Why are so many parents/children upset today regarding presents?

[Joinedforthis2021]

Quite a few threads already about parents being upset with the reaction of their children when opening presents.

Im intrigued what the root cause of this is?

Society pressures?

Parents wanting to go the extra mile on trying to make it extra special?

Please just remember it's one day.. Aslobg as we have good health..what does it matter? Please don't stress and try and enjoy the day.

I think my most disappointing Christmas was when my first was 2. I was so looking forward to him seeing all his presents when he spotted a tin of chocolate fingers his great aunt sent, he spent the whole day with a chocolatey face and a tin of biscuits under his arm and had no interest in anything else. Boxing Day was fun though.

We haven't had much this year. Mainly due to an insane vets bill in October. The kids knew this and would rather have a happy healthy cat than anything else. They have been so grateful for what they did get and made really thoughtful gifts for me and DH. I feel really lucky that we have such lovely children. I can see why people would be upset their kids are ungrateful but I think they are just as bad posting about their less than perfect Christmas.

I think there is one present dd doesn’t like but only because it is obvious to me as her mum. I’m ok with that though 🤷‍♀️ The expectation we put on our children to be thrilled regardless is what has led to me looking like Chandler Bing taking a photograph every time I open a present.

Meh, the food, relaxing and laughing is what today is about!

DD (11) is very happy with her gifts. Her main present was a trip to Harry Potter last weekend and she loved it. She was so surprised that there were tree gifts too after that.

We usually get things needed, so we restocked her art materials and sketch pads, some new clothes, jewellery making things (a hobby she got into during lockdown) and sweets!

We usually spend Christmas playing board games, eating nice snacky foods and watching movies so always low pressure after the year we no longer discuss (MIL encouraged opening of santa gifts while i was preparing food, complained about lots and it was a very cross day). I no longer even do a full lunch we just eat whatever we fancy which is roast beef sandwiches and party food this year.

I think the insta perfect Christmas had invaded life and we have worked hard to remind DD that life is not a YouTube video!

For the first time ever my 10 year old autistic dd has opened a couple of her presents. One of her gifts is from her 17 year old brother and she genuinely loves it ( a white fluffy teddy coat). It’s been a really lovely morning!

@TheUndoingProject

I imagine people who are having marvellous Christmases with rosey cheeked grateful children aren’t posting on mumsnet about it…

My youngest is 13, my kids are ash on their rooms now. I'm lounging on the sofa in my pjs and checking Mumsnet while my OH watched some Christmas care programme. This is the perfect day for us and everybody is happy we certainly aren't sitting around the tree singing carols with mulled wine and mince pies. It doesn't stop us being grateful though and taking five minutes to browse Mumsnet.

My son has spent all morning thanking me for his gifts and telling us he loves us. I’m most happy.

I only buy my children presents/toys at Christmas and on their Birthdays. Maybe too many children are given things throughout the year which takes away the gratitude. Just my opinion.

Amplified stress due to uncertainty.

@OneRingToRuleThemAll it is a game changer isn't it. My dd was smiling at her Pokemon gifts. Years past it would have been rigid jaw and snarky comments. Low key and casual all the way here.
Have a lovely day xx

My child has autism so Christmas can be a bit tricky as they can become overwhelmed incredibly quickly. This morning however was very chilled and although no emotion is shown I know I did good as they've disappeared off to play on their new switch and games with not a meltdown in sight

@2reefsin30knots

TBF there's a fair few adults here pissed off with their presents too!

I suppose 'my kids are thrilled' is not post-worthy.

Indeed Imagine lots of threads with op saying lovely Christmas, family all together, everyone loves all their gifts, we're going to have a great lunch, this is brilliant

Oh. My. God. The replies. Imagine them? My parents are dead, well lucky you, that's made me feel awful, stop boasting, what about all the people having an awful day ..

People don't seem to like happy posts detailing someone having plenty or a good time

Plus those having a great time with small kids and extended family are too busy having it to post.

