Don’t buy clothes for people for Christmas!

[GaiusHelenMohiam]

A relative of mine always does.

It’s mad. I wear two styles, smart office type wear, inoffensive tops and dark trousers; and basically pjs. If I’m going out I have plenty of dresses/jeans and nice top combos.

This year they have gifted us:

Me: a high necked puff sleeved smock. A care bear jumper. A Per Una top with random bottoms and frills.

17yo DD (ids as non binary, dresses like a 90s goth) a floral blouse, flared stone wash jeans, both too big.

DH (6 ft and 10stone) a pair of extra large pyjamas. She is married to his ID twin…

AIBU to think this is insane behaviour? She does have shopping issues. My presents were two bags full, the rest was dust gathering ornaments that she would love but I very much do not.

She’s known me for nearly two decades.

I’ve played this game for too long and this time I’m actually going to tell her it’s rubbish. It’s all going to the chazza.

In comparison we got them the things they asked for from their list. I used to hate lists but I’m starting to see their value. This year for eg my brother and I agreed to give each other ten million pounds and leave it at that 🤣. (The rest of my siblings and I literally swap money, it’s bonkers). I’d really rather not bother apart from kids.

Ysnbu. My mil buys me clothes but she's generally very good at it.

Reminds me of the time my boss called me over to his computer to ask me if his DD would like these pjs. No idea! I'd never even met her...

I agree with a PP who said YABU for calling charity 'chazza'.

My close relative buys me clothes that are 3/4 sizes too big, they know my size but think I need to put on weight so their solution is to waste their money, every year.

No YANBU its annoying when they don't fit/suit. My FIL bought PJs far too small for my DS and then a book for one of my DDs that we already had - it's an old David Walliams one so not hot off the press or anything. A waste of his money on both counts.

I’ve never heard the word “chazza” before.

misses point of thread

I’ve tried time and again to persuade my ILs to not do adults presents and just do kids presents or even none at all (it’s not like our kids or any of the others don’t have enough). They feel that would take the fun out of Xmas but the amount of c**p we’ve acquired this Xmas alone makes me feel a) guilty that people have spent their money on stuff none of us wants and b) depressed at the waste.

On the rare year where I’m asked what I’d like, I always suggest something like scented shower gel or consumables such as nice ground coffee, chocolates or spices. But it’s very seldom this ever happens!

My Sil in particular always gets my OH the most horrendous items of clothing which he just can’t wear out. She’s so lovely and always asks if he likes it or if he’d like her to send it back but he just doesn’t have the heart to say on the spot ‘oh sorry it’s not really my thing’ as he (and I) think she would be crushed. She has clearly bought the stuff online and she doesn’t have much money - she’s the one we always say to pre-Xmas ‘we have loads of stuff so please don’t spend money on us or if you do, make it a small token present like some chocolates’. Never works though and after over 20 years of this I despair about finding a better way forward…

Sounds familiar op 😂
My mum bought DD Christmas pjs, however it will be summertime by the time they fit her. Also bought xmas joggers and a random pj top with no bottoms. And yep, wrong sizes again 😂

I think a blouse with random bottoms sounds like a lot of fun!

She also removes the tags so i can't exchange 🙄

DH (6 ft and 10stone) a pair of extra large pyjamas. She is married to his ID twin…

Your relative is married to your DH’s twin? Is she your sister?

MIL bought DH 12 pairs of socks. For his birthday a month ago she bought him 6 pairs of socks. She always buys him at least 2 packs of socks every gifting occasion. He has 2 draws and 3 storage boxes of fucking socks. I specifically told her not to. I'm donating all but a handful when I've finished tidying Christmas presents up!

Organise a get together and persuade all of your family to dress in the clothes that she gifted. All of you stand together as if posing for a twee famiyl photo, big scary smiles. The sight of you all - with DH in his XXXL PJs - may send a message that she doesnt quite get it right...

My DM has finally got the message about clothes but this year bought me an apron,oven gloves and pan scourers.

My sil spends £100s on her friends kids but nothing for mine so I don’t buy for hers either

YANBU. My MiL does this and takes the labels off everything so we are stuck with it (well, it goes to the chazza (love that word!)).

This year we got:
Jumper each for me and DH. Neither fit and are awful quality.
Christmas outfit for the baby that’s six months too big - won’t fit him this year or next.
Slippers for toddler that are so heavy (wtf?) that he won’t wear them.
Four pairs of Christmas pjs for toddler that are too small, and she knows he still wears zip up Wondersuits anyway.
Booties for the baby that are so tiny they don’t go on his feet.

Don’t get me started on the rest of the crap. I now have to bag it all up and take it to the charity shop, I wish DH could just tell her. In my family we would be honest!

No...only buy boxer shorts or plain t shirts if its clothes....each year i insist i dont need or want anything ....so i get socks that are for a man size 10 and an xxxl t shirt and i am size small....i only buy for a few people but think next year i will not do presents...nearly all i receive end up in charity shop.

I will gladly take your care bear jumper

I agree OP! Unless they get it absolutely right of course, but it’s so rarely the case imo

My Mum got me this really short black skirt with a fringe across it a few years ago. Bad enough, but it was the wrong size! I couldn’t even take it back because she bought it so early on that by the time I got to the shops, they would no longer return it (ie past the date)

My Mum does this a lot - complains about people buying things that aren’t really “her” but buys me things that are the exact opposite of my taste. Says things like “oh I thought those were just your colours” when they’re the exact opposite of anything I wear!

Voted YANBU - with the obvious exception being where the recipient has actually asked for the item in question!

DD6's Santa list had nothing but clothing on it, whereas DS9 has a look of barely-concealed disgustif he gets clothing.

I've said so often I don't want clothes that now I don't bother. I keep the tags on and just take them to a charity shop when they open. I feel sorry people waste their money but what else can I do?

Give her a list! No more angst.

My DM buys me clothing that is absolutely not to my taste every year. I've tried politely saying that some things aren't my style. This year I sent her a link to something I would like which she kindly bought me but also gave me something that I would never wear in a million years. I just say thank you now, try to look pleased then give it to the charity shop.

I'd normally agree with you but this year DH bought me a beautiful Kimono because I'd been complaining that my dressing gown was too warm to wear when the heatings on. It's beautiful!!

My MIL used to do all her Christmas shopping in The Original Factory Shop. You got what she could find there regardless of whether it was your size or style or not. She felt she had to get us something but refused flatly to accept suggestions. My husband's stay press jeans (knife edge creases, no amount of washing or ironing would shift them) were quite memorable.

I think she bought stuff to "smarten" us up, or to get me to wear more colourful, feminine clothes. Then you had to keep thanking her, every phone call for weeks after Christmas and tell her how often you were wearing the items (I did a lot of lying) and explain what wash cycle I was using on them so she could be sure I wouldn't ruin them.

It's sorted it now. She gets a food hamper with treats and we get two joints of meat but it was all bloody exhausting.

The in-laws bought us all clothes for Christmas. But many of them just aren't to our taste or they don't fit.

I've told OH that he needs to tell his family not to buy our children clothes anymore and he needs to give them a list of ideas.