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Original poster

To say no to babysitting Christmas Eve?

95 replies

ToNotHelp · 20/12/2021 14:53

My 16 year old cousin lives with his mum 90 minutes drive from me, my uncle (his dad) and my dad (his uncle).

My uncle is a single dad to his two younger children, who do not have any contact with their mother.

16yo cousin rides a scooter to go between homes but left his scooter at my dads house last time he was here (I don’t really know why).

My cousin asked my dad if my dad could pick him up on Christmas Eve so that he could stay with my uncle for Christmas then ride the scooter back to his mums house boxing day morning. However my uncle is working so dad is babysitting the younger two children on Christmas Eve – my two younger cousins get car sick so doing a 3 hour round trip in the car on Christmas Eve wouldn’t be good for them so dad volunteered me to babysit (I drive but don’t have my own car and it’s too expensive to be insured on my dads or uncles cars).

I feel bad for saying no, but Christmas Eve is my only time with DD over Christmas apart from today (I am also a single parent and DD goes to her dads early Christmas Day and comes back late Boxing Day). She loves her cousins and would be fine with them but I go back to work on 27th December and she’s in holiday club from then, and she’s also in holiday club tomorrow, Wednesday and Thursday as I’m working. 3 hours in my uncles house waiting for my dad and older cousin means no time to really do anything Christmasy with DD or go round to my family with presents. As DD doesn't see them CD we open presents with different family members on Christmas Eve, DD loves it and enjoys looking at all the lights.

If I don’t babysit my younger cousins, my older cousin will be on his own all over Christmas as his mum and stepdad are both working, so I do feel guilty.

Cousins mum refuses to drive him or pick him up, she split with uncle when cousin was 4 and moved to be closer to her family, she refused to do any of the travelling and until the younger boys where born (they’re 4 and 2) my dad and uncle sorted travel between them.

WWYD?

OP posts:
kgov1 · 20/12/2021 16:50

I am not sure I fully understand is going on but if the issue is with your older cousin, can someone not pick him up so he could pick up his scooter before Christmas Eve? That way he can drive to his dad's for Christmas as he wants.

sydenhamhiller · 20/12/2021 16:51

@Squeezita

Is it truly beyond the wit of 3 men to sort out a straightforward problem between themselves without a woman ruining her Christmas time with her DD?

Exactly!

I love this and might have it worked into a sampler for my wall. Excellent.
zingally · 20/12/2021 16:57

Does your cousin/uncle/dad understand that trains and buses are a thing? What about cousin's mother? Tell them to get stuffed.

oftenbaffled · 20/12/2021 16:57

* My house isn't big enough for 3 children, small 2 bed flat with living room and kitchen together in one room, I'm classed as overcrowded with just me and DD.*

Oh come on Op

Seriously
Will be fine for a few hours

IncompleteSenten · 20/12/2021 17:03

Overcrowding goes on bedrooms doesn't it?
One adult, one child, 2 bedrooms. That doesn't sound overcrowded. They don't count two ( under 10 if opposite sex, any age if same sex,) children sharing a room as overcrowded.

oftenbaffled · 20/12/2021 17:07

@IncompleteSenten

Overcrowding goes on bedrooms doesn't it? One adult, one child, 2 bedrooms. That doesn't sound overcrowded. They don't count two ( under 10 if opposite sex, any age if same sex,) children sharing a room as overcrowded.
It’s not even for overnight!! It’s for a few hours.

The OP will not be back I reckon

MadeOfStarStuff · 20/12/2021 17:10

Your cousin, dad and uncle need to sort it out without involving you, they have several days to sort out giving the lad a lift to pick up the scooter beforehand or for him to get public transport to collect it himself. Surely between the three of them they can manage to figure it out

CharityDingle · 20/12/2021 17:13

@DPotter

YANBU

Today is Monday, Christmas Eve is Friday, that 4 whole days. Is it truly beyond the wit of 3 men to sort out a straightforward problem between themselves without a woman ruining her Christmas time with her DD?

Step back from them and let them sort it out

+1. Let your dad volunteer himself to do it! Bloody cheek of him.
TatianaBis · 20/12/2021 17:18

Just say no.

I hope you get Christmas Day with DD every other year?

IncompleteSenten · 20/12/2021 17:19

I wasn't talking about the guests. They don't count as a home being overcrowded, just people who live there do. The op said her flat is classed as overcrowded with just her and her daughter living there.

oftenbaffled · 20/12/2021 17:24

@IncompleteSenten

I wasn't talking about the guests. They don't count as a home being overcrowded, just people who live there do. The op said her flat is classed as overcrowded with just her and her daughter living there.
Yes, the OP is speaking utter nonsense

Class as crowding… two people, two bedrooms.

