Page 2 | To not give free stuff to people who can’t even say please

Iwasintoyou · 2021-12-22T15:26:28+00:00

Giving away some free items brand new but thought as it was near christmas I would help people out. Woman commented is this available. I said yes she then said I can pick up tonight. Aibu to not want to give it to her dh thinks I am personally think please doesn’t cost anything and makes a difference.

hiredandsqueak · 22/12/2021 17:01

I give stuff away to the first person to use please on Facebook regardless as to who asked first. I can't abide rudeness.

BlusteryLake · 22/12/2021 17:06

When I give things away for free, I offer it to the person I think is most likely to pick it up when arranged. In my experience this is people who are local, polite and have expressed a small amount of interest by writing a short note.

mam0918 · 22/12/2021 17:14

While a 'please' and 'thank you' is polite as others have said its an automated message used by Facebook and many people who are stressed in a rush at this time of year is just trying to ascertain the fact first.

I bought something the other day and the text convocation was purely logistics but we were both polite and friendly at the exchange, been the same every time I have sold an item too.

I see this scenario 2 ways:

most of the free stuff where I live is obviously people trying to avoid huge haulage costs to get rid of the item (Garden sod, old fences/gates, old sofas, old bed frames etc... worth nothing). If they are helping you out by taking something you need rid of without costing you money they don't need to throw yourself at their feet and beg.
You are lucky enough to be in a position of giving something worth money away because you can afford to as a charity act. If you are doing it for this reason expecting anything back (even just to pick and choose people based on what you decide should be 'suitable' behavior) means your hearts are in the wrong place and you are only doing it to lord your power/privilege over others and make yourself feel better.

FangsForTheMemory · 22/12/2021 17:18

I wouldn't worry about please or thank you. If I advertise something, I want rid and am just glad if the person turns up to take it when they've said they will.

Lysianthus · 22/12/2021 17:19

@Icantfindmykeys

My Asda shop arrived with my Turkey. It was meant to be fresh but about a quarter of it is frozen solid. I tried explaining to their customer service who can’t grasp my concern. Am I right that I either have to freeze the whole thing now or it will go off if the part that is frozen is defrosted and sits in the fridge for 5 days. I thought you had to cook meat within 24hrs if it has defrosted?? I’ve 4 vulnerable adults to Christmas lunch and I’m frightened to chance it.

@Icantfindmykeys I have no idea sorry but you’re on the wrong thread.,

Whatiswrongwithmyknee · 22/12/2021 17:21

Saying please is not in any sensible way comparable to throwing yourself at someone's feet and begging. No-one it too busy to add on a 'please' to an automated reply.

Cyw2018 · 22/12/2021 17:24

Tried to give away a pair of really lovely DrMarten boots that needed resoling but didn't fit me comfortably after pregnancy... This is what followed...

I did manage to eventually give them to someone pleasant and capable of using basic manners.

To not give free stuff to people who can’t even say please

Alwayswonderedwhy · 22/12/2021 17:26

Yanbu. I've give away quite a few things I could've sold on fb. I never give people with no manners.

Muchmorethan · 22/12/2021 17:31

@Cyw2018

Tried to give away a pair of really lovely DrMarten boots that needed resoling but didn't fit me comfortably after pregnancy... This is what followed...

I did manage to eventually give them to someone pleasant and capable of using basic manners.

I'd report that person to FB

AlfonsoTheUnrepentant · 22/12/2021 17:36

@WhyMeLord

Not terribly polite but then again, if it was worth anything to you you wouldn’t be giving it away for free. Think of her as doing you a favour by taking the item off your hands at her own expense.

Personally I’d always say please but I think in this scenario it’s more hassle to you for the sake of teaching her a lesson ie saying no but still advertising it as available then others asking what’s going on then thinking you’re a mental for objecting to her “rudeness” I couldn’t be bothered with all that. I prioritise my easy life over almost all things.

if it was worth anything to you you wouldn’t be giving it away for free.

That whole post - and that comment in particular - is bizarre. People give things away all the time that have personal and / or monetary value.

Personally I’d always say please but I think in this scenario it’s more hassle to you for the sake of teaching her a lesson ie saying no but still advertising it as available then others asking what’s going on then thinking you’re a mental for objecting to her “rudeness” I couldn’t be bothered with all that.

