Does anybody else not use people's names when speaking to them?

[Maddymorphosis]

Someone pointed out that I do it the other day

I only use names if I want to get their attention for instance if there are a few people in a room or they're part of a different conversation.

I wouldn't say 'Hey Sarah, how are you Sarah' etc.

I might on occasion do it by message but generally I don't use names when I speak to people.

I now feel kind of weird for it and odd, is there anybody else like me ?

I can't really remember how often I used people's names, but I suspect not very often as I know I find it actively irritating if other people use my name in every sentence.

I never thought about this before, but I'm also like this. My DH uses my name often, probably 2-3 times per day. I say his around once every 3-6 months. Not sure why but I find it awkward. Even if I have to call out to him or get his attention, I'd just yell "hey!" or similar instead of saying it.

IME not using names is the normal thing - of all the people I regularly interact with I only know one person who regularly uses my name in the middle of a conversation (i.e. not in a getting your attention in a group/initial greeting type way). I find it patronising personally.

No I’d be the same I think OP. Only use names if getting attention or referring to people, but I can think of people who would use names often whilst just in coversation..

I rarely say my husbands name. Only when taking about him to other people. Never call him by his name. Feels odd to say it to him.

Whenever my abusive exh used mine, I knew he was particularly disgusted with me

@1300cakes

I never thought about this before, but I'm also like this. My DH uses my name often, probably 2-3 times per day. I say his around once every 3-6 months. Not sure why but I find it awkward. Even if I have to call out to him or get his attention, I'd just yell "hey!" or similar instead of saying it.

Lol - same

I got told off once for not doing it. I make a point if it now.

I hate people overusing my name. Feels patronising, condescending and overfamiliar. It makes me want to run away from the speaker.

I don't understand why you would but now I'm wondering if I do not haha

**Do or not

YANBU

I don't think I use peoples names while talking to them

Apart from an initial greeting to a friend/acquaintance, I would never keep using a person's name. It seems very fake to me and it irritates the life out of me when DH uses a person's name when signing off/saying goodbye!

No unless I'm calling to them or yelling at them in the case of my kids to get their attention. The only exception is at work where we wre forced to use client names when speaking to them, it makes me cringe.

I’m so glad it’s not just me! I feel very uncomfortable using people’s names unless I know them very well. I’m not sure why, it just feels like a name is a very personal thing.

I had a driving instructor who did this. Ellie, start braking. Ellie, turn left here. Ellie, move up a gear. Ellie, watch out for the lights. Ellie, don't brake into a bend. It drove me insane, I was the only person he could possibly be speaking to! Thank fuck I passed my test quickly and never had to see him again.

I'd find it odd if it was used constantly in a single conversation but overall I don't mind it at all.

I don't use names either. I have a neighbour who will use my name at least 5 times in a conversation and it puts me on edge!

Completely normal in my world to use peoples names during conversation. Maybe it's a cultural thing.

I don’t even know why you would use someone’s name. If you are talking to them, they know that, no need to get their attention by calling them mid conversation.

I actually find it a little bit aggressive (possibly too strong a word), like when someone uses a name it's almost punctuation for being told off.

Dh rarely uses my name, and if he does call me he usually uses a pet name so it's it's more jarring when he does!

I have a couple of friends who do use my name in conversation lots. I quite like it but don't do it myself.

I have to consciously use peoples names a few times in conversation because it's the only way I remember them. I likely have crippling adhd though so I have put in coping strategies as much as I can.

I don't use people's names and I find it very weird when people repeat my name without a reason.

I think it is very odd to use somebody's name constantly within a conversation, and I would feel that it is being used to exert domination rather than as a natural part of the flow of the conversation. I only use people's names if I need to attract their attention or, if there are lots of people talking, to make it obvious which person I was addressing at that time. How would a conversation go if you were doing that? 'what do you think about going to Tenerife on holiday Dave? - Yes Delilah Tenerife sounds great - shall we go in July? - I've heard it gets very hot in the summer Dave.' etc.

@Whatwillbetheendofus

This is so interesting. I have a real complex about people using my name ( completely normal name) unnecessarily in conversation 😂. I'm fine with it being used in a group or to get my attention, but as soon as it's used when there's no need I feel like I'm being told off or like the conversation has taken a serious turn, or like I'm being put on the spot 😂. Please tell me someone feels the same 😅. My husband does it to get a reaction now.

Yes! I had a boss who often said "Look, Saffron" in discussion and I always felt he was annoyed with me!