To be really confused and ‘meh’ by these gifts

[Postyisalwaystired]

I know this sounds spoilt. It’s more that I’m confused more than anything. Bought my mum a lovely necklace, her favourite chocolates and fudge, a key ring from my DS and lots of other personalised things. I was given a small foot stool (?), a throw for my sofa and a wax melt burner. I feel a bit gutted as my sister got a brand new camera plus lots of other nice bits. I just feel like no thought went into the gifts for me? I’m 26... these gifts seem a bit odd. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, just confused

You don’t need random strangers to validate your feelings of being disappointed with a gift. Nor do you need random strangers telling you you’re being ungrateful.
I’d be a bit annoyed if my sister (who also has no kids) got a brand new camera and I just got a few random bits. My mum always asks exactly what we would like and it’s usually money so we can buy something ourselves or (usually) pay bills.

I would much prefer the gifts you received to the ones you gave her, tbh.

Me too. And I would have no use for a camera - my phone has a good camera, and I carry it all the time.

Nah I agree foot stool is weird (I'm also in my 20s) unless it's a very specific piece of furniture I wanted I wouldn't want my mum to buy furniture for my house. Blanket and wax melt fairly standard gifts so I wouldn't mind too much. But a bit impersonal.

I think they sound like nice gifts, ones that you will likely use often. I honestly wouldn’t get too hung up on it. Does she help you in other ways? My mum buys me very modest small Christmas gifts every year but has always helped me through my adult life, be that with a contribution to a house deposit or childcare here and there. I get her generous presents to show my appreciation for all she has done for me. I don’t expect equal presents.

@Helpstopthepain

She’s recently read about hygge and thought that you needed items to help you relax maybe?

I think it's that. Your mum want to help you feel relaxed.

My mum once gave me a dustbin, because we needed a new one, but with money attached.
I was happy with that.

Meh I'd feel the same especially at 26?

I'd be very meh to get a footstool and blanket she 26 if my DSis got a camera.

Do you earn more money than DSis or something like that

You haven't given enough info op. Was it an expensive throw or a fleece abomination? Was the footstool last used by little miss muffet or a mid century one which cost £300 from eBay?

Did you ask for any presents?

Does your Mum usually get it right or are her presents a yearly let down?

What would you have liked for your gift? I think as long as the items are attractive and fit in with the decor I think they are pretty cool

Does you DM ask you what you'd like? Do you tell her about your hobbies, etc.

Maybe she thinks your main interest is home improvements? Otherwise IDK...

I'm usually one who thinks you shouldn't complain/moan (even privately) about presents. But I'm very lucky to have family who buy well thought out presents.* That doesn't seem to be the case here.

Its all very well other posters saying they'd like the presents, but OP doesn't. They aren't things she wants or likes. I neither want, need or have space for a footstool. I have throws and blankets for the sofa and have no sense of smell so wouldn't want a wax burner.
Surely your parents should know you well enough to not buy things you don't want. (FWIW my mum got me a book, a ball of yarn and an individual portion of lucky charms because they were my favourite cereal as a child. Nothing overly expensive. But all things I love )

*Actually my ex used to buy me cheap bath sets and jewellery. I'm allergic to most bath stuff and don't wear jewellery. He should, imo, have known me well enough to know that. But he was also a nasty abusive bastard so actually what did I expect!

I agree they are shit presents.

Does she watch teleshopping channels? One of the years where my gifts were particularly odd, it turned out DM had bought them all BOGOF from a TV shopping channel - they were stuff SIL liked and I got the "one free" of everything. SIL gave her grandchildren and takes the hit of visiting more frequently so I couldn't begrudge it!

@mam0918

Also, my gift from my mam this Xmas is a suprise cleaning hamper... I avoid cleaning like the plague if I can.

Ouch! Christmas is the wrong time to be giving such a strong hint like that!

Is it not a gift saying ‘put your feet up and relax’, kind of acknowledging how busy you are and need a rest? Or am I reading too much into it?

Was this a £70 camera or a £500 one? Context is everything @Postyisalwaystired

Gift buying a bit hit and miss really isn't it? Unless we KNOW someone wants something, should be really bother buying it? There was a poster on here a few days ago, moaning about the gift her DP had got her, and it was a telescope.

Personally I'd have loved that, but it's a very odd thing to buy for someone if they haven't expressed an interest in having one.

Everyone should be forced to spend under a tenner, so no-one can get shit presents that were a bit costly, and no-one ends up spending loads on people.

This is why I hate gift giving I just give out vouchers as noone is disappointed and they can buy their own gifts. I don't care if people are snobby about it wasted so many years already worrying about whether someone liked a gift.

I think your presents sound fine and would total £100-£200 at a guess? Perhaps just not your taste?
A camera is more of a random gift so I assume she specifically asked for it?

@Divebar2021

A foot stool??? What person in their 20’s wants that?? She’s not a nana. Did you actually ask for anything or give any suggestions? I’m guessing your sister asked for a camera.

Depends on the foot stool. If it's pretty enough, a lot of us! However, I wouldn't use it. It's just there to look nice.

I'd love those presents!

I love things that are useful and I can use and always remember they were Xmas presents when I use them daily.

But I also know many in MN don't agree with useful stuff for Xmas!!!

I guess everyone's different in how they gift and what they wanted gifted to them?

[quote PizzaCrust]@mam0918

For the love of god get it reupholstered at least, brown corduroy in home furnishings belongs only in the pit of hell 😅[/quote]
its DH, one of the few things he brought from home and it 'reminds him of childhood' so I'm stuck with it in all its shit brown glory (+ side it doesn't show stains from the 3 kids and it had EVERYTHING smeared on it at some point... I think its mostly disinfectant at this point lol).

Looking at what other people get and feeling jealous and hurt is a complete waste of time and energy. Next year tell people exactly what you’d like for Christmas or buy yourself what you really want and if you get anything else it’s a fun bonus. If you feel like you try harder and no one else does then step back.

@mam0918

A bit off topic but a footstool is the easiest thing to reupholster - just buy a square of fabric and a staple gun. Wrap the stool and fold the corners nicely and staple underneath. I do ours all the time because the dogs like to nap on it or use it to climb up onto the sofa. I don't think we humans ever use it

So what would you think if you received a 1950s Bayko building set from your DH? Would you be upset? Answers on a SAE please.