I think people on all sides putting pressure on everything to be 'perfect' and 'magical'. Also [old lady mode] I do wonder if there's been a loss of emphasis on gratitude when so many have so much. My parents were very flush with cash when I was a kid, but they made it clear to me that I was very lucky and only spoiled kids demanded things - I never would have dared ask for or 'expect' something pricey even though my parents could have afforded it (though this is not to say I didn't get lovely stuff). And when times got tight in my tweens/early teens it meant I appreciated what their limits were. I do think sometimes parents feel pressured to push it when they can't afford it, rather than say to kids 'Things are tough this year and we're all going to have less'.

DS13 and DH absolutely thrilled with their gifts, as they should be - I spend hours and hours carefully selecting things they will love, usually with a couple of requests from DS and just by paying attention to DH and knowing what he likes. What I am annoyed about is a DH who does not reciprocate. I say it every single year and despite being given a list this year I am still disappointed. It isn't about money, although that isn't an issue, it's the lack of thought that pisses me off. Things like I asked for a new hoodie, the two I have are fit for the bin. I held off buying one for myself. I do not have a new hoodie this Christmas, so will buy my own anyway. It was top of the list, along with some jogging bottoms, which I don't have either, or the shampoo and conditioner which I have also held off buying. I wonder why I waste so much time, which I have little of in the run up to Christmas due to work.

DS2 (17) and DS3 (11) are delighted with their gifts. Very mixed response from DS1 (19), I've told him from now onwards I will only buy what he has specifically sent me a link to and that he needs to grow up, man up and show some gratitude. He's gone back to bed, after I told him off and reminded him that everything was selected with care, thought, consideration and love. I suspect he'll be down for the turkey later but he will need to apologise to his brothers for his grumpiness first. He doesn't cope well with surprises but that is no excuse for rudeness. I'm not going to let it spoil our day.

Ikr. I’m happy with all the cool stuff my parents got me, a lot of it is the modern way of not being able to say no to their kids…. I see it with my own eyes

Only once was I unhappy with my gift. I desperately wanted a CD player and I received a typewriter. I had no wish for one and I was too young to hide my disappointment. My Mum was angry but I was like I asked for a CD player not what you thought I should want / have! Blew over quickly though.

Oh bugger wrong thread I'm sorry 😲

Well, I am annoyed with myself but DCs have been brilliant this year, they knew we were having a smaller Christmas and I bought them what they asked for, which wasnt loads. Unfortunately, I did not think to check the correct size had been sent for a branded tracksuit DS wanted (it was his main present) and they have sent a really small one-he is 15, this would fit a 5 year old. I am mortified, DS thinks its hilarious and has managed to wheedle XBox ultimate Game pass out of me because I felt so guilty!
But he will live and will tease me relentlessly all day, so at least there will be a few laughs!

Mine are actually really happy with all their gifts this year ( there were no filler presents this year.).

I think when DC get a little bit older (tweens, teens) Christmas is never going to have the same magic and excitement it did when they were little and although they are hopefully happy with their gifts it's not the intense joy of a few years back.

I would say YouTube had alot to play as well as there are a few family's that go crazy and then post about. My kids were very happy with what they all got even my 14 year old boy who got a football barbie as a joke present is now next to his Xbox whilst he plays fifa

I think it's just that people don't post on mumsnet to say "yep, that went fine". They post when they're upset and need to vent privately.

Same on pregnancy and relationship boards. People don't post to say "yep, all well, feel fine, no problems here." They only post to get support when things don't go as hoped. It gives the impression that it's a miracle anybody ever has a baby/has a relationship at all!

DD2 and DS4 both happy with their slippers and books but SS12 very unhappy with his £50 and is currently crying in his room texting his mum.

DH is really upset because we haven't had the greatest year and we've done the best we could given our circumstances.

The whole 'it's not what you get, it's who you're with' is really hard to ingrain in a child who is manipulated with money instead of love 😞