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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Don’t buy clothes for people for Christmas!

65 replies

GaiusHelenMohiam · 27/12/2021 20:56

A relative of mine always does.

It’s mad. I wear two styles, smart office type wear, inoffensive tops and dark trousers; and basically pjs. If I’m going out I have plenty of dresses/jeans and nice top combos.

This year they have gifted us:

Me: a high necked puff sleeved smock. A care bear jumper. A Per Una top with random bottoms and frills.

17yo DD (ids as non binary, dresses like a 90s goth) a floral blouse, flared stone wash jeans, both too big.

DH (6 ft and 10stone) a pair of extra large pyjamas. She is married to his ID twin…

AIBU to think this is insane behaviour? She does have shopping issues. My presents were two bags full, the rest was dust gathering ornaments that she would love but I very much do not.

She’s known me for nearly two decades.

I’ve played this game for too long and this time I’m actually going to tell her it’s rubbish. It’s all going to the chazza.

In comparison we got them the things they asked for from their list. I used to hate lists but I’m starting to see their value. This year for eg my brother and I agreed to give each other ten million pounds and leave it at that 🤣. (The rest of my siblings and I literally swap money, it’s bonkers). I’d really rather not bother apart from kids.

OP posts:
GaiusHelenMohiam · 27/12/2021 20:57

Buttons on the per una top and whatever other typos I’ve missed. I have Covid brain fog etc.

OP posts:
DoneAdulting · 27/12/2021 20:57

My mum does this. She works in a charity shop and brings home anything that gets donated with tags on. Then gifts it to us all like we are going to believe she bought them new!

ShowOfHands · 27/12/2021 20:58

I love clothes for Christmas and my family are bloody good at buying them.

happychristmasbum · 27/12/2021 20:58

I love getting clothes for Christmas, but people buy me things I would like...

tectonicplates · 27/12/2021 20:59

I know a lot of people dislike gift vouchers, but actually I think they're a really good idea if you can find out someone's favourite clothes shops. That way, they can buy themselves something they like in the right size.

GaiusHelenMohiam · 27/12/2021 21:00

@ShowOfHands

I love clothes for Christmas and my family are bloody good at buying them.
That’s the difference though! She dresses very differently to me (quite right too, and hurrah for differences) but fgs don’t buy me clothes I won’t ever wear.
OP posts:
GreetingsAndSalutations · 27/12/2021 21:00

The issue isn’t buying clothes for Christmas it’s giving gifts are shit because there’s no thought into them at all and what the person receiving them would like. I understand the frustration of having a load of stuff you just don’t want cluttering up the house that you now have to get rid of.

Redglitter · 27/12/2021 21:00

Sorry YABU any clothes my Mum gets me I love & I know exactly what my nieces like

Sorry your relatives have crap.taste though 🤭

Mind you my Mum has a friend who gives presents which are so awful they're legendary. We think she's messing with us. Maybe your relative is the same 😂

GaiusHelenMohiam · 27/12/2021 21:00

Ooh I said different a lot then.

OP posts:
Kshhuxnxk · 27/12/2021 21:01

YABU purely for saying Chazza........

Smartiepants79 · 27/12/2021 21:02

I love getting clothes for Xmas.
But my DH and family are really good at choosing things I’d like. My DH in particular is great at choosing me interesting things that suit me but I’d never pick for myself.
Clothes as gifts is not the problem. Your relatives taste is.

GaiusHelenMohiam · 27/12/2021 21:02

I think she is messing with us. DHs pjs are so big he can get his whole body in one leg. His brother is literally the identical weight and height so that is a bizarre purchase.

OP posts:
mynameiscalypso · 27/12/2021 21:02

My SIL and I could not be more different (I'm pretty much every way - including how we dress) but she is ace at buying me clothes I like. She once said that she goes into a shop and looks for things that she actively dislikes and then she knows I'll probably like if.

