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AIBU?

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Original poster

Just discovered we live next door to a hoarder - What to do?

308 replies

FaLaLaLaLaaaar · 28/12/2021 22:08

This post makes me sound like a pearl-clutching nosey neighbour, but I honestly don’t know what to do!

We recently moved into a new semi-detached home. Our neighbours to the right (not the one we are attached to) have always been quite pleasant and friendly. They’re a couple in their mid fifties and we often see him going to work, but she stays home.

They always keep their curtains closed, so their house always looks dark and you’d never know they were home.

Whilst popping out to the car earlier, I noticed their living room curtains were open (they don’t have any nets) and a light bulb was on, so I could see straight in. I WAS SO SHOCKED! Their entire living room is piled high to the light bulb with boxes and magazines! Every single space was full and some had fallen down. I am guessing their cat must have pulled the curtains down as god know how they would’ve got to them to open them!

DH said when he was trimming our trees he saw in from the garden and their dining room and kitchen appear to be in similar conditions. I’m assuming this means every room in their house must be like this too.

What should we do? I don’t want to get them in any trouble, but this is a massive fire hazard and although we are not attached to them, I do worry about the amount of flammable materials in there.

So do we just ignore this and do nothing?

Or should we call the fire brigade or something?

OP posts:
Unreasonabubble · 29/12/2021 01:21

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toomuchlaundry · 29/12/2021 01:22

@RoyalFamilyFan adults can be vulnerable too, have safeguarding/welfare concerns.

mjkrta · 29/12/2021 01:30

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Italiangreyhound · 29/12/2021 01:39

This may not be of use to the OP but it may be of use to any who have this issue or who have relatives who suffer with this.

www.ukhouseclearance.com/ukhouseclearance-compulsive-hoarding.htm

HemanOrSheRa · 29/12/2021 01:48

@MobyDicksTinyCanoe

Italian, he had no water, or cooking facilities. He was living in darkness. We knew he had an issue with water and we'd tried to help a few years previously, he'd promised he'd got it fixed but had lied. So had no toilet. He used to shower at his brothers once a week and somehow managed to stay clean and tidy.

Hoarding is such a devestating condition that can put others at risk too. People who know about it should step in, even if it's just making a call to the fire brigade and ss....... In my uncles case it was 60 grand and an 8 week house renovation 😳

Absolutely. I don't think some people commenting on this thread know what true hoarding looks like. It is a devastating condition. Absolutely heartbreaking in so many ways. In 30 years of working in the community I have never met a hoarder who doesn't want some help and support. Be that practical or emotional or a combination of both.
mjkrta · 29/12/2021 02:13

well i speak from experience as my mum is a hoarder and can also confirm it has never effected me mentally or socially,but what has is judgemental gossiping neighbours!,i think its sad that this is even a topic of conversation,or am i missing the point?,help should come if and when needed by themselves or loved ones,not a new neighbour who has a nosey!,,,,,,was it even a cat?!

Nickmoooooo · 29/12/2021 02:18

Everything seems to be a mental illness nowadays. Ask neighbors what they think.

ilovesooty · 29/12/2021 02:39

@Nickmoooooo

Everything seems to be a mental illness nowadays. Ask neighbors what they think.
Hoarding disorder is a designated mental illness. Your post seems to imply it isn't.
mjkrta · 29/12/2021 03:10

wow,i cannot believe what i am reading,this woman who posted this has said she has just moved in.has had a nosey and judged what she has seen.her neighbour could off been decorating and mved eveything to te frount..a collector.a buisness from home low on storage! why are people so quick to judge and then put it down to mental health??!!the only person who has anything to judge by is this woman who posted this,discusting!

PhilCornwall1 · 29/12/2021 03:14

Nothing you can do. People next door to my parents are like this. The place is an absolute shit pit.

it's nobody's business how others live their lives.

Ericaequites · 29/12/2021 03:40

Please leave other people alone. Just because a house is not tidy to your standards does not mean it’s a hoarded house where animal abuse takes place. Offering to help or sending officials around may just make people feel worse.

CheshireKitten123 · 29/12/2021 09:41

OP, I am very surprised that you didn't notice this when you went to view the house you bought?

Occasionally I have had to visit peoples homes as part of my job and I can tell you that one look at the outside of the house will tell you what it's like inside.

Curtains that don't fit, hanging down, closed all day; filthy windows; rendering cracking; gutters leaking; weeds in crack between front wall and pavement; paint peeling off, tiles laminating or loose; gutters full of weeds/overflowing when it rains; gardens unkempt/full of rubbish; pointing dropping out: Xmas tree still up in May - just a general air of neglect.

