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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Christmas morning Covid test being demanded

859 replies

Quarks69 · 22/12/2021 08:27

Is everyone else having these? My sister in law has demanded this from my side of the family as her elderly parents are going to be at the dinner. With a family of five and three are my busy teens I am worried that we could end up with no xmas day if one of us is asymptomatic (for the second year running obvs).

I do get that we are in bonkers times, but Was so looking Forward to seeing everyone, including my parents, that this is making me cross...isn’t this the point of the jabs!?

OP posts:
KatyRebecca84 · 22/12/2021 11:20

My sister has asked us too. I don’t want it to be positive so am dreading it but have no choice. Won’t be subjecting my 3 year old to it though!

worriedatthemoment · 22/12/2021 11:21

@Abraxan yes twice weekly but not daily ,

Abraxan · 22/12/2021 11:22

@SayAaa

It's not ok to police other people's testing behaviour. If you want to test yourself that's fine, but you should leave other adults to make their own decisions and definitely do not tell or ask them to test, FFS!
It's the SIL's home. She can ask the OP to test before coming or to stay home, in order to reduce the risk to their older and more vulnerable parents.

The OP doesn't have to test.
The OP can make a choice: test and go; don't test and stay home.

Mickarooni · 22/12/2021 11:23

@PoleFairy

I am CEV,,immune compromised with advanced chronic lung disease. I am young. If someone has a cold or cough, however mild, they always tell me and I re-arrange plans. I don’t expect a supermarket worker to stay home but I’m spending an entire day inside a small house with multiple people on Christmas Day. If someone is ill, the risk is too high.
So many people are ignorant of the way the rest of live because they don’t know. Covid has just brought it to light. I’m not complaining, this is my life and I totally accept it. I’m extremely grateful to be alive. But let’s not pretend that it’s only Covid that people are avoiding. I believe there are around 0.5 million severely immune suppressed/ immune compromised people in the UK. It’s a relatively small number but it’s not neglible.

IamGusFring · 22/12/2021 11:24

Our grown up kids are testing daily before visiting all the parents and Grandparents . We test if we've been somewhere busy . What's the big deal @Quarks69?

Hesma · 22/12/2021 11:24

YABVU. If you don’t want to do it then have Christmas at home. In every case you should put the most vulnerable first. No, this isn’t the point of the jabs… sounds like you are ignorant as well as selfish 🙄

Abraxan · 22/12/2021 11:24

[quote worriedatthemoment]@Abraxan yes twice weekly but not daily , [/quote]
Most people aren't seeing more vulnerable people in very close contact daily the rest of the year.

This week and next are different, as they are likely in much closer contact, for far longer, inside and with less ventilation and often with more vulnerable people.

Dh sees vulnerable clients a fair bit. Some times 3 or 4 times in a week. He takes a test before each visit. Infact last week he visited 3 care home in 2 days. He had to do a test before each one, including two in the same day.

anon12345678901 · 22/12/2021 11:25

@SayAaa

It's not ok to police other people's testing behaviour. If you want to test yourself that's fine, but you should leave other adults to make their own decisions and definitely do not tell or ask them to test, FFS!
It is actually if you're going into their home. Then it's fair game for them to ask, if you don't like it, don't go. Simple.
luckylavender · 22/12/2021 11:25

@Quarks69 - so you have teens, you teach, you test twice weekly and you have access to the internet. And yet the advice to test before seeing people at Christmas has completely passed you by. Although you're certain it's a mild variant. Ok.

YukoandHiro · 22/12/2021 11:26

Totally reasonable to be asking for a negative lateral flow before you attend.

You should be doing them before you meet anyone right now, especially people you care about!

Mickarooni · 22/12/2021 11:26

@SayAaa

It's not ok to police other people's testing behaviour. If you want to test yourself that's fine, but you should leave other adults to make their own decisions and definitely do not tell or ask them to test, FFS!
I don’t want anyone in my home who cares so little for my personal safety. Hmm I have an immunodeficiency and chronic lung disease. If you think that a brief nose swab is too much of a hassle, you’re no friend of mine. I feel the same way about other respiratory viruses too. Fortunately, I’ve never even had to ask. Anyone who comes over always volunteers they’ve done an LFT or cancelled if they have a cold. It’s no hardship. I visit my gran and always do an LFT because I’m mixing with others more than her.
worriedatthemoment · 22/12/2021 11:26

@Abraxan but some actually seeing them that day and some of us can't even get the kits now so won't be able to even to the twice weekly ones
I have 3 tests left there are 4 of us
Technically ds shouldn't do one as had covid 60 days ago but that means we can only test once this week

Blinkingbatshit · 22/12/2021 11:27

I LFT before I go to someone’s house as standard these days! It’s really not a big deal to protect your Sil’s elderly relatives!!🙄

JustLyra · 22/12/2021 11:28

@SayAaa

It's not ok to police other people's testing behaviour. If you want to test yourself that's fine, but you should leave other adults to make their own decisions and definitely do not tell or ask them to test, FFS!
It’s not “policing” someone to ask them to test to protect your vulnerable relative if they wish to come to your home.

