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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boxing Day dread

84 replies

Orangecaryellowcar · 26/12/2021 12:10

The worst day of the year has arrived. The annual 14-hour slog at the in laws. Arrived around 10, we leave about midnight. Every.single.year! I loathe it!
I am a massive introvert and would give anything to be on my sofa with films, books, and food. I’m not a mixer, I choose the people I mix with very carefully. I wouldn’t choose these. I do it for DH. Throw his kids (my SKs) into the mix and it’s pure pain!

Any advice on how to get through the next 12 hours?

OP posts:
itwasntaparty · 26/12/2021 17:00

Why on earth do you have to pay there so long? I wouldn't be driving either!

DickMabutt73962 · 26/12/2021 17:13

Why do you leave at midnight? I'd hate having someone in my home for that long

Original poster
Orangecaryellowcar · 26/12/2021 17:18

They are lovely people but ever so slightly strange and not like my family or upbringing at all.
I too would hate to host for such a long day, but it’s their tradition. Maybe MIL hates it too but she has her family around her so think she enjoys it. I’ve tried for years to get away early but have never succeeded. The leaving bit takes up to an hour to get out the door - by that time I am usually a bit grumpy!
I drive as I’m not much of a drinker anyway. It’s no loss really.
Tea now being set up, presents done.

OP posts:
Mydogmylife · 26/12/2021 17:27

Suck it up buttercup! It's one day, they aren't actively nasty folk and it's something you say your husband would do for you if asked .

HunterGatherer · 26/12/2021 17:35

Retrain as a nurse and work next boxing day? Grin

Seriously though, can't you talk to them and just say that you are an introvert and struggle with being there for so long. Then excuse yourself next year.

icedcoffees · 26/12/2021 17:42

Why do you have to stay so long and why on earth would your DH "sulk" if you wanted to do something else?

onemorerose · 26/12/2021 17:46

Do you have children with your DH?

Original poster
Orangecaryellowcar · 26/12/2021 17:47

I am sucking it up, I’m currently freezing, there’s football on TV (I’m not a football fan), adult stepson is being his usual incredibly selfish boastful self, DH is humouring him, I’m bored shitless and would give my teeth to be at home on my sofa watching last nights call the midwife! But I’m smiling and plotting how to not have to do this next year.

OP posts:
Original poster
Orangecaryellowcar · 26/12/2021 17:47

No children with DH of our own, his two children with us.

OP posts:
Original poster
Orangecaryellowcar · 26/12/2021 17:50

We stay so long because he always has. We live ten mins drive from in laws so it’s not even as if he never sees them!

OP posts:
Caspianberg · 26/12/2021 17:51

10 mins away? God why didn’t you just go home, spend 9 hrs doing what you like and then offer to drive back 10mins to collect them.

Wombat69 · 26/12/2021 17:54

Jeez, go home.

Original poster
Orangecaryellowcar · 26/12/2021 17:54

I can’t just go home, If I could I would. It would be considered the height of rudeness.

OP posts:
onemorerose · 26/12/2021 17:56

10 mins away and no children of your own there, I’d be gone already. Get onto your own sofa in your comfies.

onemorerose · 26/12/2021 17:57

Just say you don’t feel well, sore stomach/diarrhoea

Original poster
Orangecaryellowcar · 26/12/2021 17:59

Honestly if it was easy as just going I wouldn’t have endured this every Boxing Day for years. It’s not that easy.
FIL now asleep, SS swearing at the football. I’m still freezing.

OP posts:
Atla · 26/12/2021 18:00

You've been there all day, just say you don't feel well and leave?

If it's once a year I'd probably suck it up and go and try to enjoy myself. If you don't want to, you need to talk to your DH about it well in advance next year, of or agree you'll go for a shorter period?

DaisyNGO · 26/12/2021 18:01

@Orangecaryellowcar

I can’t just go home, If I could I would. It would be considered the height of rudeness.
I'd just be rude.

DH can do this marathon day without you.

nellly · 26/12/2021 18:02

This is bonkers!! Grow a pair and go home Grin
Say you're poorly? Fake an emergency call from a friend?

madroid · 26/12/2021 18:08

It's not rude to say, I'm so sorry, I really don't feel well and need to go to bed. I've had a lovely day and I'm very sorry to cut it short but I must go.

irishfarmer · 26/12/2021 18:08

Not what you want to hear, but I got out of my in-laws today I like them but the whole day can be a bit boring and long. My BIL had a positive home test this morning so they cancelled the whole thing. :) Without him and family half the party wouldn't be there.

Haven't gotten out of my pjs all day.

Any nice food you can munch into?

Suzanne999 · 26/12/2021 18:12

Plan for next year.
Can you knit/crochet? Have a project on the go which really must be finished as it’s a special birthday gift / donation to a charity.
Start a course in September and you have to read chapters of this book as an assignment is due.
Theoretically take up online mentoring work and you really have to keep in constant touch with your mentoree ( is that even a word?) You can’t show anyone your phone of course as it’s confidential and you can read Mumsnet, shop online, watch a film using the subtitles.
Plan to go elsewhere. If you have the financial resources “win” a trip away over Christmas.

Suzanne999 · 26/12/2021 18:13

Give it an hour and fake a migraine.

Kittykat93 · 26/12/2021 18:13

Bloody hell op you've been there all day. Say you have a banging head and just go home. It's madness to stay until midnight, especially when you can't even have a few glasses of wine!

liveforsummer · 26/12/2021 18:19

It really is just as easy as going home. 'Sorry I feel quite unwell so going home for a lie down.'

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