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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to have them over even though we have Covid?

64 replies

UndertheCedartree · 28/12/2021 00:08

I'm not feeling great so brain is all over the place and I can't decide what the best thing to do is!

We have been unwell since Christmas day but due to a lack of LFTs we've not been able to test. We had contact with friends who have Covid so are assuming it is but we don't know for sure.

My DB and family are due to come over on Wednesday. I explained the above. He replied 'I'm not concerned about Covid atall. I think we need to start living with it like any other cold.'

Part of me thinks - well up to them if they want to risk it. Could do with someone coming over and making me a cup of tea/feeding the kids. But would that be really irresponsible?

OP posts:
DirectionToPerfection · 28/12/2021 00:11

No, this would be ridiculous, and your DB is being an idiot if he's willing to expose his family to covid.

Bloody hell.

SleepingStandingUp · 28/12/2021 00:12

Yes

Get on FB or mess e friends and see if anyone will drop you some LFTs.

You might be happy to pass it on to him but he's clearly not going to isolate if he gets it and will happily spread it around so that would be too much for my conscience

GodspeedJune · 28/12/2021 00:12

Yes it would be really irresponsible. Can you go for a PCR test first?

BitterTits · 28/12/2021 00:13

Well their family is going to be taking Covid into school next week if you pass it on to them, so YABVU.

bringmelaughter · 28/12/2021 00:15

You’re unwell so a pcr is appropriate not a lft.

StarbucksSmarterSister · 28/12/2021 00:16

Send off for a PCR. It comes really quickly, you post it back in a priority postbox and get the results 24 hours later.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 28/12/2021 00:17

Why would you not sort a PCR out? Forget the LFT. Mine were all negative but PCR positive.

Hairyfriend · 28/12/2021 00:19

Why haven't you all done PCR's by now with your symptoms???

CagneyNYPD1 · 28/12/2021 00:19

If you have symptoms/ are unwell, you need a PCR.

Of course, if you are so unwell that you are unable to look after your dc and the situation has become unsafe, your DB is allowed to support you with this.

But if you just fancy a lie down or some company, then you are making a v big mistake. But I think you probably know this already.

RuggerHug · 28/12/2021 00:19

Him not caring about himself is one thing. Everyone he comes in contact with after seeing you though? Just cancel especially since you aren't even feeling well yourself!

Hairyfriend · 28/12/2021 00:20

@CurlyhairedAssassinurl- cross post.

BluebellsGreenbells · 28/12/2021 00:21

Why would you? Why would you want more people to be ill? Totally selfish.

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 28/12/2021 00:22

Yes, thank you - that makes sense - they could spread it to all and sundry. To be honest only a small selfish part of me just wanted some help and it did irk me the whole living with it as any other cold. I had it really bad in the first lockdown and was hospitalised and then had Long Covid so it affected me for about a year. Not really just a cold! Even this time we just slept the whole of Christmas day/Boxing day - much more than just a cold. And the breathlessness has come back for me. Luckily I still have an inhaler from last time.

I have ordered PCR tests but they won't arrive in time. I don't drive and we're too unwell to walk to a test centre.

OP posts:
Alysskea · 28/12/2021 00:24

You can't allow them round! Covid is highly transmissible. They might not care if they catch it but what about their wider friends and family, people at school, colleagues, people on public transport. The list goes on!

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 28/12/2021 00:24

@bringmelaughter

You’re unwell so a pcr is appropriate not a lft.
Well actually only if you have certain symptoms not just unwell. However, the point is if LFTs were available we could have easily done one. PCR not so easy to access and results can take a long time.
OP posts:
Pensieve · 28/12/2021 00:26

Glad you’ve come to your senses OP. Your update is even more shocking - you were hospitalised with COVID, had/have long COVID, feel it’s more than a cold this time and ‘you’re too unwell’ to even get to a test centre.

This is why people need to isolate. It’s transmissible enough as it is without knowingly putting anyone at risk.

RuggerHug · 28/12/2021 00:26

OP you're obviously exhausted and feeling rotten, but you had enough about you to ask. If he wants to come give him a shopping list and ask him to leave it on the doorstep. Practical, helpful and safe. If he complains don't bother giving him headspace. You've enough going on.

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 28/12/2021 00:27

@BluebellsGreenbells

Why would you? Why would you want more people to be ill? Totally selfish.
Yes, I was being selfish. My sleep addled brain was just focused on getting a drink and thinking he should know it is more than just a cold! But I hadn't thought on from that that they could pass it on to others. I definitely won't have them over and I know what to say now.
OP posts:
AutumnLeaves21 · 28/12/2021 00:29

Clearly you have symptoms enough that you’re treating it as covid, so your comments re PFT vs PCR make no sense.
You would be very unreasonable to have anyone around and you are being unreasonable that you haven’t already had a pcr.

JanglyBeads · 28/12/2021 00:29

You'd be breaking the law too I think

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 28/12/2021 00:31

@RuggerHug

OP you're obviously exhausted and feeling rotten, but you had enough about you to ask. If he wants to come give him a shopping list and ask him to leave it on the doorstep. Practical, helpful and safe. If he complains don't bother giving him headspace. You've enough going on.
I don't know if it's the medication I'm on but I often struggle to think through problems in a logical manner. As soon as someone explains it it makes sense! That's why I ask here as I know I'll get a sensible no nonsense answer. Yes, I can ask for them to get us some things.
OP posts:
CurlyhairedAssassin · 28/12/2021 00:31

More to the point why would HE want to come over to visit people who are ill? Even if it wasn’t COVID I would never impose on someone who was ill and just wanted to have a quiet day resting trying to get better.

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 28/12/2021 00:35

@AutumnLeaves21

Clearly you have symptoms enough that you’re treating it as covid, so your comments re PFT vs PCR make no sense. You would be very unreasonable to have anyone around and you are being unreasonable that you haven’t already had a pcr.
When you apply for a PCR you are asked if you have certain symptoms - it is only if you have any of those 3 that you can get a PCR. I take it you haven't had Covid. There is a lot more to it than those 3 symptoms. So if I don't have those I an not eligible for a PCR so no not unreasonable to not have had one. If I am eligible can you explain exactly how I could have already got one??
OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 28/12/2021 00:36

@CurlyhairedAssassin - oh I just get the impression it's to make a point. I don't know.

OP posts:
MolkosTeenageAngst · 28/12/2021 00:39

When you apply for a PCR you are asked if you have certain symptoms - it is only if you have any of those 3 that you can get a PCR. I take it you haven't had Covid. There is a lot more to it than those 3 symptoms. So if I don't have those I an not eligible for a PCR so no not unreasonable to not have had one. If I am eligible can you explain exactly how I could have already got one??

You don’t have to have certain symptoms, you can order a PCR test if you have been a close contact of somebody with covid, it is one of the drop down options on the website.

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