Hi all knowing Mumsnetters
I'm wondering if I'm being unreasonable regarding DS17 and car insurance.
Bit of background - DS17 lives 99% of the time with me, visiting his Dad occasionally overnight (this has gone from once EOW for a good number of years when DS was younger, to nil over the last 2-3 years as DS truly saw who his Dad was as a person and didn't like it much, to once every few weeks as DS has started working for his Dad (I could write a whole other thread on this but DS views it as due to the fact that his Dad only pays £14/week maintenance as he's self employed and can basically declare whatever he likes, it's a way of getting some money out of his Dad in a job that he does quite like) and some shifts start early or finish late.
DS has been learning to drive, both with an instructor (which DS pays for mainly but with me helping him out if he's short for whatever reason) and in my car, for which I pay quite a hefty sum as it's a new car and he's on a provisional licence. He has a practical test booked for mid Jan which could go either way due to DS being a little too over confident but generally a pretty safe driver.
Now, here's the problem - DS's Dad has acquired (someone he knows was upgrading so he got it cheap, but whatever, it is still very generous) a car for DS for Christmas. It's old but pretty reasonable for a first car (originally, his Dad wanted to get him something much too big and powerful for a new driver which would have cost £8000+ to insure until I stepped in and said no). He has arranged MOT, tax and recovery and the vehicle is insured for drivers with a full driving licence through his business vehicle insurance. DS's Dad has asked that I research insurance (he has offered to pay half) for DS to be able to drive the car whilst learning with me in the vehicle as he's here the majority of the time. I've currently not got the headspace for this as I work full time 12 hour nights with very little in the way of back-up. I have asked that ExH sorts out insurance as it isn't fair that his gift puts more work and responsibility onto me and potentially costs me, although he has said he will reimburse me.
DS is really excited about this and I can see that it is a really generous gift for a 17yr old. Obviously, he wants to bring the car home and start practicing in it once it is insured but I feel that I have already arranged for insurance for him on a (my) car and already giving quite a lot of time supervising him. I have asked that the car remains at his Dad's until he passes his test and is properly insured.
ExH has said I am unreasonable for not wanting to sort more insurance out on a car I have had nothing to do with the purchase of because "he lives with you". We also got into a bit of a heated discussion, (although not an argument as I will not be drawn into a slanging match, I've been doing the single parent thing for 15 years, I'm way past arguments) because I only have 1 space to park on my drive and ExH thinks the DS's car should be parked on the drive and mine on the road so that I'm not having to move 2 cars about to get on and off my drive.
I'm really trying to be gracious and grateful on DS's behalf but can't help but feeling his gift to DS should not adversely impact my life so much. I have explained that it will be at least the first week of January before I have the time to look at insurance properly which is potentially only 2 weeks away from DS's test!
Sorry about the jumbled thoughts, this is how my life is working nights and waking up to problems which I haven't brought on myself!!
Thanks for reading and Happy Boxing Day!! 