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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just discovered we live next door to a hoarder - What to do?

308 replies

FaLaLaLaLaaaar · 28/12/2021 22:08

This post makes me sound like a pearl-clutching nosey neighbour, but I honestly don’t know what to do!

We recently moved into a new semi-detached home. Our neighbours to the right (not the one we are attached to) have always been quite pleasant and friendly. They’re a couple in their mid fifties and we often see him going to work, but she stays home.

They always keep their curtains closed, so their house always looks dark and you’d never know they were home.

Whilst popping out to the car earlier, I noticed their living room curtains were open (they don’t have any nets) and a light bulb was on, so I could see straight in. I WAS SO SHOCKED! Their entire living room is piled high to the light bulb with boxes and magazines! Every single space was full and some had fallen down. I am guessing their cat must have pulled the curtains down as god know how they would’ve got to them to open them!

DH said when he was trimming our trees he saw in from the garden and their dining room and kitchen appear to be in similar conditions. I’m assuming this means every room in their house must be like this too.

What should we do? I don’t want to get them in any trouble, but this is a massive fire hazard and although we are not attached to them, I do worry about the amount of flammable materials in there.

So do we just ignore this and do nothing?

Or should we call the fire brigade or something?

OP posts:
Morethanthis71 · 28/12/2021 23:16

My parents, or rather my mum, are hoarders and there is absolutely nothing they will let me do to help. I have not been allowed into their house for 16 years. Pre Covid they had made a start on clearing out some things and they did ask me to help them clear their garage, so that they could start to organise into keep, get rid and charity. I gave them boxes for this purpose. 2019 and it all came to a standstill. Nobody buys them anything that is not consumable now, as we don't want to clutter up their home further. I'm fairly sure that they are keeping the kitchen free of out of date food and I maintain their garden and fences for them , but that is all they will ket me do. They would be utterly mortified if they thought the neighbours had any idea of their hoarding.

Gettingthereslowly2020 · 28/12/2021 23:17

I think a lot of you need to read the OP again. This isn't just a load of clutter or a few boxes of magazines. OP said there are piles of things stacked up to the ceiling. Loads of things piled up to the ceiling is quite clearly a fire risk and also a health and safety risk. Watch a documentary on hoarding and maybe you'll understand what it is.

Hippychicken1 · 28/12/2021 23:17

My opposite neighbours house was like this probably worse .
The damage he did to his council house through his hoarding was unreal
They had to replace the whole staircase due to stuff he had put on and under stairs having woodworm

There was also considerable damage to the roof as he would never let the council in to do any repairs .
They had to replace the bathroom and the kitchen that had been put in about 2 years before he moved in,
Every single room and space was rammed high with random rubbish and it really was rubbish

It wasn’t even stuff that was valuable
He would see something like a tyre or a broken door or a fridge somewhere and take it into his house.
I was throwing out a fridge about 8 years ago that had stopped working and put it outside for collection by the council.
He took it and then moaned it wasn’t working even though I told him that .
I saw my fridge being taken away when they emptied the house 8 years later

When it was emptied they had 2 of the largest skips you can hire and it took a large flat back truck 4 or 5 trips to the dump. The clearance guy that Cleared my parents house recently reckons it would have easily cost 5k to have clear the house.

Plus the family had been taking his personal stuff out for several months
Honestly if they had said that the plane that disappeared was in his back garden I wouldn’t have been surprised.

His damage to his garden caused damage to both neighbours gardens as he kept birds
But from the front of the house you would not have known how bad it was
There was also a fire that started when workmen were in the house that was down to his hoarding . Pure luck that the council workmen were in the house at the time
A few hours later and the house would have burned down .
The neighbours on both sides complained to the council loads as one of them wanted to sell and his back garden was putting off buyers

Sadly It’s a mental illness that is very much overlooked

RilkeanHeart · 28/12/2021 23:18

Too many people rushing to kick the OP on this. It’s absolutely right (and not nosiness) to look out for neighbours who may have a mental health issue. There is support available (depending on your area of course) for hoarders because agencies recognise that hoarding is a real problem which is not only a safety risk but impacts massively on the hoarder’s life and wellbeing.

wildthingsinthenight · 28/12/2021 23:18

None of your business

CriminalOrator · 28/12/2021 23:22

OP, stop trying to do anything. Leave them alone.

Notmoresugar · 28/12/2021 23:24

YANBU
It really is a fire hazard.
I knew someone who sadly died because they couldn't climb their way out.

Purplewithred · 28/12/2021 23:25

@FaLaLaLaLaaaar “Please can I ask how you think your XDH and/or Neighbour would react if someone called the fire brigade to ask them to offer a safety check? Do you think it would help”

I think they would be horrified and insulted if they thought it was because someone had reported them as hoarders (but both are mild cases in fully functioning adults with capacity and no input from statutory services). I can’t see how it would help at all.

But the fire service wouldn’t go anyway - can you imagine “hi, someone told us you might be a bit of a fire hazard, can we come in? Blimey, you really need to get rid of some of this stuff”.

The real hoarders I’ve seen will always get a safeguarding referral, and/or are already well known to social services. Fire may go round and do a risk assessment and give advice and fit alarms as part of that.