Usually there is a bad smell as you get close.......Shock

KittenCatcher · 29/12/2021 09:53

If the fire brigade were in the area offering advice on smoke alarms, detectrors, extinguishers then maybe they could see if neighbour is ok or needs any help if they are hoarding. Whatever happens they wont get into trouble for anything.

Scrabblecrabapple · 29/12/2021 10:05

All the keep your beak out posts are shocking. She NEVER leaves the house and is holding. There are serious mental issues going on. She is a vulnerable adult. Social services should be called.

ivykaty44 · 29/12/2021 10:18

Ffs. Some people really have no idea.

The Care Act 2014 recognises hoarding as one of the manifestations of self-neglect and requires all public bodies to safeguard people at risk. You need to make a safe guarding reflection. This will prompt a multi agency approach including fire service trying to conduct a home safety risk assessment. This will highlight any concerns both to the occupants and the fire fighters that may attend.

Social services will look at if there is any self neglect and offer advice and assistance as necessary. If they have capacity they can refuse this of course.

this^

the couple could need help in some format

the firebrigade could fit fire alarms, they do this for free and could obviously be an early alarm if there was a fire

dittheringdoldrums · 29/12/2021 10:24

@Nickmoooooo

Everything seems to be a mental illness nowadays. Ask neighbors what they think.
Are you saying that hoarding isn't a mental health issue?
wiltonian · 29/12/2021 10:24

You might find this book some help - her mother was a hoarder and there is a lot of info as well as her own story- www.amazon.co.uk/Life-Stuff-memoir-about-behind/dp/0857525409/ref=nodl_?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

dittheringdoldrums · 29/12/2021 10:27

@mjkrta

wow,i cannot believe what i am reading,this woman who posted this has said she has just moved in.has had a nosey and judged what she has seen.her neighbour could off been decorating and mved eveything to te frount..a collector.a buisness from home low on storage! why are people so quick to judge and then put it down to mental health??!!the only person who has anything to judge by is this woman who posted this,discusting!
The house is always dark, she never leaves the house, and now the OP and her DH have seen that each room appears to be piled high with stuff which strongly implies that they are hoarders. Hoarding is a mental health issue. So please explain how the OP is being nosy and judgemental?
OhGiveUp · 29/12/2021 10:33

Is that you Mr Treebus?

HelloDulling · 29/12/2021 10:38

My mum is in a terraced house, joined on to a man like this. From her garden you can see papers piled up to the top of the upstairs windows. His garden is full of boxes of stuff. It was his mother’s house, and I don’t think he’s done anything about sorting things since she died. He never ever puts rubbish out, but comes and goes from the house with black bags of things. If you ever speak to him he is very rude, and I would assume has MH problems.

I think about contacting Environmental Health, but as he lives alone, I’m not sure they’d be that concerned.

HelloDulling · 29/12/2021 10:40

@mjkrta

well i speak from experience as my mum is a hoarder and can also confirm it has never effected me mentally or socially,but what has is judgemental gossiping neighbours!,i think its sad that this is even a topic of conversation,or am i missing the point?,help should come if and when needed by themselves or loved ones,not a new neighbour who has a nosey!,,,,,,was it even a cat?!
If she is actually a hoarder, then it is affecting HER mental health.
peaceanddove · 29/12/2021 10:46

As it stands, it's simply none of your business. It's only if the property becomes 'filthy & verminous' that your local council will take an interest.

poissonrouge1 · 29/12/2021 10:49

I have a friend/work colleague like this.

I had to go round to drop stuff off to him. He invited me in. His wife and young daughter were in and the house was a nightmare. Piled high with junk and clutter. I was mortified and there was no where for me to sit so we just stood in the middle of their living room. They didn’t bother their shirt though.

The kitchen was the same. A fucking disaster. Back garden was littered with all sorts of junk and garbage. I don’t know how they just live like that.

bcc89 · 29/12/2021 10:53

We're currently using our front room for storage because we're doing up the back rooms of the house. Our front room is piled high with bags and boxes in front of the window.

I hope you're not my nosy neighbour! Grin

Politics4me · 29/12/2021 10:55

Fire risk: this is very low a stack of magazines will not burn very quickly, oxygen will not get in among the pages. So if there is a fire it will be slow, the fire service will need little more than a couple of extinguishers.

Hoarding: There is little you can do, it becomes totally obsessive and if you were to help them they would give you a hard time by making 'rules' and conditions about what could go.
Don't try. I did with a friend who became so unreasonable, I lost contact.
Just keep on being friendly and talking about every other topic. Invite them round see if she will be friendly and you can do things together.