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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at (awful) photos of me on someone else's social media

66 replies

rugbysport · 26/12/2021 15:35

Sister in law has posted up our pre Christmas meal and has used awful photos of me that I wouldn't have even kept in my camera roll let alone for the social media world to see. She's since removed them at my request and in her opinion they were nice pictures.

We get along very very well so not anything underhand but still really annoyed she put them on.

OP posts:
spotcheck · 26/12/2021 15:38

If it's a group shot, it's near impossible for everyone to look good simultaneously. Honestly, you are probably overthinking- I bet you don't look anywhere near as bad as you think you do
☺️

JohnSmithDrive · 26/12/2021 15:38

I run, there are loads of terrible photos of me all over the place. I've never asked anyone to take one down.

BlackberrySky · 26/12/2021 15:38

I don't understand the issue. Your SIL posted some photos she thought were nice. You disagreed and asked her to remove them, which she did. Move on.

spotcheck · 26/12/2021 15:38

PS
If you are tagged, can you not just untag yourself?

PurBal · 26/12/2021 15:39

I don’t understand why people post pictures of other people on social media. Don’t get me wrong, I used to do it when social media was in its infancy. But I thought we all understood privacy and internet safety now.

CremeEggThief · 26/12/2021 15:40

YABU to post this after it's been dealt with. You didn't like it, you complained and she put it right for you. What more do you want?🙄

HarrietSchulenberg · 26/12/2021 15:44

It can't be as bad as one that was put up of me about 10 years ago. A group shot of us at a uni reunion in the pub with me at the front, back to the camera but turning round and smiling. Face bit was OK but my top had slid up a couple of inches and my trousers down by the same, so it looked like my arse was hanging out. As if that wasn't bad enough, the lighting cast a shadow that looked like I was wearing a thong. I wasn't, I just had pale pants on that looked horribly like skin. I was too embarrassed to ask the person to take it down so just quietly untagged myself and wailed into a hanky.

MrsTimRiggins · 26/12/2021 15:46

I’m unsure as to what exactly the issue is? She posted photos she liked, you didn’t like them and said so, so she removed them. If she’d refused to remove them, then maybe you’d have reason to be upset but honestly this is just scraping for drama.

tapeandglue · 26/12/2021 15:49

It used to really upset me.

Now, I consider it as my good turn for womankind. Every time another woman sees a photo of me looking shit, I'm sure it makes her feel better about her own shit photos. If we normalise crap photos, it makes the Insta-perfect photos feel more fake and uncommon.

Do your bit for the sisterhood - look terrible online!

LittleRoundRobin · 26/12/2021 15:49

@MrsTimRiggins

I’m unsure as to what exactly the issue is? She posted photos she liked, you didn’t like them and said so, so she removed them. If she’d refused to remove them, then maybe you’d have reason to be upset but honestly this is just scraping for drama.
This^ @rugbysport What is your AIBU? Confused

Also, why were they terrible photos? She can only take a picture of you how you look. So in what way were they 'terrible?' Surely this is how you look?

ChicCroissant · 26/12/2021 15:52

Have you asked her to remove photos before OP? As others have said, she's done as you asked and you are still not happy so there seems to be a bit more to it than just the photos.

Original poster
rugbysport · 26/12/2021 15:52

I'm just (clearly unreasonably) stewing over it a bit. A couple of them were me on my own and it's strange as I had a feeling they may end up on social media and was half minded to pre empt and contact to say oh don't put any photos of me on.

You're all right this is first world issues, need to draw line and move on.

Doesn't help that the last couple of years have been no good for my waistline and this time of year is about the only time I have my photo taken anyway and I just hate it.

OP posts:
concernedalot · 26/12/2021 15:55

I would be annoyed. Normally when I post pics of other people I show them the photo and ask them if they are okay with me putting it on line. To me it's common courtesy to do that. To me it's similar to when someone video calls me out of the blue and i've got no make up on or not feeling/looking my best. It's sort of an invasion of privacy by posting pics of people when they haven't given permission for it

CounsellorTroi · 26/12/2021 15:57

Also, why were they terrible photos? She can only take a picture of you how you look. So in what way were they 'terrible?' Surely this is how you look?

Photos can be flattering or unflattering depending on many things, light,angle etc. If you’ve never had an unflattering picture taken you must either be very very beautiful or very very lucky!

Chely · 26/12/2021 16:05

Life's too short to be worrying about a crappy picture. I am the type not to be overly bothered by double chins and huge bags under my eyes, not in to make up or all that jazz. Sometimes I look alright and sometimes I don't but if a nice moment has been caught and shared I'm not going to ask someone to take it down or remove a tag of me.

Original poster
rugbysport · 26/12/2021 16:08

@Chely

Life's too short to be worrying about a crappy picture. I am the type not to be overly bothered by double chins and huge bags under my eyes, not in to make up or all that jazz. Sometimes I look alright and sometimes I don't but if a nice moment has been caught and shared I'm not going to ask someone to take it down or remove a tag of me.

So true. I need more of this general attitude in my life for next year.

OP posts:
Candleinthebreeze · 26/12/2021 16:12

Put the photos on here and let us judge :-)

Grapewrath · 26/12/2021 16:13

I am the least photogenic person on the planet. All my friends laugh about it because I look the worst in each group shot! Hopefully I’m not that hideous ok real life.
Don’t worry about it op I’m sure no one noticed

Oblomov21 · 26/12/2021 16:14

You should've asked to see them at the time, asked her not to post, and asked for more to be taken.

HollowTalk · 26/12/2021 16:15

Interesting to see so many unsupportive messages on one thread. The OP just wanted a bit of empathy and understanding. Seems like the Christmas spirit has left the site.

Sn0tnose · 26/12/2021 16:17

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. It’s really bloody rude to put photos of people on line without their permission.

PermanentTemporary · 26/12/2021 16:21

I hate any photos of me going online and don't post pics of other people so yanbu. But she wasn't exactly outside the norm - I just wish it wasn't the norm!

imnotacelebritygetmeoutofhere · 26/12/2021 16:22

@PurBal

I don’t understand why people post pictures of other people on social media. Don’t get me wrong, I used to do it when social media was in its infancy. But I thought we all understood privacy and internet safety now.
This with bells on!
Laiste · 26/12/2021 16:22

I know how you feel OP. I look like a bloody troll in 88.9% of all photos and YANBU to be miffed about unflattering photos of you being put online.

DH openly admits if i looked as bad in real life as i look in photos we wouldn't be together! ShockShockGrin

They're down now, so don't worry any more.

Did you feel like she picked shitty pics on purpose?

Laiste · 26/12/2021 16:23

88.9% ??? lol

oddly specific!

meant to say 99.9%