TrashyPanda · 20/12/2021 17:26

small 2 bed flat with living room and kitchen together in one room, I'm classed as overcrowded with just me and DD

Really?

Me and my ex lived in a small one bedroom flat, living room and kitchen in one room. Never any suggestion 2 adults in a #smaller space than yours was overcrowding

Howshouldibehave · 20/12/2021 17:29

My house isn't big enough for 3 children, small 2 bed flat with living room and kitchen together in one room, I'm classed as overcrowded with just me and DD

Who exactly has classed you as overcrowded?! Two people, two bedrooms…!

oftenbaffled · 20/12/2021 17:30

If you don’t want to do it… that is fine and your prerogative

But do not be daft re no having two extra children for 3 hours because a two bed flat would be overcrowded

Youdoyoutoday · 20/12/2021 17:34

Can we not derail the thread here with the overcrowding bollocks, sorry OP, but it is!

Her dad volunteered her time without asking! That's the issue here and the OP has the right to say no! If the 16 year old cousin is responsible enough to ride a scooter and leave it in the wrong place then they are also responsible for making their own way there to collect it in the next 3 days before Xmas!!

oftenbaffled · 20/12/2021 17:36

@Youdoyoutoday

Can we not derail the thread here with the overcrowding bollocks, sorry OP, but it is!

Her dad volunteered her time without asking! That's the issue here and the OP has the right to say no! If the 16 year old cousin is responsible enough to ride a scooter and leave it in the wrong place then they are also responsible for making their own way there to collect it in the next 3 days before Xmas!!

It is relevant

Because the OP explains the situation as such that a very sensible sounding solution is discarded by her in ridiculous grounds

GabriellaMontez · 20/12/2021 17:43

Prioritise yourself and your child.

Why do all these men think you should disrupt your Christmas at their convenience?

Youdoyoutoday · 20/12/2021 17:44

Well I don't see it as such, yes it's a bit of a silly thing to say but reading thr first post, I'm still siding with the OP, she's working before and after xmas so why should she give up her time because her 16 year old cousin is silly? And her dad should not have volunteered her time, it's so wrong!

BringUsSomeFrigginPudding · 20/12/2021 17:52

It's not a "sensible solution" for OP to give up her plans for Christmas with her daughter. There's another solution. They just need to look a little harder for it. OP was the easy way out. Her father was presumptuous to volunteer her time without asking first. He can find another solution, if he's that bothered.

oftenbaffled · 20/12/2021 17:54

@BringUsSomeFrigginPudding

It's not a "sensible solution" for OP to give up her plans for Christmas with her daughter. There's another solution. They just need to look a little harder for it. OP was the easy way out. Her father was presumptuous to volunteer her time without asking first. He can find another solution, if he's that bothered.
The sensible solution that people are intrigued why the Op isn’t doing

Is to have two child relatives for three hours.

TatianaBis · 20/12/2021 18:42

@oftenbaffled

Why should she?

aloris · 20/12/2021 18:48

You have so little time with your daughter over Christmas, I don't think it is fair to ask you to spend it babysitting. Your dad was inconsiderate to volunteer your time on Christmas Eve when he knows you are not going to have your daughter on Christmas Day.

Presumably Uncle and Dad will both be home on Christmas Day. Why can't one of them go pick him up Christmas morning?

Do you at least get alternate Christmas Days with your daughter? If not, do you feel comfortable saying why? Kinda getting the impression here that everything is all about catering to the menz.

Youdoyoutoday · 20/12/2021 18:51

@oftenbaffled you are quite baffling yourself!

OP said she is working til Xmas and then straight after and has limited time with her own child over Xmas due to a court ordered agreement, why should she give up her precious time?

M1526 · 20/12/2021 19:00

Sorry but I stopped and Hmm at your dad volunteering your time to babysit.

It's not his favour to promise. Does your family typically have the dynamic of you solving their problems? It's not an emergency, they just can not be bothered to plan around it. And they're happy for you to sacrifice your time with DD to solve their problem.

Odd and dysfunctional.

HappyDays40 · 20/12/2021 19:17

There are infinite number of possibilities. Cab, bus, train, walk, user, lift of a friend. Will not infinite but lots for a grown young man. I was able to get myself about at that age. Can he not do any of those things?

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