Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Christmas morning Covid test being demanded

859 replies

Quarks69 · 22/12/2021 08:27

Is everyone else having these? My sister in law has demanded this from my side of the family as her elderly parents are going to be at the dinner. With a family of five and three are my busy teens I am worried that we could end up with no xmas day if one of us is asymptomatic (for the second year running obvs).

I do get that we are in bonkers times, but Was so looking Forward to seeing everyone, including my parents, that this is making me cross...isn’t this the point of the jabs!?

OP posts:
smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 22/12/2021 09:41

We test before we meet up with anyone especially my very vulnerable grandad, i would never forgive myself if he caught Covid from me.

Exhausteddog · 22/12/2021 09:41

We are planning to get a "back up" Christmas dinner in case of anyone testing positive.

worriedatthemoment · 22/12/2021 09:41

I get both sides here , the responsible thing is to test obviously and with elderly people or meeting that is the advice
But I also get why some kind of don't want to know
We are going to my parents and my mum will be come anyway I think, as she just thinks there going to get it anyway !!! We will do them but I am nervous as if positive then obviously throws everything out the window as I wouldn't go no matter what , even though she will say just bloody come.
I have heard of so many people who have tested positive this week who were away or at relatives for xmas who are now missing and having go isolate and source food for xmas as well with no delivery slots

absolutelyknackeredcow · 22/12/2021 09:42

We are hosting Xmas day - with a great aunt and the in-laws - one who is vulnerable and two who are very cautious.
We are testing before we host and asking everyone we see to test. No one is batting an eyelid - it's literally daily life here in London

Abraxan · 22/12/2021 09:42

Just say you tested and it's negative.

Please don't do this.
If you aren't doing one, tell them you aren't doing one. Own your decision.

Don't lie about it. Anyone who is vulnerable can't then make an informed decision about their own risk.

supercatlady · 22/12/2021 09:43

So your Christmas Day is more important than her vulnerable relatives lives?
Hmmmm
The fact you have busy teens is precisely why you should be testing

ancientgran · 22/12/2021 09:43

Everyone who is visiting me is telling me they have done a LFT that morning or they will do when they are coming. I think it is very considerate as DH is mid 70s and vulnerable.

We haven't actually asked anyone to do a test but I suppose the point is I haven't needed to.

Abraxan · 22/12/2021 09:44

[quote Missushbb]@NandorTheRelentless i don't know what the point in your post was. i did get a pcr. my point is lateral flows didn't pick up an infection, so all you people who are so smug in doing your lateral flows, you could still bloody have it! [/quote]
But are still less likely to, especially whilst it is in its most infectious part.

Doing an lft picks up more asymptomatic cases than simply not bothering to do one,

anon12345678901 · 22/12/2021 09:44

Some peoples selfishness is amazing. Such dickheads around.

dotsandco · 22/12/2021 09:44

I'm testing today before I go to spend a week with my daughter...she hasn't asked me to, but it's just necessary isn't it? She's just messaged me to say that they've all just done LFTs and all negative...again, none of us actually mentioned this prior, but as considerate humans, we just did it!

As Chris Whitty said...we can't assess personal risk with this virus...we should be assessing community risk. I know LFTs aren't failsafe, but it's the best we have at the moment 🤷‍♀️ Just because 'you don't trust them' doesn't mean that the vast majority don't work...because they do!

awaynboilyurheid · 22/12/2021 09:44

YABU as you can see from result Not sure what your post is about as the sensible majority been testing for quite a while now I do it before work or visiting elderly relatives. Even tested before visiting friend last week as she too has elderly relatives and wants to be safe, not sure why you wouldn’t or even worse lie about doing it.

catchingzzzeds · 22/12/2021 09:45

Selfish and quite frankly utterly stupid.

It's partly because of attitudes like yours that we're in such a mess still.

For what it's worth I'm fully vaccinated and currently have Covid, I've felt so ill it has shocked me. I would hate for an elderly relative to suffer like I have the last couple of weeks.

Blahblahblah40 · 22/12/2021 09:45

I think most people will do an LFD before they go to someone’s home. Just considerate isn’t it.

toomuchlaundry · 22/12/2021 09:45

I’m still taking other precautions as well as LFTs. Have upgraded masks to FFP2, reduced social contacts, will ventilate the house well before visitors and then keep windows slightly ajar etc

adreamofspring · 22/12/2021 09:45

I am soo confused. Why can’t your Xmas day test form part of your bi weekly LFTs? Or is it more important that you don’t infect your work colleagues than your loved ones? Genuinely scratching my head at why your even asking about this if it’s already a part of your daily life. We had to do them daily towards the end of the school term because of so many cases. Wouldn’t dream of not doing one before going to see my parents. Please explain your thinking OP, would love to understand better.

