They should have been more honest in their adverts.
Hello retired ,burnt out, incompetent, managed out, disillusioned - delete as appropriate - former teachers. As you know for the past thirty or so years successive governments have vilified and denigrated the teaching profession, blaming teachers for all life’s ills from teen anxiety , eating disorders and failure to speak a language other than English to county lines, at the same time we have turned your working lives upside down many times, introduced new policies at four o clock on a Friday afternoon to be implemented on Monday morning, we have tweaked your working conditions and allowed Academies to undermine your professionalism , your minimal qualifications and salaries. During the recent unpleasantness we lied about providing equipment for home learning, expected schools to provide PPE equipment from already depleted funds and refused vulnerable children access to meals. Since schools returned last September we have denied that schools are vectors for infection and have insisted that to maintain standards Ofsted inspectors will expect all children to have been learning and progressing at pre Covid closure levels.
But that is water under the bridge, we are all on a learning journey, and can move forward together.
For example , even we at the Department have recently learned that unaccountably, considering the care we have taken over recruitment and retention within the profession, that there is a shortage of teachers and even poorly paid supply teachers willing to stand in freezing cold classrooms and expose themselves to Covid from unvaccinated and untested children. It now appears likely that even factoring in putting all TAs, midday assistants and lollipop people in front of classes we will have a shortage of warm bodies come January. So, how about it? Why not come back into the profession you love, teach a curriculum you are unfamiliar with, learn how to do marking with green and purple pens, risk being vilified by an Ofsted inspection to breathe in the viral exhalations of anxious children . We will pay you a teeny tiny amount of money, completely unrelated to your experience and qualifications, and who knows, you might even be featured on national news as a Teacher Hero, wouldn’t that be something to mention to your grandchildren when they ask what you did in the Great Pandemic.
Formal applications not necessary, just turn up, please bring your own pritt sticks and pens.