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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Christmas morning Covid test being demanded

859 replies

Quarks69 · 22/12/2021 08:27

Is everyone else having these? My sister in law has demanded this from my side of the family as her elderly parents are going to be at the dinner. With a family of five and three are my busy teens I am worried that we could end up with no xmas day if one of us is asymptomatic (for the second year running obvs).

I do get that we are in bonkers times, but Was so looking Forward to seeing everyone, including my parents, that this is making me cross...isn’t this the point of the jabs!?

OP posts:
Mouthfulofquiz · 22/12/2021 11:06

I sort of feel the same as the OP. I just don’t like being told what to do by relatives! I will test the whole household before mixing at Christmas (and twice a week etc) but I resent the texts from the MIL telling me to do what I’m already doing! Does that make sense? It brings out my inner teenager. I feel like saying if you don’t trust me to do the right thing without nagging then don’t bloody come here!

AliceA2021 · 22/12/2021 11:08

LFT's are very easy to do and if it protects her elderly parents from asymptomatic cases why wouldn't you @Quarks69 ... surely if one of you is positive you could ensure you don't pass it on then.

Your sister is not 'demanding' she is sensible and considerate of parents Hmm

Staryflight445 · 22/12/2021 11:09

‘ RonaLisa
OP this is a daft question to put the MN jury, most of whom think we should be testing ourselves before we talk to someone via Zoom.’
^

The completely missed irony of this post actually made me laugh out loud.

AmaryllisNightAndDay · 22/12/2021 11:09

7 people have died of omicron with an average age of 83. I strongly suspect in the same time frame more people have died from common cold/flu type viruses

Probably (though it is a few more by now!) but now we are only seeing deaths as a result of infection levels from nearly a month ago and omicron had barely started spreading then. Now that omicron is all over the place and still spreading fast the big worry is what illness and death rates we'll see in two weeks to a month's time.

The deaths we see now are just the first indicator of what proportion of infected people will die. A few people had omicron a month ago, how many of those died, and then you have to multiply that by all the people who have omicron now and who will get it over the next few weeks to get an idea of how dangerous it really is.

Even if omicron only kills 10% of the infected people that delta killed, it is likely to infect very many more people so that very many people will still die unless we all try to stop so many people getting infected.

Where are we going with this? In 2021 people now seem to think societ should do whatever it takes to not be ill. That humans should eliminate all risk. It’s just not feasible in the long run.

Its a bummer that it happened just before Christmas but a dangerous new variant only just popped up. This is not about eliminating all risk. At the moment society is just doing whatever it takes to make sure that too many people don't get ill all at once, and families are doing a bit extra to make sure elderly and otherwise more vulnerable people that they care about can enjoy Christmas in reasonable safety.

What happens in the long run, we'll have to wait and see.

Itsmybaby · 22/12/2021 11:11

I see my elderly grandparents quite regularly and do a LFT before I go. It takes half an hour tops. What’s the issue?

7eleven · 22/12/2021 11:11

All going to test here. What a selfish and unreasonable OP

neverbeenskiing · 22/12/2021 11:11

It’s utter nonsense, your SIL is a virtue signaller OP.

I've heard it all now. Taking sensible precautions to protect elderly relatives from a virus that could kill them is "virtue signalling"?? That's just an easy way to justify your own behaviour to yourself really isn't it? People who don't want to take sensible precautions to protect others (like testing before mixing with other households or isolating when they have symptoms) tell themselves anyone who does these things is "virtue signalling". The reality is they're just selfish and irresponsible or so arrogant they think they know better than the experts.

She's asking OP and her family to do a test that's painless, doesn't cost them anything and takes all of two minutes. She's not asking them to wear full PPE or eat their dinner in the garden for fucks sake. Anyone who cared so little about my elderly DP's that they couldn't be bothered to do a quick LFT wouldn't be welcome in my home anyway.

worriedatthemoment · 22/12/2021 11:12

Why are some testing daily of not for work? I can even get any lft to just test for xmas but its no wonder and some have mentioned testing multiple times a day

toomuchlaundry · 22/12/2021 11:12

Didn’t visit DF if we had colds etc when he was undergoing cancer treatment. If norovirus etc was doing the rounds at school would also not visit even if DS wasn’t showing symptoms.

Missed a relatives very significant birthday as I was still in 48 hour isolation period after norovirus. Couldn’t risk making them or the other residents of nursing home ill.

So yes, I did try and be careful round vulnerable people prior to COVID.

