Unanswered MN questions

[WomanStanleyWoman]

There are certain threads that come up on MN again and again, year after year - and for me, they throw up obvious questions. Yet on more than one thread, I’ve asked these questions, but no one ever seems to answer. Am I missing something - or is it that the answer would contradict the OP’s key argument?

A couple of examples that spring to mind:

‘What is it with people who won’t answer the door? What if a lovely relative had sent you a surprise and you missed the delivery? What if one of your neighbours had lost their cat and needed to check your garden? What if someone was desperate for help and you just ignored them?!?’

The question I always ask is ‘What do these people do if you’re out?’ Presumably even people who happily answer the door to anyone at any time of day have to go out to work, to the shops, to visit family etc. What do these people desperate to see you do then? Surely the delivery driver puts a card through the door; the neighbour with the cat leaves you a note; the person in desperate need of help tries the next house. If all of these are perfectly workable solutions for when someone is out, why can’t they work if someone just doesn’t feel like answering the door? But no matter how many people I’ve asked, never a reply.

Another one that I’ve seen come up a few times is whether it’s okay to let children/teens leave the crusts off a sandwich. Whenever I see this topic comes up, a few posters will always claim that said teens will be starving and reaching for chocolate later because they didn’t eat enough calories at lunch, because they were ‘fussy’.

I’ve pointed out on more than one of these threads that a slice of bread averages at around 105 calories; therefore there can’t be more than 10 - 15 calories in the crust. I’ve asked the calorie counters if they really believe that a maximum of 30 calories could really make the difference between being full until dinner and a junk food binge mid-afternoon - but again, not a reply.

What are your unanswered questions? Also, feel free to answer either of mine if you can!

Why do people without children read Mumsnet? Ok not all the threads are about having children. But it’s called MUMSnet. How did childless people even find the site??

Via Google I expect - if you search for Farrow and Ball paint or life in St Albans or whether chihuahuas make good pets you may find a Mumsnet link to a discussion comes up.

Love this thread 😝 I never answer the landlines mainly because nobody I know has the number. Even I don't know the number 🤣 So if it rings it must be spam.

I remember my ds aged 10 or so being absolutely gobsmacked when I threw an unopened letter in the bin. Like it was a world disaster 🤣 He still didn't get it even after I explained what junk mail is; he's still sticking rigidly to 'the rules' 20 years later!

@DrSbaitso @TheWayTheLightFalls I know. I was mocking the question.

What is cheap white bread?

Always see it people mention it on food threads 'a fish finger sandwich with cheap white bread!'
As some kind of indulgent treat.

Is is smart price bread? Or is it the warburtons I eat on a daily basis? Is there a fancier everyday bread I should be using?

@RedBonnet

Love this thread 😝 I never answer the landlines mainly because nobody I know has the number. Even I don't know the number 🤣 So if it rings it must be spam.

I remember my ds aged 10 or so being absolutely gobsmacked when I threw an unopened letter in the bin. Like it was a world disaster 🤣 He still didn't get it even after I explained what junk mail is; he's still sticking rigidly to 'the rules' 20 years later!

If nobody you know has the number, why do you have the landline at all?

[quote UnsuitableHat]**@DrSbaitso* @TheWayTheLightFalls* I know. I was mocking the question.[/quote]
Oh, sorry.

I think the answer to the question about door answering is that a lot of people on MN probably don't work cos they all have very wealthy husbands who are far too important to lift a finger around the house.

Or maybe it's about boundaries. Because so many people on MN have absolutely none, they don't realise that they don't actually need to allow randoms their time or into their home.

Who knows.

Why is everyone always terrified of the "clique-y" school gate mums? And if everyone is terrified, who is in the clique?

Obv I am not being entirely serious.

It bugs the hell out of me when people on here complain that people who don't drive are always demanding lifts. I vanishingly rarely ask for a lift, and have even found myself in difficult positions occasionally when people were actively trying to make me accept lifts I didn't want or need. My definition of "walking distance" is a lot more than just down to the corner shop!

I know what you mean. Whilst it’s usually borne out of kindness, offers of lifts often come from people who can’t understand how anyone manages without a car - so they think they’re doing you a massive favour by saying ‘If you can wait until 2.30 I can give you a lift part of the way’, when actually you could have got the bus the whole way there and back in the time you spent waiting.

However, when it comes to opening the door, I normally like to open it if I can, so I'd just like to check: do you actively disagree with other people always answering the door, so long as they don't disagree with you for not opening it?

I don’t disagree with other people answering their door to whoever they want to whenever they want to; it’s their door! What annoys me is people who choose to do that suggesting that anyone who doesn’t is ‘weird’. It’s the lack of understanding that some people live differently to others. I know what the likelihood of a friend or neighbour ‘popping in’ would be (i.e. zero).

The traditional names ones comes up lots and the question I think has never been answered is 'why are lovers of traditional names so confident that their choice is better'? They arrogantly assume it just is.

What is the definition of a woman has obviously never been answered.

Who actually sets the rules of cleaning which many posters feel beholden to stick to?

What annoys me is people who choose to do that suggesting that anyone who doesn’t is ‘weird’. It’s the lack of understanding that some people live differently to others.

Well, I was once called "fucking weird" on here - not merely "weird", but actually "fucking" weird - because I've got a box of slippers that I offer to guests in my shoeless house. I know not everyone has a shoeless house, but I have, so in that context, it didn't seem "fucking weird" to me. Actually, it struck me as strange that someone would think it was "fucking weird". So I think I get where you're coming from. (Yes, I wash them between guests, even during a stay if it's a long one and the guest requests it. No, it's not an impossibly arduous task. No, nobody has ever caught any kind of foot infection from using them, just as I haven't from any other household that does the same thing.)