They are not demanding anything of the OP. She’s been invited and a condition of the invitation is that she helps make it as safe as possible for the vulnerable elderly relatives.

No different to me asking people to never come to my home with coughs, colds or any illness because of how vulnerable my DD is.

worriedatthemoment · 22/12/2021 11:28

@Abraxan i also said not including work purposes . Some who said they are testing daily from now until when they see someone for xmas day and aren't out etc

logsonlogsoff · 22/12/2021 11:28

My DSIL and here family are refusing to but as we’re already at the in laws and stating here there’s not much we can do about that. Is she a selfish cow? Yes. Does she always think she knows best? Yes? Is she right? No.
She’s only concerned about herself and her plans and not if she or her DH or one of their teens will bring Covid to her elderly parents.

SofiaMichElf · 22/12/2021 11:28

@EishetChayil

Fuck's sake, are people really this selfish?

Yes. Yes they really are.

logsonlogsoff · 22/12/2021 11:29

I think it’s personally reasonable for people to ask you to LF. In the run up to Xmas we end to several things where we had been asked to take a LF beforehand and did it without complaint.

DeepaBeesKit · 22/12/2021 11:30

Based on my household, you incubate and spread covid for several days before actually testing positive yourself.

We are never going to limit the spread using testing for this reason.

The only thing that can reduce deaths/hospitalisations now is vaccines & herd immunity.

SofiaMichElf · 22/12/2021 11:31

@logsonlogsoff

My DSIL and here family are refusing to but as we’re already at the in laws and stating here there’s not much we can do about that. Is she a selfish cow? Yes. Does she always think she knows best? Yes? Is she right? No. She’s only concerned about herself and her plans and not if she or her DH or one of their teens will bring Covid to her elderly parents.
It makes no sense, does it?

Refusing to test can only mean one thing: that she doesn't want to change her plans if she's got Covid.

There can be no other possible explanation for point blank refusing to test.

YukoandHiro · 22/12/2021 11:31

I @SayAaa So the OP's SIL isn't allowed to protect her own parents by asking other attendees to test? Jesus, that's just the most extreme self centredness. Thatcherism in extremis

Eaumyword · 22/12/2021 11:31

@Thatsplentyjack

Hang on, you don't want to test incase one of you is asymptomatic? So you want to live in ignorant bliss and go spread covid to her elderly parents so you can all have a lovely christmas day?
This! It's a reasonable and sensible expectation for all family members to LFT before meeting up regardless of vaccination status and would consider someone refusing to be selfish. I test before I see my parents every time - I work in a school and have a school aged DC. Yes we're all vaccinated, but it is just about trying to keep each other safe.
adreamofspring · 22/12/2021 11:32

Had to come back to this thread as I’m still scratching my head at the logic. OP do you want all your pupils and colleagues to do the same thing as you i.e. just pass it on as we’re all Vaxxed and will be fine? Are you happy to have to cover for your absent colleagues in January who have to isolate or have to change your lessons plans for home learning? Or staggered return? Isn’t part of ‘getting on with life’ doing a simple 10 min test so we don’t have to even think about what Boris will or won’t do because we’re all being sensible.

We can go to our pantomimes and see friends we just... test first (gasp!)

RuggerHug · 22/12/2021 11:32

@SayAaa

It's not ok to police other people's testing behaviour. If you want to test yourself that's fine, but you should leave other adults to make their own decisions and definitely do not tell or ask them to test, FFS!
SayAaa If you're thinking of coming into my home and around my family I absolutely can and will be asking people to test. If someone doesn't like it fine but they won't be welcome and their whining won't be entertained.
GoingBacktoSchool123 · 22/12/2021 11:33

So you’re ok with your teens potentially giving her elderly parents a virus that could kill them as long as you don’t know about it because they are asymptomatic???

Some people need some fucking perspective.