Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think adult supervision doesn’t mean any old adult?

118 replies

WomanStanleyWoman · 28/12/2021 16:36

I’ve just been for a swim at my gym. Members can usually bring their children for lessons and at weekends, but I think it’s allowed all day at the moment as it’s school holidays.

For most of the time today, it was only me and two children (probably aged around six to eight) in the pool, with what I presume was their dad watching from the side. At one point he suddenly got up and went out into the reception area. He reappeared quickly enough, but it seemed a bit of an odd thing to do, as the pool is unsupervised - the only adult there was me. Then a few minutes later he did it again, and this time was gone for longer. He just seemed to be chatting in reception! (The door has a glass panel, which is how I could tell - but he had his back to it, so he couldn’t say he was keeping an eye on the children through the door.)

When he did reappear I was going to say something, but the children got out at that point and he took them off to change. Also another dad had arrived with his kids at this point, so perhaps Dad One had seen him come and thought ‘Well, there’s two adults there’.

The rule is that under 15s must be supervised. I couldn’t get steamed up about two 14 year-olds without parents, but under tens is a different matter. AIBU in thinking that adult supervision means a parent or guardian (or at least a lifeguard or instructor) - not just ‘there’s a woman swimming; therefore I can just wander off’?

OP posts:
WomanStanleyWoman · 28/12/2021 23:25

@santaclothes

Good god OP calm down!

He didn't abandon the children, he left them briefly, which obviously he should not have done, but it's nowhere close to abandonment. People do things like this all the time and they don't assume you will watch their kids, they just assume the kids will be fine. Like it or not I don't think you were the star player today.

What the hell does ‘Not the star player’ mean?
OP posts:
WomanStanleyWoman · 28/12/2021 23:25

@QueenCuntyFlippers

Could they swim? Or were they splashing around all helpless?
I’ve no idea. And do you know what? It’s not my job to know.
OP posts:
WomanStanleyWoman · 28/12/2021 23:26

@QueenCuntyFlippers

As PP have said, you have made a slightly irresponsible decision by a random man about you! How odd?! No big deal at all Judgie Judgeson.
How did I make it ‘about me’? I asked a perfectly simple question.
OP posts:
santaclothes · 28/12/2021 23:28

What the hell does ‘Not the star player’ mean?

It means it's not about you.

Think about it logically for a minute. You are a responsible parent, you would not leave your child. This man is not responsible and left his. It's unlikely he left them because you were there. He just left them. He didn't leave them with an expectation that you would watch them, he left them because he is not a responsible parent.

WomanStanleyWoman · 28/12/2021 23:30

That comment is meaningless.

OP posts:
QueenCuntyFlippers · 28/12/2021 23:31

Because a man left his (I assume) able to swim kids in a pool for a few minutes while he spoke to someone I reception and you have made it about you 🤣

EinsteinaGogo · 28/12/2021 23:31

@santaclothes

His behaviour impacted OP.

She was swimming, without anyone else to worry about, and then found herself having to be aware of the wellbeing of two children because their parent handed over responsibility by virtue of leaving the poolside.

I can see why OP would be cross about this.

PurpleDaisies · 28/12/2021 23:34

As a mum it's impossible to just ignore other kids in potentially dangerous situations.

Rubbish. Plenty of mums are perfectly capable of ignoring their own children in potentially dangerous situations.

This is a personality thing. Not exclusively a mum thing.

Kite22 · 28/12/2021 23:35

Well of course he shouldn't have wandered off, but then I don't think the gym should be allowing anyone to swim in an unmanned pool.

What if you were there alone and had a heart attack / seizure / other medical episode?

I do kind of get his thinking that one would shout if the other were in trouble, but I think the whole set up is far from ideal.

WomanStanleyWoman · 28/12/2021 23:35

Thank you @EinsteinaGogo Smile Some people are just making digs for the sake of it.

OP posts:
santaclothes · 28/12/2021 23:36

His behaviour impacted OP.

I didn't say otherwise.

She was swimming, without anyone else to worry about, and then found herself having to be aware of the wellbeing of two children because their parent handed over responsibility by virtue of leaving the poolside.

I know what happened.

I can see why OP would be cross about this.

Right. But my comment wasn't about whether OP should be cross or not, it was about the man not leaving his kids because 'a woman' was there, rather he just left them because he was irresponsible.

PurpleDaisies · 28/12/2021 23:37

What if you were there alone and had a heart attack / seizure / other medical episode?

Adults are usually capable of deciding if they’re at a serious risk of that.

WomanStanleyWoman · 28/12/2021 23:37

@QueenCuntyFlippers

Because a man left his (I assume) able to swim kids in a pool for a few minutes while he spoke to someone I reception and you have made it about you 🤣
Absolutely everything about your post makes me glad I’ll never set eyes on you in real life.
OP posts:
QueenCuntyFlippers · 28/12/2021 23:38

😘

milkysmum · 28/12/2021 23:38

Could the children swim? I don't think it's so bad if he stepped out briefly and they could both swim.
In our local pool children age 8 and over can attend the pool without an adult- and most local children walk down to the village baths from this age and spend weekends/ school holidays enjoying swimming time without adults.

WomanStanleyWoman · 28/12/2021 23:39

@santaclothes

His behaviour impacted OP.

I didn't say otherwise.

She was swimming, without anyone else to worry about, and then found herself having to be aware of the wellbeing of two children because their parent handed over responsibility by virtue of leaving the poolside.

I know what happened.

I can see why OP would be cross about this.

Right. But my comment wasn't about whether OP should be cross or not, it was about the man not leaving his kids because 'a woman' was there, rather he just left them because he was irresponsible.

So what’s your POINT? Is the test man who left his kids irresponsible or not?
OP posts:
QueenCuntyFlippers · 28/12/2021 23:39

Oh, YABU. 😁

santaclothes · 28/12/2021 23:40

So what’s your POINT? Is the test man who left his kids irresponsible or not?

I have said all along he is irresponsible Hmm

CallMeNutribullet · 28/12/2021 23:41

@PurpleDaisies

What if you were there alone and had a heart attack / seizure / other medical episode?

Adults are usually capable of deciding if they’re at a serious risk of that.

Are they? There's always a first event when it comes to heart attack/seizure/stroke etc and for every adult I know it's happened to, the first occurrence has been a complete surprise.
WomanStanleyWoman · 28/12/2021 23:41

Well of course he shouldn't have wandered off, but then I don't think the gym should be allowing anyone to swim in an unmanned pool.

I agree - but surely an adult man is capable of deciding he shouldn’t leave his children, even if the gym allows it?

OP posts:
WomanStanleyWoman · 28/12/2021 23:42

@santaclothes

So what’s your POINT? Is the test man who left his kids irresponsible or not?

I have said all along he is irresponsible Hmm

Then why are you constantly having a go?
OP posts:
WomanStanleyWoman · 28/12/2021 23:42

@QueenCuntyFlippers

Oh, YABU. 😁
Why?
OP posts:
santaclothes · 28/12/2021 23:43

Then why are you constantly having a go?

I posted, someone responded. I replied etc etc / it's how forum posts work. You post, it invites discussion.

WomanStanleyWoman · 28/12/2021 23:44

You’re coming across really badly.

OP posts:
santaclothes · 28/12/2021 23:45

@WomanStanleyWoman

You’re coming across really badly.

Because I don't agree with you?

Grin
Swipe left for the next trending thread