Boxing Day dread

[Orangecaryellowcar]

The worst day of the year has arrived. The annual 14-hour slog at the in laws. Arrived around 10, we leave about midnight. Every.single.year! I loathe it!
I am a massive introvert and would give anything to be on my sofa with films, books, and food. I’m not a mixer, I choose the people I mix with very carefully. I wouldn’t choose these. I do it for DH. Throw his kids (my SKs) into the mix and it’s pure pain!

Any advice on how to get through the next 12 hours?

@Orangecaryellowcar

I can’t just go home, If I could I would. It would be considered the height of rudeness.

I'd just have to live with being seen as rude then 🤷🏽‍♀️

If it is 10 minute drive, is it walkable?

I love the denouement of it only being a 10 minute drive away!

Let your partner go on his own next time to enjoy his family and children properly without you sulking all night you can be all on your own then if that's what you prefer.

@TuckItInYourHeart thanks for your judgmental comments. I hope you enjoy the company of in laws and step children.

Not judging you, I've just spent Christmas with my inlaws, its one of those things in life I'm afraid and I don't have stepchildren but I'd I did I would make every effort to spend time with them over Christmas after all they are his kids and they come before me. Why do you have a problem with his children?

Until you’re a stepmother I don’t think you’re in a position to make those comments. Nobody should come before anyone else, we’re all entitled to be valued. His children are adults.

I notice this thread is a few days old so my questions/advice are not really going to be relevant for this year but perhaps for next year or other get togethers.

I noticed a few things you said which possibly suggest you aren’t making your needs clear, which in turn is adding to your discomfort.

You mention you are really cold to us. Could you not say to your in-laws that you are cold? Surely they would turn the heating up if they knew? Alternatively (and I’ve done this when visiting people in a very old grand but freezing house) go and buy yourself some thermals and one of those thin but padded body warmers and some thick socks and wear those next year).

You also mention you are eating a pudding you don’t like because your MIL thinks you like it. Why don’t you just tell her you don’t really like it? If it’s too late for that, next year before the day, text them to say you’ve found this delicious new pudding you love, and you’ll bring some for everyone to try next year. Then when offered pudding say ‘ooh I might have a bit of that pudding I brought if that’s ok’.

You say you like the walk so carry that on, maybe even extend it if you can by telling everyone you will carry on a bit when they are ready to go back.

Definitely leave earlier than you are doing. Again mention before the event that you’ll head home earlier. ‘Hi MIL, I’m so looking forward to seeing you all on Boxing Day. Work has been crazy and I’m so looking forward to just relaxing with family. I might not stay too late this year as I’m trying to make sure I get a good amount of sleep at the moment. See you soon xxx’

I think sometimes it’s just finding nice ways to be assertive. That way you get what you need but no one is offended.

I have adult children and I’d be mortified if I thought their partners were suffering in silence but secretly wishing they could go home. Luckily both DDIL and DSIL get here, raid the fridge, adjust the hive heating and make themselves at home on the sofa . They also both go to bed whenever they feel like it, and go off for walks or runs whenever they want.