This sentence is so garbled as to make no sense whatsoever.

Pegasushaswings · 22/12/2021 17:39

She probably won’t turn up anyway! Standard FB marketplace manners.

StrawberrySquash · 22/12/2021 17:40

'I can pick it up tonight' I just read as telling people they are available and not going to faff. A lot of people want stuff gone soon. It's not 'I will.'

Fredstheteds · 22/12/2021 17:42

We have a great exchange site. You might ask for a small item or not it’s up to you. 99% it works but there is the odd 1%...

trumpisagit · 22/12/2021 17:46

This is why I never put free. 50p or £1. Less frustrating when you get time wasters and you don't get the worst grabby people (who then don't turn up to collect).

LoveGrooveDanceParty · 22/12/2021 17:46

You are, of course, not being unreasonable x

DH puts a lot of stuff on freecycle, and the rude, ill-mannered people never even get a look in. That’s his first basis for culling, especially as quite often several people will be interested. Why would you opt to give it to some rude person?

KirstenBlest · 22/12/2021 17:47

@Suzanne999

100% agree with you. I offer stuff on local Freecycle and a polite please, thank you means that person gets offered my stuff.

Me too. Replies like 'Where do I pick it up' get no reply 'Give me this, I'm a single mum' don't either. Rude and using your kids to be grabby.

Duchess379 · 22/12/2021 17:49

I was giving away bedding a few weeks back. All in good condition, I've just changed my colour scheme. I had about 5 sets of duvet covers & pillowcases. One lady contacted me & wanted the bedding as she's just moved into a new home. No problem there. I got contacted by another person who wanted them & started arguing with me because I gave all the bedding away instead of sharing it out! It's my fucking bedding! I can burn it of I want! CFer! 🤷🏼‍♀️

LaChristmasBella · 22/12/2021 17:51

I once offered an ancient but still working laptop on freecycle and had literally hundreds of requests for it. The people who messaged saying 'yes plz' or 'ile have it' or 'when can u deliver' got no response, and eventually I gave it to a man who was elderly and wanted to learn how to email his grandkids.

RicherThanYew · 22/12/2021 17:51

@Cyw2018 You live near me I'm glad you didnt give the boots to that ogre, I hope you reported to FB though as previously suggested.

KirstenBlest · 22/12/2021 17:56

@Cyw2018

Tried to give away a pair of really lovely DrMarten boots that needed resoling but didn't fit me comfortably after pregnancy... This is what followed...

I did manage to eventually give them to someone pleasant and capable of using basic manners.

Often they haven't even read the offer.
I offered a piece of professional equipment, and listed that it was not a toy, and someone replied 'My 6-yr old girl would love this'.

Another collected something. I sent directions and clear instructions where to find it as I might be out. Got a frantic phone call. I asked 'Did you read my reply?' She hadn't

A bit like MN threads

MorningStarling · 22/12/2021 17:59

Personally I don't give stuff away because of this reason. Free stuff generally attracts the type of character who thinks that they are owed stuff in life. They don't see a reason to show any gratitude, in fact they're doing YOU a favour by taking it off your hands.

Unless you know a person and think they'd like an item, just bin it. At a pinch take it to a charity shop - but don't expect anything but contempt from them either.

KirstenBlest · 22/12/2021 18:00

And the things I give away are usually worth whatever someone is willing to pay. It might be niche like a piece of equipment that is out of date so of no retail value but at auction might get no bids or a decent profit - if more than one person wanted it.

Easier to give it away

Things of no value I leave on the doorstep. It won't be there long

NameChangeCity123 · 22/12/2021 18:01

This does my nut in too! So rude!

Thehogfatherstolemycurry · 22/12/2021 18:04

It might not be Marketplace though.
We have a local recycling page and one of the rules is to use manners, if you don't and I'm giving something away I give it to someone else.
So many people just put "me!" I don't engage.

billybear · 22/12/2021 18:05

i had same problem clearing my dads house giving away good arm chairs people were coming saying wrong colour,they could not afford to recover them,had wheelchairs at say £10 they tried to get price down, then to finish me off free stuff i put collection only they wanted it delivered