Obviously not so easy to protect the vulnerable public but would like to think I was sensible.

maddy68 · 22/12/2021 11:13

Yes. We are all testing. Of course? Why wouldn't you?

toomuchlaundry · 22/12/2021 11:14

@worriedatthemoment the Government have recommended regular testing for some time haven’t they, especially families with school age children

KaycePollard · 22/12/2021 11:14

It’s common politeness not to mention concern for elderly people.

I can’t believe you are so thoughtless. YABU

keysonthetable · 22/12/2021 11:15

I kind of doubt that your SIL demanded it. I suspect that she asked but you didn't want to be asked to do this in case 1 of your family of 5 tested positive and therefore prevented all 5 of you attending the gathering.

We're going to my parents for lunch on the 25th. We've cut out any non-essential contact with others from today until Saturday and we will be testing as soon as we get up on the morning of the 25th. If one of us tests positive, I'll chuck the Boxing Day joint of meat in the oven and we'll have our own Christmas meal at home and skype/zoom everyone after lunch.

Sadly I suspect that if that happens we won't even be able to see them in person before we go back to work/school as we may all be asked (by Boris) to stay at home by then.

Have you got a plan B for if one of you tests positive ?

Thewiseoneincognito · 22/12/2021 11:15

@Quarks69 Wow..is this The only way you can cope with people that have different views from you?

I guess you could cancel me too. Then go back to your echo chamber

Knew it. I bet I could list a few of your aliases comrades.

⚠️⚠️⚠️Don’t be fooled by this one people ⚠️⚠️⚠️

Just another Anti Vax, Anti Testing, Anti common sense Goady OP

Abraxan · 22/12/2021 11:16

@Lesserspottedmama

It’s utter nonsense, your SIL is a virtue signaller OP. Common sense prevails as to if you are well enough to be amongst people, anyone who can’t see that is a fool.
Well that 'well enough to be at school' person managed to pass it to me and I ended up in hospital and with a life long health condition requiring daily medication as a result.

So, not sure common sense comes into it.

Maybe, in this case, the scientific expert's recommendations is a bit more useful than the average poster's common sense.

StickyStickyStickStickSong · 22/12/2021 11:17

I'm going to MIL for Xmas
DH has a huge family, there will be 16 of us. There are 3 lockdown babies all under 1 including my own son 9 months who will be there. MIL has asked everyone to test before we all go. I think it's a great idea because although me and DH are jabbed and booster jabbed you can still carry it and pass it on and my baby isn't jabbed obviously so I wouldn't want him or the other new babies getting it! You never know how it would affect them so young.
I understand from your SIL POV about putting the grandparents at risk too. You just never know

Abraxan · 22/12/2021 11:17

Quarks69\why do you do the bi-weekly covid tests to go to work at school?

They are optional. But you choose to do them. What is your reasoning for doing so?

WildFlowerBees · 22/12/2021 11:18

YABU - we're testing before seeing people as are they. It's no hardship.

Abraxan · 22/12/2021 11:19

@worriedatthemoment

Why are some testing daily of not for work? I can even get any lft to just test for xmas but its no wonder and some have mentioned testing multiple times a day
Twice weekly testing has been recommended for many professions and for all school/university pupils for months, along with other groups too.

Testing regularly using LFT isn't unusual.

RuggerHug · 22/12/2021 11:19

@Abraxan

Quarks69\\why do you do the bi-weekly covid tests to go to work at school?

They are optional. But you choose to do them. What is your reasoning for doing so?

Abraxan Because that's to check some filthy child hasn't infected her. Not that she won't infect someone else.
worriedatthemoment · 22/12/2021 11:19

@toomuchlaundry not daily though

IDontLikeMondays88 · 22/12/2021 11:20

Don’t bother going if you don’t want to do a lateral flow - problem solved

golddustwomen · 22/12/2021 11:20

YABU. We are testing before seeing my granddad Christmas Day. It takes 2 minutes.

SayAaa · 22/12/2021 11:20

It's not ok to police other people's testing behaviour. If you want to test yourself that's fine, but you should leave other adults to make their own decisions and definitely do not tell or ask them to test, FFS!

Abraxan · 22/12/2021 11:20

@toomuchlaundry

If there were simple tests for flu etc, I would be happy to take them if visiting vulnerable people
Snap, so would I.

As most cases of flu are asymptomatic this would be useful when you know you're meeting someone much more vulnerable.