MajorNeville · 22/12/2021 09:45

Yes, we are testing Christmas morning, we are going to my parents and my sister and husband will be there. There are 5 of us and we need to be certain we aren't taking the virus into their home. Totally sensible if you ask me. If I'm Christmas morning one of us tests positive then we'll stay home with no meal prepared or even bought, so what, so long as my parents are safe.

5128gap · 22/12/2021 09:46

Obviously hindsight is a wonderful thing, but I think the key to this at the moment is to try only to make plans with like minded people. I personally don't know anyone who would do this, but if I did, their demand would probably not have been a surprise, as I'd have noticed their caution throughout. Unlike the more militant on here, I don't think there's a right or wrong to this. People harp on about risk to the elderly and vulnerable, sometimes without taking into account the wishes of older and vulnerable people themselves, who are often ime less risk adverse than the people insisting on protecting them, and just want go see their family. As they are the ones effected, imo its their view that counts. However in your case, your SIL has the power, so its up to her.

RoseAndRose · 22/12/2021 09:46

@Blahblahblah40

I think most people will do an LFD before they go to someone’s home. Just considerate isn’t it.
Yes, it's one of the basics of learning to live with covid.
BluebellsGreenbells · 22/12/2021 09:46

My god.. You think you've seen peak selfishness and then you read thiis.

I disagree. OP works with unvaccinated children, has teens in unvaccinated school settings, no ventilation, no masks required, no social distancing and yet I see so many people complain about meeting up with one unvaccinated friend for an outdoor coffee, screaming murderer!!!

The difference here is that teachers are high risk to themselves everyday - every single day and parents don’t want to test their small children because it might traumatize them or means a parent has to stay home for 10 days, or they can’t get the other kids to school or lose pay or even lose bookings for the panto. It they are happy to not test close their eyes and hope for the best - sod the school staff.

There view on Covid is very different to the stay at home worker who gets a weekly shopping delivery and never sets food outside. Can you not see that?

Lollipop999 · 22/12/2021 09:47

@Loveinacoldishclimate

You don’t want to do a test in case it’s positive and so you can’t go? But you’re happy to go if you’re asymptotic but contagious? I don’t really get it sorry

Honestly

Yes the op doesn’t make sense.

Testing isn’t fair as they may be asymptotic and positive and then couldn’t go, but then they wouldn’t go if they had it!

@Quarks69 we are all going to do one before friends and family come over and asked them to do one too. Everyone is happy to do that especially with older relatives coming. Yes it could mean we or they miss out but that is life and hopefully they will have food in just in case and we can rebook it a week or so later!

worriedatthemoment · 22/12/2021 09:47

No wonder i can't get any lft with some testing daily
I ordered online 4 days ago and still waiting and none in local pharmacist
I have 3 left and four of us and not able to do one this week as no tests

beautifullymad · 22/12/2021 09:47

@Hemingwayscatz

Both sets of parents are old not vulnerable

Being old does automatically mean you’re vulnerable.

Yes it does with covid. Statistically the older you are the higher risk to have of becoming seriously ill.

I'm in the CEV category and my 'covid age' from the Oxford assessment scale is the same as a healthy 71 year old. I'm in my early 50's.

Age does make a huge difference with covid.

greenlynx · 22/12/2021 09:49

We are doing LFT before meeting people. It’s not a big deal. We all are triple jabbed. The point of jabs is that you will be less ill with Covid then without them. So you still could end up at hospital and could be quite unwell, but without jabs your situation would be much worse.
Of course, your SIL demanded it, she invited you to hers on this condition, that’s it. Don’t go if you don’t like it, especially if you don’t like your SIL by the sound of it.
I personally would do test on Xmas ev and then on Xmas morning again to be sure in case of family gathering, just to be on the safe side. But I only socialize with people I like and care about.

I hope your SIL is smart and ask you (and others) to send her photos of your negative tests on Xmas morning.

SpeckledlyHen · 22/12/2021 09:49

@Thatsplentyjack

Hang on, you don't want to test incase one of you is asymptomatic? So you want to live in ignorant bliss and go spread covid to her elderly parents so you can all have a lovely christmas day?
This
PaniniHead · 22/12/2021 09:49

@Missushbb

it does seem a bit ott but i can see her point. however i don't have a lot of trust in lateral flow tests as mine was repeatedly negative when i had symptoms, got a PCR and was positive. Even people with symptoms are saying they're ok as the lateral flow was negative. in my experience that didn't matter.
LFTs aren’t to be used if you have symptoms…