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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think adult supervision doesn’t mean any old adult?

118 replies

WomanStanleyWoman · 28/12/2021 16:36

I’ve just been for a swim at my gym. Members can usually bring their children for lessons and at weekends, but I think it’s allowed all day at the moment as it’s school holidays.

For most of the time today, it was only me and two children (probably aged around six to eight) in the pool, with what I presume was their dad watching from the side. At one point he suddenly got up and went out into the reception area. He reappeared quickly enough, but it seemed a bit of an odd thing to do, as the pool is unsupervised - the only adult there was me. Then a few minutes later he did it again, and this time was gone for longer. He just seemed to be chatting in reception! (The door has a glass panel, which is how I could tell - but he had his back to it, so he couldn’t say he was keeping an eye on the children through the door.)

When he did reappear I was going to say something, but the children got out at that point and he took them off to change. Also another dad had arrived with his kids at this point, so perhaps Dad One had seen him come and thought ‘Well, there’s two adults there’.

The rule is that under 15s must be supervised. I couldn’t get steamed up about two 14 year-olds without parents, but under tens is a different matter. AIBU in thinking that adult supervision means a parent or guardian (or at least a lifeguard or instructor) - not just ‘there’s a woman swimming; therefore I can just wander off’?

OP posts:
DropYourSword · 29/12/2021 00:37

@WomanStanleyWoman
Thanks for the needless pedantry.

You asked, she answered. This was just needless snark Hmm

WomanStanleyWoman · 29/12/2021 00:38

It's concerning how wound up you are getting with the posters who don't agree - hours after the non event. Is there something else at play here?

You’re trying to make this my fault, when basically you’ve just been rude and pedantic.

OP posts:
WomanStanleyWoman · 29/12/2021 00:38

[quote DropYourSword]**@WomanStanleyWoman
Thanks for the needless pedantry.

You asked, she answered. This was just needless snark Hmm[/quote]
Get a life.

OP posts:
WomanStanleyWoman · 29/12/2021 00:39

You're so charming with all of the insults.

So you made a series of endless digs, but when I fight back, you make snarky comments about how I’m not ‘charming’?

OP posts:
WomanStanleyWoman · 29/12/2021 00:41

I don't know the rules at your swimming pool but ours kids are not allowed in the water when a lifeguardis not available.

There is never a lifeguard. All the rules say is children must be supervised - it doesn’t specify whether the adult has to actually be in the pool or not.

OP posts:
DropYourSword · 29/12/2021 00:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

CharlotteGoldenblattYork · 29/12/2021 00:44

OP, I'd definitely raise it as an issue at the gym and say you don't think it's appropriate that kids are left unsupervised in the pool. They'll probably keep a closer eye on things

Cherrytart23 · 29/12/2021 00:45

Normally for children as young as this an adult needs to be in the pool with them how where they allowed in alone.
I would of spoken to reception on the way out so they can have a word next time.

WomanStanleyWoman · 29/12/2021 00:45

@DropYourSword

Wow, having read through all the other comments you’ve made I’ve realised you really are just an unpleasant argumentative piece of work! Hope you’re getting what you need out of this thread. Have a wonderful new year.
I’m reporting your unnecessary personal attack.
OP posts:
santaclothes · 29/12/2021 00:50

@WomanStanleyWoman

It's concerning how wound up you are getting with the posters who don't agree - hours after the non event. Is there something else at play here?

You’re trying to make this my fault, when basically you’ve just been rude and pedantic.

I wasn't trying to apportion blame there, I was asking if you are ok Hmm

Flamingofeathers · 29/12/2021 00:50

I’m sure he would have left them anyway. When I was young our local leisure centre rules was 8 on your own. I remember going in on my own at 6( I remember because my whole class once got hauled out by our teacher for going in before lessons on our own and we all had to say how old we were). Anyway my dad would regularly tell me to just go in and swim, by myself at 6!! And I’m not that old now only mid 20s!!

CliantheLang · 29/12/2021 00:51

@RobotValkyrie

Love this thread...