GaiusHelenMohiam · 27/12/2021 21:03

@mynameiscalypso

My SIL and I could not be more different (I'm pretty much every way - including how we dress) but she is ace at buying me clothes I like. She once said that she goes into a shop and looks for things that she actively dislikes and then she knows I'll probably like if.
Oh god I’d love that. She could buy the least garish/slogan/sparkly stuff and I’d likely wear it every day.
OP posts:
GaiusHelenMohiam · 27/12/2021 21:05

@DoneAdulting

My mum does this. She works in a charity shop and brings home anything that gets donated with tags on. Then gifts it to us all like we are going to believe she bought them new!
All of this has tags so I’ll probs return it. My sister reckons she shoplifts it 🤣🤣
OP posts:
Bearnecessity · 27/12/2021 21:09

Buy clothes provide the gift receipt to exchange if required, I got a gorgeous jumper and shirt from my mum....couldn't be happier...

HalloHello · 27/12/2021 21:12

My husband's Grannie does this for the kids. Random things she's seen on sales and outlets for my 2 kids in random sizes and normally don't match the seasons, and I have to store them for an unspecified amount of time. This year, she gave my 3 month old a winter coat in size 2-3. Fits my 3 year old daughter... So pointless and I'll put it in a safe place and forget all about it!

BitterTits · 27/12/2021 21:16

I have an aunt who used to do this. It was basically random unsuitable stuff she'd picked up in the sales. At 17 and a size 10-12 I was given a XL top. It would fit me now but at the time it was just offensive that because she and her side of the family were very thin, they saw me as extra large. Entirely preferable to receive nothing.

Suzanne999 · 27/12/2021 21:17

I’m sorry but I had to laugh at the Care Bear jumper. Who knew such a thing existed?
Have also had the weird clothes presents—- a too small sweatshirt with all over print of various dogs…….. because I have a dog. From a lovely friend but I wish she wouldn’t.

GaiusHelenMohiam · 27/12/2021 21:22

@BitterTits

I have an aunt who used to do this. It was basically random unsuitable stuff she'd picked up in the sales. At 17 and a size 10-12 I was given a XL top. It would fit me now but at the time it was just offensive that because she and her side of the family were very thin, they saw me as extra large. Entirely preferable to receive nothing.
This is exactly it, I think she trawls the sales for anything in a size 10/12 and decides it’s my size so it will do. And I have no idea the logic behind the kids and dh wrong sizes. DH tends to be based around films he likes. DD stuff was just so off base though
OP posts:
VaccineSticker · 27/12/2021 21:22

OP get an Amazon wishlist next year.
You won’t get unwanted gifts anymore.

Kite22 · 27/12/2021 21:24

I voted YABU, as I (and dh and my dc) have had some lovely clothes as present over the year.

However
The issue isn’t buying clothes for Christmas it’s giving gifts are shit because there’s no thought into them at all and what the person receiving them would like

I agree with this.
If you had asked about people buying presents that do no suit the person they are giving them to, then Y wouldn't B being U

On the other hand, the fact you have said you have resisted offering up a 'wish list' for people to get something from then loses my sympathy. If you've known them 20 years and always have presents you'll never use / don't like, then why on earth wouldn't you guide them towards something you'd like ? Confused

KCee30 · 27/12/2021 21:26

Buying someone clothes is too risky imo. She's probably found it all in the sale and thought that will do.

GaiusHelenMohiam · 27/12/2021 21:28

I do wish lists!

I just used to resent them because it became like a shopping list. Literally with Argos catalogue numbers.

This year (and for about the last ten) I’ve said please just get us experiences or promises. So my parents gave us vouchers for a local restaurant, my sisters and I went for an expensive meal and paid for each other 🤣 that kind of thing. I’ve stuck religiously to the lists as required. This particular relative has gone so off list it’s ridiculous. As every year.

OP posts:
DeepaBeesKit · 27/12/2021 21:28

I can't even say what MiL got me, DH and the kids because it's too outing but yanbu.

With you in sympathy OP.