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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Just discovered we live next door to a hoarder - What to do?

308 replies

FaLaLaLaLaaaar · 28/12/2021 22:08

This post makes me sound like a pearl-clutching nosey neighbour, but I honestly don’t know what to do!

We recently moved into a new semi-detached home. Our neighbours to the right (not the one we are attached to) have always been quite pleasant and friendly. They’re a couple in their mid fifties and we often see him going to work, but she stays home.

They always keep their curtains closed, so their house always looks dark and you’d never know they were home.

Whilst popping out to the car earlier, I noticed their living room curtains were open (they don’t have any nets) and a light bulb was on, so I could see straight in. I WAS SO SHOCKED! Their entire living room is piled high to the light bulb with boxes and magazines! Every single space was full and some had fallen down. I am guessing their cat must have pulled the curtains down as god know how they would’ve got to them to open them!

DH said when he was trimming our trees he saw in from the garden and their dining room and kitchen appear to be in similar conditions. I’m assuming this means every room in their house must be like this too.

What should we do? I don’t want to get them in any trouble, but this is a massive fire hazard and although we are not attached to them, I do worry about the amount of flammable materials in there.

So do we just ignore this and do nothing?

Or should we call the fire brigade or something?

OP posts:
ApolloandDaphne · 28/12/2021 22:10

I think you live and let live.

flowersforbrains · 28/12/2021 22:11

What do you mean, what should we do? It's none of your business.

Crikey, what a busy body.

ChaosMoon · 28/12/2021 22:11

I think what you do is move on with your life. People do unsafe things in their own homes all the time. You're not even attached, this doesn't affect you.

Gettingthereslowly2020 · 28/12/2021 22:12

Report it to environmental health if you think it's really bad. You can find the number or email address on your council's website

BringBackCoffeeCreams · 28/12/2021 22:14

What should you do? Take up a hobby and get your nose out of your nneighbours' business.

Poptart4 · 28/12/2021 22:14

@flowersforbrains

What do you mean, what should we do? It's none of your business.

Crikey, what a busy body.

This
NotTheGrinchAgain · 28/12/2021 22:14

Oh poor lady. I knew someone who got themselves into a mess like this after losing her parents suddenly, she kept all their stuff and then became an obsessive hoarder.

I think it is best to ignore it , maybe try to befriend her a bit, invite her round for a cup of tea and play nice. Sounds like she could use a friend.

userxx · 28/12/2021 22:14

Who would you get them in trouble with ?

BridStar · 28/12/2021 22:15

There's nothing you can do, it's none of your business. Call the fire brigade indeed, what do you think they'll do, turn up with a skip?

"But what about MY property!", honestly

DesdemonaDryEyes · 28/12/2021 22:15

Keep your beak out.

FaLaLaLaLaaaar · 28/12/2021 22:15

@Gettingthereslowly2020 it did look really, really bad, they clearly can’t use that room at all.

But then again, they are active and seemingly capable of led big the house, so there’s no concern about their welfare.

I think I’m just so shocked as you’d never know from the outside!

OP posts:
Branleuse · 28/12/2021 22:17

Its absolutely nothing to do with you

mediumbrownmug · 28/12/2021 22:17

I’m not sure what you think you should do? Confused I’m not at all convinced that a) this is something that as a completely unattached and new neighbor you can fix, or b) that you should try.

WorraLiberty · 28/12/2021 22:18

I'm waiting for someone to suggest you go round and offer to tidy up 😂

To answer your question, you do nothing but stop nosing in their windows

XenoBitch · 28/12/2021 22:18

None of your business.

Scissor · 28/12/2021 22:19

Absolutely none of your business. You sound like a nightmare neighbour

FaLaLaLaLaaaar · 28/12/2021 22:19

@BridStar not a skip, but maybe a fire safety check?

I am not from the UK so we have different agencies for supporting residents in my home country, hence me asking.

OP posts:
Redcrayons · 28/12/2021 22:19

Mind your own business.

What do you think the fire brigade are going to do?

FaLaLaLaLaaaar · 28/12/2021 22:20

@WorraLiberty Nosing! I was getting something from my boot and looked up! I wasn’t nose pressed against the windows!

OP posts:
Lemonlady22 · 28/12/2021 22:21

My ndn garden is like this...full of junk, shed with no door, full of junk with a washing machine and tumble dryer in it with an extension lead going indoors, two other sheds full of crap that when he opens the doors you can see it all fall out. There are piles of damp wood for his wood burning stove that he uses to smoke out the neighbourhood, I've seen rats, which he says aren't his ?!?, the whole garden is a fire hazard, and a mess...the council EH are useless, and the DN is a fireman ...hes also the most obnoxious entitled knob i've ever met!

evrey · 28/12/2021 22:21

You keep your nose out of other peoples business.
It's an actual mental illness you know.
So unless you want ro offer unjudgemental support , just live your life and them them live theirs.

TopCatsTopHat · 28/12/2021 22:22

Hoarding is a serious mental illness and is notoriously difficult to resolve. The hoarder can find it impossible to change even with skilled intervention. You can't do anything other than be a pleasant neighbour.

Mum090521 · 28/12/2021 22:22

There are hoarding charities but they're for people who ask for help. They may just be decorating the upstairs.

fucketyfuckwit · 28/12/2021 22:22

You can feel some empathy for them to have got themselves into that situation.

Either befriend them and offer them support (for their sake, not yours). Or leave them be.

FaLaLaLaLaaaar · 28/12/2021 22:24

@NotTheGrinchAgain they seem a nice and happy couple, based on short chats.

I think I’m mostly just shocked as you’d never guess and it must be horrible to live like that.

OP posts: