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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Christmas morning Covid test being demanded

859 replies

Quarks69 · 22/12/2021 08:27

Is everyone else having these? My sister in law has demanded this from my side of the family as her elderly parents are going to be at the dinner. With a family of five and three are my busy teens I am worried that we could end up with no xmas day if one of us is asymptomatic (for the second year running obvs).

I do get that we are in bonkers times, but Was so looking Forward to seeing everyone, including my parents, that this is making me cross...isn’t this the point of the jabs!?

OP posts:

Evvyjb · 22/12/2021 12:29

I can see both sides. I am also a teacher and am pretty fed up essentially being thrown to the wolves if we ask for covid protection and being expected to pretend it doesn't exist in our working lives. OTOH, I am currently positive (from work, thank you), triple jabbed and really quite unwell.

Picked up from an LFT before I went over to see my not too elderly parents who are over from where they live abroad. Haven't seen them since last xmas. Would LOVE to see them, but I will not be passing this on.

Testing before you see anyone is the right thing to do. I was asymptomatic when testing on Sunday, I'm now on day 3 in bed.

MsAgnesDiPesto · 22/12/2021 12:30

@GhoulWithADragonTattoo

I'd do it Christmas Eve evening not on the day but it's sensible to do it at the moment. How would you feel if your elderly relative was made sick by asymptomatic teen?

Clearly the OP and family couldn’t care less, as long as they don’t have to cook their own turkey dinner.

Lairymary · 22/12/2021 12:36

Yep, we are testing purely to cover our backs so I can't feel guilty if anyone comes down with any thing. The other half of the family are social beings with a student nurse and teenager so it would be nice if they did one but I wouldn't ask them. They should use their initiative. I'm not concerned about catching it myself but we have an elderly cancer patient that needs to be considered.

Tilltheend99 · 22/12/2021 12:36

Yes it would be sad if you had to isolate on Xmas day but I would much rather know I had it and keep my family safe.

She is not making a demand as you are entitled to say no and not go but that would be a bit petty really.

Sticking your head in the sand won’t make it go away if one of you is ill. Assuming you have been acting sensibly over the last few weeks to protect your family Christmas then the likely outcome is you will have negative tests and it will all be fine.

TiredMummyZZZ · 22/12/2021 12:40

Her house her rules, sounds sensible to me.

Chasingaftermidnight · 22/12/2021 12:40

We’ve asked our Christmas Day guests to test before coming because I’m pregnant, due two weeks after Christmas and so even an asymptomatic infection would mean giving birth alone.

None of them begrudge me that at all (as far as I know).

Whoopsmahoot · 22/12/2021 12:42

FFS just test. All my family will be- an immuno compromised family member and elderly relatives so not worth the risk- and yes we’ve all been triple jabbed.

TyrannosaurusRegina · 22/12/2021 12:45

What's the issue? If you're negative, great, celebrations can go ahead. If you're positive then you'd want to know surely, so that you can avoid passing it on to early relatives?

Juanbablo · 22/12/2021 12:45

It is sensible to test. We will be testing before seeing my grandma on Xmas eve.

MargaretHooper · 22/12/2021 12:49

My 80 something parents are coming for Christmas lunch. Of course we will all be testing on Christmas morning.

worriedatthemoment · 22/12/2021 12:49

@EL1984 you did pcr with no symptoms just incase ?

TuftyMarmoset · 22/12/2021 12:51

Totally reasonable to ask you to test before going. We are testing every day this week. Going to dinner with a group of friends later and two of them have just had positive LFTs so it’s just as well!

Clymene · 22/12/2021 12:51

Well, the main thing is that you don't have to cancel your Christmas plans. If you kill your SIL's parents, that's just an unfortunate side effect

Youdoyoutoday · 22/12/2021 12:53

It's taken more time to moan about it on here than it would to have tested yourself!! You're being incredibly selfish by not thinking of her elderly parents here

CoffeeMuggins · 22/12/2021 12:54

@Clymene

Well, the main thing is that you don't have to cancel your Christmas plans. If you kill your SIL's parents, that's just an unfortunate side effect

It's the world we now live in! Apparently..

Jaguar77 · 22/12/2021 12:57

They're vulnerable.!
Do the test

Moonsey123 · 22/12/2021 12:58

@BluebellsGreenbells

I think we should all have at least lateral flow tests before me go out to meet with family, friends and to events, restaurants. I have been thinking of suggesting this to my friends before me meet next week

Genuine question, will you carry on when the government starts charging for tests, say £5 a pop?

It has not happened yet so not point of thinking of that/deciding on something that has not happened.

That is the approach I will take now, not necessarily the approach I will take in a year.

anniegun · 22/12/2021 12:58

A very sensible idea. We would do the same

me4real · 22/12/2021 13:01

YABU @Quarks69 - It's not worth risking her risking her parents catching it and dying just so some people can have a nice fun day. What if your kids/yourself had a lovely Xmas but it resulted in your SiL losing her parents? You'd feel pretty bad, I hope.

gogohm · 22/12/2021 13:03

We are taking them tomorrow then no more testing as agreed as a family.

GalaPie · 22/12/2021 13:04

Seven family members tested yesterday morning before they came to dinner at my house, for no other reason than to ensure I can continue to work (in social care) over Xmas. I didn't even need to ask, they sorted it themselves.
This is how we live now, we carry out our own risk assessments and act accordingly.
They also changed the date of the dinner so that their theatre trip fell after it to minimise the risk. We'd done everything we could to be safe so we ate, drank danced and laughed. Cos that's how we like to live, too.

AD80 · 22/12/2021 13:09

Most people I know are doing lft's building up to Christmas to keep people safe. We won't be as we've just had covid but if we hadn't had it, we would be! YABU.

asymptomatic covid is common. Dd has had it and totally asymptomatic. Ds was only mildly ill for 12 hours, then fine. Covid was very much like a cold for me and dp so it can be easily missed.

worriedatthemoment · 22/12/2021 13:12

@monsterflake some people only get to see family at xmas as time when all off work etc or may be spending it with a mum or dad who will be left on there own if someone is positive etc
Its understandable for people to be disappointed , in your position not much would change but for others it would , hugely

AcrossthePond55 · 22/12/2021 13:12

There will only be six of us this year and all of us are double vaxxed and boostered. And each of us will be taking a test before our day together. Why? Because my DH recently completed radiation & chemo and his immunity is in the toilet. In addition to testing, DH is going to be wearing an N95 mask and we've put an extra leaf in the table so we're sitting a bit farther apart.

I'd hate to think we had someone so uncaring that they'd refuse to test and would still expect to come because they didn't want to miss dinner.

Justcannotbearsed · 22/12/2021 13:15

Asking everyone to test (including busy young adults) as clincally vulnerable grandparents will be there. Everyone is jabbed and boosted but...

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