But I do think it's a bit odd to have a policy of not answering the door as standard, especially when it's overwhelmingly more likely to be a delivery you've forgotten about, or a surprise one, than anything nefarious. It doesn't offend or annoy me (though it probably would if I were your postie or local courier); you can do what you like in your house. But I guess I just can't see why you'd deliberately engineer unnecessary inconvenience that might mean you have to go out to the parcel depot or arrange a redelivery that you might well end up ignoring too.

But like I said, I'm not bothered about saying no thank you to cold callers. Are they even very common these days? I can't remember the last time I had one. They seem to put leaflets through the door now.

Oh, and yes, I do only offer the slippers. Nobody has to use them.

Oh, AND - the "yes I wash them" etc isn't directed at @WomanStanleyWoman, just anyone who's reading it and about to fire a load of silly and very answerable questions about it because it's not something they choose to do.

I'd like to know how MNers acquire ESP as I've been here almost 20 years and mine still hasn't arrived.

An OP says something, and the minute someone disagrees, ANother pops up and tells us what the OP meant, what they were doing, where they were going and how the other party was clearly being U. Almost as if they were sockpuppeting present at the scene of the crime.

Nicknames- unless you call your son Pudsey when his given name is Albert and you do it from day 1, nicknames are self-generating. They're like those animals that have sex with themselves to reproduce. No amount of MN threads asking "is Caro a suitable nickname for Rebecca" will make it happen.

The door thing is bonkers.
I didn't think I knew anyone irl who did it until I was in a postal secret Santa with some old friends and I got a "D hasn't received her present, did you send it to the right address?" message.
Transpires D doesn't accept packages ADDRESSED TO HERSELF AT HER ADDRESS yet wants to participate in a fucking postal SS.

I always think the people who don't answer the door just have difficulty being assertive, I open the door because I'm very nosey and can't stand not knowing who knocked. If it's someone I don't wish to engage with (we have local JWs), I just tell them I'm busy/not interested/have no intention of ever voting for their political party (and why), but some people find that awkward/uncomfortable so it's easier to avoid the situation.
I had an unexpected knock last year, it was the fire brigade asking if there was a way to gain access to my neighbour's via our garden as her family were worried she couldn't be contacted and the front door is like fort Knox, turned out she'd had a fall and had been lying there for two days. If I hadn't been there they would've had to find another way, but I was and would've felt awful if I'd ignored the door and she'd been left there even longer.

If people have irritating neighbours, there is always a suggestion that the OP should 'just move'. As though packing up and selling your house and finding, buying and moving into another house can be easily accomplished in a few days or something.

@JurgensCakeBabyJesus

I always think the people who don't answer the door just have difficulty being assertive, I open the door because I'm very nosey and can't stand not knowing who knocked. If it's someone I don't wish to engage with (we have local JWs), I just tell them I'm busy/not interested/have no intention of ever voting for their political party (and why), but some people find that awkward/uncomfortable so it's easier to avoid the situation. I had an unexpected knock last year, it was the fire brigade asking if there was a way to gain access to my neighbour's via our garden as her family were worried she couldn't be contacted and the front door is like fort Knox, turned out she'd had a fall and had been lying there for two days. If I hadn't been there they would've had to find another way, but I was and would've felt awful if I'd ignored the door and she'd been left there even longer.

You make it sound like you can't get over how awful it would be for not answering the door, but you don't seem to feel bad that your neighbour had been lying there for 2 days already?!

You make it sound like you can't get over how awful it would be for not answering the door, but you don't seem to feel bad that your neighbour had been lying there for 2 days already?!

How was she supposed to know that? Do you speak to your neighbours every day?

I’m also always amazed by the number of people who expect others to plan for a life they don’t have - i.e. ‘Oh, it’s all very well not being able to drive if you live in London, but what would you do if you lived in a tiny rural village or a little market town? It’s so limiting!’ Why, given I can’t drive, would I move somewhere like that? Didn’t it occur to them that I might have factored it into my choice of location?

You've not convinced me with this answer! The main reason being that I can only assume that many people who live in London really don't realise the lack of public transport even in other cities. You don't have to move to a remote, rural location to find yourself without decent public transport in this country. I live in a city and I can't use public transport to get to my workplace, my daughter's nursery or my in-laws'.

At the age of 17, when most people learn to drive, you don't know what your future holds and where you might end up living. It would seem like a sensible skill to 'bag' when there's no pressure, as learning when you're older is harder.

I don't answer the door ever unless I am expecting a delivery, simply because I don't want to 😁

I'd like to know how MNers acquire ESP as I've been here almost 20 years and mine still hasn't arrived.

I've mentioned that I get Botox, minimum dose once a year or so. I'm always immediately told that I look like a spoon with hair, that EVERYONE can tell, that I'm completely frozen, that I look dreadful and hideous and that I'm a terrible human being.

Most people have to at least see me once to know all that...

@LaChanticleer

What are your unanswered questions?

Why do people want "unique" names for their offspring? (are they channelling Kath & Kim?) And in looking for such a name, why oh why do people give their children a name pronounced like the face cream Nivea (although spelled differently)?

I post this question on every one of those "AIBU to call my baby zacaryianist, pronounced Siobhan" threads, but it's always an unpopular question

I think there have been plenty of answers to the question of why people don't want mundane names for their kids. I don't think this is a good example at all.

The question of why people can't understand the answers because it's now how they think - now that's a good one!

You make it sound like you can't get over how awful it would be for not answering the door, but you don't seem to feel bad that your neighbour had been lying there for 2 days already?!

It also occurs to me that if the neighbour was known for not answering her door even when she's home, people who did try knocking in those two days might not have seen it as cause for alarm.