I think some of the posters on here have been very harsh and pious. It sounds like it was quite a shock to you, which is completely understandable. But other than a safeguarding referral (which may well result in no action anyway) I do think you need to live and let live.

Cas112 · 28/12/2021 23:26

It's literally nothing to do with you, what a stupid question

sweetbellyhigh · 28/12/2021 23:28

@WorstXmasEver

I'd send an anonymous letter saying the house is a dump & to sort it out.
Why would you do that?

Do you think they like living like that?

And do you think such a spiteful note would in any way help them?

Etinoxaurus · 28/12/2021 23:28

@WorstXmasEver

I'd send an anonymous letter saying the house is a dump & to sort it out.
To them? How do you think they’d feel about that?
Etinoxaurus · 28/12/2021 23:30

My local council has a Reablement service. No idea if it works on a self referral basis or whether they’d be interested in what you’ve seen. Poor souls. Sad

Wavypurple · 28/12/2021 23:30

This is absolutely none of your business. They clearly keep the curtains closed to avoid people like you giving their unwanted opinions so just leave it.

GinGella · 28/12/2021 23:32

[quote Purplewithred]@FaLaLaLaLaaaar “Please can I ask how you think your XDH and/or Neighbour would react if someone called the fire brigade to ask them to offer a safety check? Do you think it would help”

I think they would be horrified and insulted if they thought it was because someone had reported them as hoarders (but both are mild cases in fully functioning adults with capacity and no input from statutory services). I can’t see how it would help at all.

But the fire service wouldn’t go anyway - can you imagine “hi, someone told us you might be a bit of a fire hazard, can we come in? Blimey, you really need to get rid of some of this stuff”.

The real hoarders I’ve seen will always get a safeguarding referral, and/or are already well known to social services. Fire may go round and do a risk assessment and give advice and fit alarms as part of that.

I think some of the posters on here have been very harsh and pious. It sounds like it was quite a shock to you, which is completely understandable. But other than a safeguarding referral (which may well result in no action anyway) I do think you need to live and let live.[/quote]
It would help because even if they refused a safe and well check from the fire service it is likely the fire service would put a note on the property and if there was a fire would increase the amount of fire appliances/resources they would send as well as notifying the fire fighters to expect a hoarded property.

Winne · 28/12/2021 23:33

Is it strange (i.e. attention seeking) to send out Christmas cards bought from a charity of an illness I have?

sweetbellyhigh · 28/12/2021 23:33

Of the garden is full of junk and attracting flies and rats, then it becomes an environmental hazard and you are well within your rights to do something. My first thought would be to approach them and ask if there was anything I could do to help, failing that I'd call the council for advice.

But if the hoarding is confined to the house well it doesn't affect you unless you make it your business.

BillMasheen · 28/12/2021 23:35

There’s some sanctimonious types on here tonight.

I’d say it is worth making the fire brigade aware at the very least. They might not go round, but at least they will know it would be at a higher risk of catching fire, and a very high risk operation to extract anyone from the building.

I absolutely wouldn’t want to know that my lack of action indirectly led to someone on a rescue team gering injured because they didn’t know what they were walking into.

GatoradeMeBitch · 28/12/2021 23:35

If the fire service suddenly comes out they're probably going to guess who sent them. I think I'd mind my own business.

And are stacks of boxes very different to say, a personal library? I have fitted bookcases on three walls of my living room completely filled with books. The room would probably go up in 30 seconds, but I'll take the risk!

GodspeedJune · 28/12/2021 23:45

Really difficult to manage this as hoarders don’t usually understand that the junk has no value, and can be quite aggressive if people try to assist them.

If the house is filled it’s only a matter of time before it spills into the garden.

ThreeLocusts · 28/12/2021 23:45

OP I think there's nothing wrong with you wondering if you could or should do anything. Hoarding is serious. But I don't have a better idea than fire brigade either. I hope they get help.

dittheringdoldrums · 28/12/2021 23:47

Oh all you lovely people on here who are horrified that the OP is concerned and are telling her to Mind Her Own!
@FaLaLaLaLaaaar I work in a service that often has referrals due to hoarding. As several people have said, it's a mental illness. And yes you're right it can be a fire and health and safety risk to both them and houses in the immediate vicinity.
It's incredibly hard to treat / manage. You could always call your local Safeguarding team (through social services) and ask for advice.

justasking111 · 28/12/2021 23:47

Ron White was right you really can't fix stupid.

Wecando · 28/12/2021 23:47

@WorstXmasEver

I'd send an anonymous letter saying the house is a dump & to sort it out.
I hope this was a joke ConfusedShock
dittheringdoldrums · 28/12/2021 23:49

@GatoradeMeBitch

If the fire service suddenly comes out they're probably going to guess who sent them. I think I'd mind my own business.

And are stacks of boxes very different to say, a personal library? I have fitted bookcases on three walls of my living room completely filled with books. The room would probably go up in 30 seconds, but I'll take the risk!

But I assume you can access every part of the room / your electric sockets/ have clear pathways to get out of your doors or windows? Having floor to ceiling bookcases is to serious hoarding is to wiping your kitchen surfaces down several times a day is to actually having OCD.
ALongHardWinter · 28/12/2021 23:55

Hoarding is recognised as a mental illness. I think the last thing your poor neighbour needs is you interfering by getting someone like the fire service involved.

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