Why are so many parents/children upset today regarding presents?

[Joinedforthis2021]

Quite a few threads already about parents being upset with the reaction of their children when opening presents.

Im intrigued what the root cause of this is?

Society pressures?

Parents wanting to go the extra mile on trying to make it extra special?

Please just remember it's one day.. Aslobg as we have good health..what does it matter? Please don't stress and try and enjoy the day.

@Tal45

People think having a child with ASD must be difficult but mine's a dream, lego every year for as long as I can remember for birthday and Christmas and he's as happy as Larry.

Mine’s the same, doesn’t give a toss what his mates have got and joyous over really small things. I got him a £10 magnetic fidget cube as a random stocking filler and he hasn’t put it down all morning, keeps showing me the shapes it can make.

@Lockheart so sorry to hear about your Dad

My ds went really really quiet when he opened his main present from me & dh I thought I’d got it wrong and had a moment of intense dread - but he was actually so shocked he couldn’t think of anything to say to me…

My other child on the other hand nothing is ever good enough and I’ve had lots of huffing & puffing over the stocking…we’ve had a chat this morning the attitude we’ve had recently.

Disappointment is a natural human emotion. It’s not something you can stop. I don’t think being disappointed makes you ungrateful. It’s how you deal with and express your disappointment that does that. Children find it hard to disguise their emotions, so I wouldn’t necessarily upset with my child if they showed disappointment. I would acknowledge it and help them deal with it and move on.

Adults on the other hand need to grow up and bit.

My DS acted like a total fucking brat one year and it really upset me. Chose to talk to him about it throughout the year and educate him on how lucky he was and how lucky I was as a parent to be able to afford him nice gifts and stuff. Didn't put any pressure on it. The next year he opened his presents very graciously and really appreciated it all. He's lovely at gifts now!

My DD (18months) got so many lovely presents and is currently running around with a pair of leggings on her head 😂 I think kids follow their parents lead, if you look dissatisfied with gifts, so will they!

There's a huge build up to Christmas now. It's not unusual to feel overwhelmed.

@Dentistlakes
This is a really good point. So many threads on here are from people who can’t express their disappointment and harbour up resentment for years. I know that I used to be like that, and still am to an extent but working on it. It’s okay to feel disappointed about something, and express it if possible, but important to not let it take over the whole day.

My adult DC just opened their stockings and were delighted with them (even though there wasn't much in them this year).

My mum used to really build up Christmas. I would get massively over-excited beforehand, and always disappointed on the day. After Christmas day I usually decided I liked my presents after all. But nothing could live up to the massive build up.

I had 2 small upsets today - one was because DS2 wasn't as excited about one of his presents as I thought he might be - but then I've realised that he should have got it nearly 2 years ago, at Easter, because it's been at my Dad's in the UK for that long (Amazon UK) and we haven't been able to get there to collect it. It was sent to me for this Christmas, and I guess he's just outgrown that toy type now :(

The other was my present from DH - but I'm used to him buying me shit (or nothing) so I'd made sure I had lots of nice things from Santa . I still think a $13 cheap costume jewellery necklace that is nothing like anything I would normally wear denotes a total lack of thought though (it's not a money issue - if it had been a NICE costume jewellery necklace I wouldn't have minded!)

Other than that, kids have been very happy with what they got today, which is lovely.

@Lockheart . I'm so sorry about your dad .Take care of yourself 💐

I'm delighted with my posh bottle of pop and quality street from the consultants at work. Only gift I get but it's juuuuuust right.

Three teens happily making Lego here. Tis the best gift ever!

DS(16) is shocked we got him stuff other than the money. He's very grateful - even for the jokey ones.

My dad died on Thursday so it's more subdued this year, but we're still going out for our curry.

@ProudThrilledHappy I got DD a 'rubiks cube' from primark for a pound- she loves it! It's always the small things that they seem to enjoy the most!

Which thread was blaming the teachers?

@parrotonmyshoulder (above post)

Had an amusing moment when DD9s present (basket ball hoop on stand) was hiding in DSS15 room. She went in, gestured to it and whispered, 'I didn't know he had a basket ball hoop in his room.' Then walked out. She thought it belonged to him and had been there the whole week and not noticed 🤦🏻‍♀️😆. Its been a good present as they've both been playing with it today.

My best present this year (to be fair I only had 2 and Id chosen them) was the reaction of my DSes. They were happy through to thrilled with every single gift. I'd gone simple but thoughtful this year. Fewer presents, not expensive presents, but very targeted.

Initially Id done this because we also finally gave in to their begging to get a cat and we emphasised that this costs money. However I will now continue the parring down of presents and getting no filler ones.

For children - it's understandable (they're children so don't know any better).

For adults - really weird. It's like they never grew out of the phase. Not exactly surprising when you consider how this practice is upheld from childhood till...

I am sure I was often disappointed with presents in my childhood and teens. I'm also certain I wasn't damn fool enough to express the sort of ingratitude that's been detailed on here this morning, as far from berating themselves that the £120 here and £300 there (!!!) offerings didn't pass muster, my parents would have been far more likely to remove the offending items along with all other gifts, permanently.

My 4yo got one present as we are away. And was so happy. Took it to the mall and book store with us. We r currently in the middle East visiting family so everything is open. No complaints here. And no mention of the fact that her exhaustive list to Santa had not materialised. Proud of her actually.

We were also treated yearly to my grandmother (who grew up in a big Victorian family with an abusive father and thus little money) giving us her yearly sermon on how they all had "an orange and a penny and a penny toy and thought themselves lucky"

I think we found this so horrifying that our presents shone by comparison (and she was v generous )

Lucky they got anything at all.