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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask if your partner didn’t get you anything for Christmas?

74 replies

Merryoldgoat · 26/12/2021 19:02

Can I ask the people whose partners bought them nothing for Christmas what the reason was?

Lack of funds?
Lack of effort?
Prior agreement not to buy gift?
Did you also not buy them anything?
Was it expected or unexpected?

OP posts:
GlumyGloomer · 26/12/2021 19:07

Not this year but in previous years we've agreed not to do gifts for each other due to money being tight. This year we had a £20 budget, and I have to be honest I absolutely loved getting something to unwrap.

LegoLady95 · 26/12/2021 19:07

We have not bought for each other in the past, usually due to not having lots of spare cash, but we always agreed to both not buy for each other.

Lukeaway · 26/12/2021 19:12

No gift
Plenty money
I bought him a gift
He claimed it was because “we had not discussed buying gifts”
Mildly pissed off
Didn’t let it ruin the day
Will guilt him into paying for a spa weekend for me and my cousin which would be infinitely better than his crap taste in gifts so it’s a win win really

Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 26/12/2021 19:12

I certainly have been in the position not to buy owing to cash so totally understand that.

I’m just curious as there are so many it seems where presents aren’t a part of the day for them.

OP posts:
Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 26/12/2021 19:13

@Lukeaway

Doesn’t it disappoint you that he needs to be guilted into a gift?

OP posts:
LoannaJumley · 26/12/2021 19:15

We never buy presents because it's a 'certain day' we'll buy things as and when we need them.

Crunchymum · 26/12/2021 19:17

No gifts to or from DP this year.
Pre-agreed.
Partly financial and partly laziness. We've both been so busy up until Xmas eve that it was easier to agree not to do gifts.
Not at all disappointed.

Lukeaway · 26/12/2021 19:19

No, his dad had a stroke and he’s been caring for him most evenings, So he hasn’t had much spare time and he’s generally disorganised even when he does material gifts don’t = love in our home although I would have liked something to unwrap for the kids sake. He also buys terrible presents (tickets to things I don’t like etc) because he is disorganised and panic buys. I’m good with current situation, it’s not ideal but He has many many redeeming qualities and no one is perfect :) would it upset you?

Noln · 26/12/2021 19:20

No. Prior agreement though. We just focus on the kids and family.

Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 26/12/2021 19:23

It would upset me if we hadn’t agreed prior and we had the means.

But my DH has always been good at gifts.

I just find the number of posters who seem not to have gifts strange as I’ll bet most of them bought for the partner in question and other family so they end up sitting there with nothing.

I can’t fathom DH not getting me a gift without there being a really really good reason.

OP posts:
Bellsandsnow · 26/12/2021 19:23

Never do. Don't feel the need.

Thesearmsofmine · 26/12/2021 19:23

Lack of funds but it’s by prior agreement. He buys me flowers or books or whatever randomly through the year which I prefer anyway 🥰

Mouk · 26/12/2021 19:25

We've agreed never to buy for each other. No need. Christmas is for kids.

Lolld · 26/12/2021 19:25

No. But agreed in advance and we're both happy with the arrangement. Presents are just not that important to us, but we do enjoy other Christmas traditions like going for a walk, nice food, decorating the tree, collecting holly.

Mummyslittlegiraffe · 26/12/2021 19:26

No presents, pre agreed and haven’t done so for a while. We both value doing things together more than stuff. Pre covid we usually ski the week before or after Christmas which would be our present to ourselves.

RufustheFloralmissingreindeer · 26/12/2021 19:27

Prior agreement not to buy presents, we've done it for years now

Probably even 10+ years 🤔

bloodywhitecat · 26/12/2021 19:27

He would've if he could've but a massive stroke 5 weeks ago robbed him of the ability to speak, use his right side, text or stand so I'll let him off...this time Wink.

RufustheFloralmissingreindeer · 26/12/2021 19:28

Sorry to hear that bloodywhitecat 💐

EmoIsntDead · 26/12/2021 19:29

Prior agreement. We both buy what we want throughout the year anyway. My bday is just before Xmas and his is right after so we do buy bday gifts.

minipie · 26/12/2021 19:30

Prior agreement.

We are both fussy and there is nothing much we want or need so the chance of any gift hitting the spot is small.

(Technically we do token gifts - I got bars of chocolate from DH, DH got a panettone from me.)

FastnetLundyRockall · 26/12/2021 19:31

Covid. He got me excellent birthday presents earlier this year so he's forgiven.

Bluntness100 · 26/12/2021 19:32

@Thesearmsofmine

Lack of funds but it’s by prior agreement. He buys me flowers or books or whatever randomly through the year which I prefer anyway 🥰
It’s not either or though is it?
Cavagirl · 26/12/2021 19:33

No gifts at all this year! DP & I stopped a few years back but has also spread to the adults now, all prior agreement.
No DC so we only bought for nieces/nephews/godchildren.
No gifts from or for adults (other than the odd jar of something homemade or a bottle).

We are in a lucky position that we can afford what we need. If there is something nice I see that DP would like in the year, I'd get it for him then. I don't need something to unwrap on Christmas Day, it feels like buying for the sake of it to me. Don't begrudge others doing it differently of course and I would be extremely pissed off if none of it was prior agreed!!

user1471481356 · 26/12/2021 19:33

He just can’t be bothered. The last couple years he’s not even said happy birthday to me, let alone a gift. I still buy for him, always have, but now I do it because I don’t want my children thinking it’s all about them, I want them to grow up knowing that everyone is equally as important. But also it’s really really shit to never ever get a present,and I can’t do that to him.

AlistairCamel · 26/12/2021 19:34

We would rather spend the money on our children for Christmas and treat each other other times.