anything!

toomuchlaundry · 30/12/2021 00:09

@RoyalFamilyFan many hoarders hoard food. Piles of rubbish may make a nice cosy home for vermin. If the rubbish is piled high and you can’t get into the rooms, you won’t see the rats making their home there

RoyalFamilyFan · 30/12/2021 00:13

@toomuchlaundry the extreme hoarders hoard food. I know 3 hoarders, none hoard food.

dittheringdoldrums · 30/12/2021 00:41

@Offmyfence I'm truly sorry to hear about your brother and absolutely you should complain so you can get some answers and hopefully some peace, and so lessons can be learned.

@RoyalFamilyFan no I'm an OT

dittheringdoldrums · 30/12/2021 00:44

@myrtleWilson

Not one of us who have had professional experience of such MA working around hoarders are naive enough to think a magic wand will be made. But as a system we have learnt we don't join enough dots/link data up to tell the whole story - this includes MH conditions like hoarding.

If nothing else, speaking to the FB could lead to a marker being put on their property so that the FB are better informed as to what they may encounter in the event of a fire - it could save the neighbours lives and give added protection to the firefighters. More optimistically (and I know the limitations on this before anyone pipes up) there is evidence of hoarders being supported better through multi agency working and this could also apply to this couple if not now, then in the future.

You've put it beautifully, thanks!
Frazzled50yrold · 30/12/2021 01:02

Check with your local police service if they have a vulnerability hub/ interagency vulnerability forum. It's a means by which the emergency services make themselves aware of vulnerable people and as a previous poster said would create awareness of the home situation should a fire arise.

Momijin · 30/12/2021 01:10

My friend's father is like this. He lives in a big 6 bedroom house on his own and it is full to the brim and dirty so his children have to stay in a hotel when they visit him. He is a very intelligent award winning scientist. He hasn't got dementia or anything but since her mum died, the state of the house has gotten steadily worse. He doesn't wash very often either.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 30/12/2021 01:13

It's not your house and none of your business.

ilovesooty · 30/12/2021 04:47

@daytriptovulcan

Well hoarding is perfectly legal. You do nothing. If you re feeling generous you could give them vouchers for councelling.
Vouchers? Are you serious?
rocky1914 · 30/12/2021 04:58

@JayAlfredPrufrock trust me, not that much different, if not worse, in regards to fire hazards, etc.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 30/12/2021 17:33

@GreenFingersWouldBeHandy - if you lived next door to a hoarder, and did nothing, because it was none of your business - and someone was seriously injured or killed because of the hoard (the hoarder the self, a partner, a neighbour or someone from the emergency services), would you feel happy that you’d made the right decision to do nothing?

I would feel guilty - I would find it hard not to believe that, by my inaction, I had contributed to the bad outcome.

TakeItOrFuckingLeaveIt · 30/12/2021 17:56

Glad you are raising concerns. A house near us had people who were hoarders. It caught fire and spread really quickly. It totally destroyed the semi next to it
It's not just their lives they are risking, it's the whole family living next door, photos, toys, clothes everything was lost
You are not overreacting, it would concern me too

Zwellers · 30/12/2021 17:57

Op, SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius and others, I don't understand why you would feel guilty if anything happened, as these people and how they choose to live are literally nothing to do with you. Why do you have to involve yourself and feel guilt for the actions of complete strangers?

BoodleBug51 · 30/12/2021 18:19

As someone had a hoarder as a client when working as a home carer, if they fall (and they're very likely to with a hoard) it's an absolute nightmare trying to get help into them.

It's essential to inform the FB so that the property is on the emergency services radar. You can't stop someone hoarding but knowing that an ambulance crew if called is going to need assistance to enter the property could well save a life.