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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Don’t buy clothes for people for Christmas!

65 replies

GaiusHelenMohiam · 27/12/2021 20:56

A relative of mine always does.

It’s mad. I wear two styles, smart office type wear, inoffensive tops and dark trousers; and basically pjs. If I’m going out I have plenty of dresses/jeans and nice top combos.

This year they have gifted us:

Me: a high necked puff sleeved smock. A care bear jumper. A Per Una top with random bottoms and frills.

17yo DD (ids as non binary, dresses like a 90s goth) a floral blouse, flared stone wash jeans, both too big.

DH (6 ft and 10stone) a pair of extra large pyjamas. She is married to his ID twin…

AIBU to think this is insane behaviour? She does have shopping issues. My presents were two bags full, the rest was dust gathering ornaments that she would love but I very much do not.

She’s known me for nearly two decades.

I’ve played this game for too long and this time I’m actually going to tell her it’s rubbish. It’s all going to the chazza.

In comparison we got them the things they asked for from their list. I used to hate lists but I’m starting to see their value. This year for eg my brother and I agreed to give each other ten million pounds and leave it at that 🤣. (The rest of my siblings and I literally swap money, it’s bonkers). I’d really rather not bother apart from kids.

OP posts:
RowsOfHolly · 28/12/2021 00:23

Since she loves shopping, why don’t you give her a list?

She gives you a list!

Maybe she thinks your PJs style needs an uplift Wink

GaiusHelenMohiam · 28/12/2021 01:25

@RowsOfHolly

Since she loves shopping, why don’t you give her a list?

She gives you a list!

Maybe she thinks your PJs style needs an uplift Wink

Oh people. I gave her a list. It said ‘experiences or consumables’ I gave her and hers things from her lists.

I basically hate lists unless they are vague because I resent passing money from family to family, my lot do it out of LOLs really, take each other out for dinner, swap ‘cheques’ for a million quid. Adult presents unless meaningful are just a consumerist waste of time. Buy me a gorgeous trinket or a well thought out card or don’t bother and we’ll hand over £30 each or whatever.

OP posts:
GaiusHelenMohiam · 28/12/2021 01:27

For my December birthday my lot begged for ideas so I said jewellery; silver; not garish. I got some beautiful cheap rings and necklaces. Said relative bought me an outdoor candle and three tops from Marks and Spencer’s. I hate my garden; it’s a weed patch the dogs use, and I have never in my life worn M&S anything

OP posts:
LadyPerseverance · 28/12/2021 01:32

This is why I tell people not to get me clothes gifts unless I ask for something specific or want pyjamas. Even my annual Christmas pyjamas have been shit for the past few years but I daren’t say anything in case I offend (even though I send suggestions of what I would like) 🙄😬

But yeah, I don’t think she will stop unless you say something blunt, which will likely offend!

Dancingonmoonlight · 28/12/2021 01:59

You ABU for buying from her Amazon wish list while she ignores you. Next year do as she does and buy random sized clothing and gift them to her and her family. Keep doing this until she stops doing it.

LadyPerseverance · 28/12/2021 02:04

If she’s buying from a particular store, could you ask her for a gift voucher instead? Or is she the sort of person that would consider that impersonal? The only other thing is asking to go shopping with her and point out things you like. If she still keeps buying you the wrong thing then at least you know she’s taking the piss and you can do the same back.

Twinkleylight · 28/12/2021 02:17

Agree secret santa for next Christmas now or just buy for the children only.

Cissyandflora · 28/12/2021 02:22

Chazza? Boak

liveforsummer · 28/12/2021 08:23

Oh people. I gave her a list. It said ‘experiences or consumables’ I gave her and hers things from her lists.

That is not a list. You need to be waaaay more specific. 'Afternoons tea at...' 'balloon ride' - send some links to choose from. 'quality street as I've gone off roses' 'cheese board but no Stilton thanks' or set up a wish list on Amazon with specific things added.

GaiusHelenMohiam · 28/12/2021 09:45

@Cissyandflora

Chazza? Boak
Boak? Do you not see the irony there? HmmGrin
OP posts:
Invasionofthegutsnatchers · 28/12/2021 09:48

Please send the care bears jumper my way @GaiusHelenMohiam I'm happy to pay postage!

Iputthetrampintrampoline · 28/12/2021 10:33

OP...I am 50 yrs old and have never looked good in pink leopard print trousers or sparkly tops that have slogans,this year my slogan top was and I quote "get up and glo"....fucking fabulous choices said no one ever!

bigred22 · 28/12/2021 12:27

My mum does this, I don't know why she still buys me them because they're almost always the opposite of what I would wear and she always says "if you don't like it, it will do for work 🙄" I've lost count of how many times I've said I don't just wear anything to work.

I just smile, say thanks and that I like them now before taking them back or to the charity shop.

She does it for my DS too, I hate clothes covered in characters and she buys them anyway, so do my sisters and they say "I couldn't resist" 🤷🏻‍♀️ again, return or charity shop!

This year they all smell too so I've had the added bonus of washing and drying them so they'll have to go to charity rather than returned!

RedCandyApple · 28/12/2021 13:01

I hate being bought clothes by anyone, my mum always buys me clothes and I hate it, we have totally different taste and nothing is ever my style.

Hemingwayscatz · 28/12/2021 13:03

Clothes are way too risky unless someone has asked for a specific thing. I buy my DC clothes I know they’ll like and they always do but that’s it. I’d never buy relatives clothes, no way.

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