Step 1: woman points out man does something grossly irresponsible.
Step 2: quick, someone deflects criticism by focusing on woman's supposed self-centeredness (... who the fuck else is she supposed to center, by the way?)

... classic!

I can't wait for winter break to end so all the MRAs/Incels have to go back to work or school. Having them come on every fucking thread to attack any woman who DARES to even mildly criticize her superior a penis-haver is becoming as boring as the Rules of Misogyny.
WomanStanleyWoman · 29/12/2021 00:57

I wasn't trying to apportion blame there, I was asking if you are ok Hmm

I’m fine when I don’t have to deal with shit.

OP posts:
Ionlydomassiveones · 29/12/2021 00:59

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

melj1213 · 29/12/2021 01:05

Not everything is about you OP - the guy didn't shout "Oi, you need to watch my kids!" so any "responsibility" you took was done off your own back.

As a parent I will always keep an eye on kids when I'm in a pool - whether they are mine, someone I'm with's or just random strangers - because it's just natural instinct, but I wouldn't be taking any responsibility for any child that wasn't with me.

If the guy chose to leave his children unsupervised then that is his decision, I wouldn't be getting involved with his kids unless one of them got into serious distress, but then I'd do that for any child if I was the first adult to notice, even if there was a responsible adult supervising them in the vicinity.

WomanStanleyWoman · 29/12/2021 01:09

Not everything is about you OP - the guy didn't shout "Oi, you need to watch my kids!" so any "responsibility" you took was done off your own back.

I never suggested he did.

By the way, the expression is ‘Off your own bat’, not ‘back’.

OP posts:
WomanStanleyWoman · 29/12/2021 01:10

@Ionlydomassiveones

Jesus what a nasty unnecessary pile on. Of course YANBU op. He was obviously a prick and so are the people baiting you. If one of those children had been in difficulty it would’ve been incumbent on you to act when you didn’t ask for that responsibility. Of course that’s annoying when you’re trying to enjoy a quiet swim by yourself.
Thank you @Ionlydomassiveones. It’s nice to see some sensible responses Smile
OP posts:
melj1213 · 29/12/2021 01:28

I never suggested he did.

Your entire OP is an inference that the guy expected you to take responsibility for his children ... the guy didn't ask or expect you to do anything so what is the issue?

By the way, the expression is ‘Off your own bat’, not ‘back’.

Thank you for pointing out my autocorrect but at 1.30am I'm not really that arsed about such pedantry.

WomanStanleyWoman · 29/12/2021 01:33

‘Autocorrect’. Yeah, right.

OP posts:
melj1213 · 29/12/2021 01:35

@WomanStanleyWoman

‘Autocorrect’. Yeah, right.
Believe as you like, but if your only response is to that and not the content of the post, that says more about your argument than anything else.
WomanStanleyWoman · 29/12/2021 01:36

Your entire OP is an inference that the guy expected you to take responsibility for his children ... the guy didn't ask or expect you to do anything so what is the issue?

The whole point is that he didn’t ask me - he just buggered off. It’s not that hard to work out.

OP posts:
KloppsTeeth · 29/12/2021 01:38

I’m with you op. Pools around here have a rule that all under 8s must be within arms length of a supervising person who is over the age of 16, ie that person must also be in the pool with them not out of the pool.

WomanStanleyWoman · 29/12/2021 01:40

Believe as you like, but if your only response is to that and not the content of the post, that says more about your argument than anything else.

It wasn’t my only response though, was it? You’ve actually responded to my other comments - how can you say now that I didn’t comment on the content (such as it was) of your post?

OP posts:
MorkandMandy · 29/12/2021 01:49

I’m with you OP. And I’d also assume that he assumed you’d keep an eye on them, same as I seem to get every other fucker’s children screaming WATCH ME WATCH ME at soft play.

RedHelenB · 29/12/2021 08:28

[quote EinsteinaGogo]@santaclothes

His behaviour impacted OP.

She was swimming, without anyone else to worry about, and then found herself having to be aware of the wellbeing of two children because their parent handed over responsibility by virtue of leaving the poolside.

I can see why OP would be cross about this.[/quote]
But she wasn't aware or worried because she has no idea if they could swim or not, she's said so.