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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just tested positive, can I still provide Xmas Dinner but not attend?

157 replies

Tereseta · 19/12/2021 16:42

I was supposed to be cooking for dh and dds and elderly mil for Christmas. Felt a bit off colour today and did lft which was positive, waiting on results of pcr.
Obviously this has stopped my Christmas in its tracks, but dh and dds are still hoping to go to mils for Xmas day (depending on their lft being negative) would I be still be OK to cook/prep the dinner at our home for him to take to mils or not?
He's not much of a cook and mil is disabled and unable to cook a big meal. Dh is carer for mil so will be round there daily depending on negative lft.
AIBU to cook the dinner for h to take round on Xmas day? Don't want to ruin everyone's Christmas.

OP posts:
DropOfffArtiste · 19/12/2021 17:34

Why can't DH buy something ready prepped and make it himself. Only catering for 3 of them shouldn't be beyond him. Small turkey crown and follow the instructions.

DorothyZbornakIsAQueen · 19/12/2021 17:35

Everyone saying that OPS family will probably get it, it doesn't work like that. My whole and extended family have all had it at some point. All those who live in same houses and have managed not to get it if someone has been infected.

My husband and daughter had it in June. I didn't distance thinking it would be easier for me to catch it.

I didn't get it.

I've just had covid and neither husband or daughter got it.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 19/12/2021 17:35

Depends where you live. I'm in Scotland and we have to do PCR tests if there is a positive case. I still thought advice was to do a PCR to start with in England

That WAS the case in England until Wednesday just gone, in England. Now, if we're fully jabbed and don't have symptoms ourselves we can just do daily LFTs and go about our merry business. Under 5s don't even have to do that. Hmm Great idea, innit.....

Benjispruce5 · 19/12/2021 17:36

Get your DH and Dc to cook it. Get well soon.

Benjispruce5 · 19/12/2021 17:38

Surely he can cook with your instructions?

traka · 19/12/2021 17:40

MN isn't really the place to ask a question like this, nobody knows what they're talking about

My stance is, would I want to eat food prepared by somebody with covid, absolutely not

Same goes for any virus

DismantledKing · 19/12/2021 17:40

@CheshireKitten123

I don't think so, but check with NHS 111
Because they’ve not got enough to do at the moment
amysaurus87 · 19/12/2021 17:41

Sorry but if you have covid YABVU to go to your in laws for Christmas. This is how it spreads.

toomuchlaundry · 19/12/2021 17:43

What happens to MIL if DH tests positive?

BogRollBOGOF · 19/12/2021 17:43

Covid won't survive the cooking and reheating. It's not like breathing norovirus onto a salad.

Family members need to take precautions like ventilating with windows and LFTs.

Many frail, elderly people would rather take the risk of some family love than being lonely and isolated over Christmas.

icedcoffees · 19/12/2021 17:43

I don't think any of you should be visiting MIL at all if there's a positive case in the household.

Yellowmellow2 · 19/12/2021 17:44

@amysaurus87

Sorry but if you have covid YABVU to go to your in laws for Christmas. This is how it spreads.
That’s not what she said! That would be daft.

Personally I think it would be absolutely fine to cook the food and send it with your husband. It’s not going to be sprayed with COVID germs 🙄

However, you may well not feel well enough. Give yourself a break.

EdenFlower · 19/12/2021 17:44

@Plumbear2

I wouldn't want to eat food prepared by someone with covid.
What do you expect families to do then if one member tests positive and has to cook for the family? It's not always possible for someone else to cook for a whole two weeks!
JisForJellyfish · 19/12/2021 17:45

My understanding is its airborne, so yes I would. If MIL is happy for everyone else to attend (I'd say them passing it on is a bigger risk than via food), she's probably happy to have it prepared by you. Possibly for you even to attend?
Just ask her.

luverlybubberly · 19/12/2021 17:46

I would simplify the meal and have him do the prep under your supervision.

The meat is straight forward. You'll be able to tell him what time to put it on.

Have him make the mash at home while you watch from afar. Refrigerate.

But readymade gravy and veg that doesn't need chopping etc

On the day he just needs to roast meat, boil veg and reheat gravy and mash.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 19/12/2021 17:47

@DorothyZbornakIsAQueen

Everyone saying that OPS family will probably get it, it doesn't work like that. My whole and extended family have all had it at some point. All those who live in same houses and have managed not to get it if someone has been infected.

My husband and daughter had it in June. I didn't distance thinking it would be easier for me to catch it.

I didn't get it.

I've just had covid and neither husband or daughter got it.

Yeah - but not the much more transmissible omicron
itsgettingwierd · 19/12/2021 17:47

@Plumbear2

I wouldn't want to eat food prepared by someone with covid.
Whatever not?

Cook it, heat it up - the virus will die in the temperatures.

WombatStewForTea · 19/12/2021 17:48

Jesus wept. The amount of people ignoring the fact that her DH is in MILs house daily anyway because he's her career Hmm

Blinky21 · 19/12/2021 17:49

You can't catch covid from food because its airborne, there's no evidence it passes through your gut. That said I agree I wouldn't visit an elderly person, or anyone, if someone in my house was positive

EdenFlower · 19/12/2021 17:49

People won't eat food prepared by someone with a virus? You probably eat food prepared by people with viruses all the time! A cold is a virus- you think there is nobody who is carrying a virus working in restaurants, bars, supermarkets, food production factories etc? Do you not think the OP was preparing food for her family before she tested positive but was still carrying the virus?

profpoopsnagle · 19/12/2021 17:49

When I had Covid, DH got fed up of cooking after 4 days, so I did it then. No-one caught covid from me in my household. I think the food aspect is safe, but I also think it would be wise to have a few extra plans.

icedcoffees · 19/12/2021 17:50

@WombatStewForTea

Jesus wept. The amount of people ignoring the fact that her DH is in MILs house daily anyway because he's her career Hmm
Nobody is ignoring that, I don't think. OP has said herself that he'll only continue to go there if he tests negative on his daily LFT's.
Original poster
Tereseta · 19/12/2021 17:51

Thanks for all the comments, to answer some, if DH can't go to mils then she would have no way of getting food and drink or getting to the toilet. She has a carer in the evening to get her washed and changed for bed but the visit lasts about 20 mins and at the moment there is not much chance of more than that. If he tests positive then God knows what will happen, probably emergency care from social services.

We have agonised over the risk to her over the last two years and take as many precautions as we can.

I think I will order as much pre prepared veg and potatoes as I can and write out timings for DH Grin what could go wrong!

OP posts:
HippeePrincess · 19/12/2021 17:51

Why doesn’t you dh go and buy it all pre prepared? You can get goose fat roasties, ready made yorkies, even all the veg and gravy ready to go in the oven/hob/microwave. Then he can just coordinate the timings. It’s what we’re doing anyway so we can spend our time resting, relaxing and with the kids instead of slaving in the kitchen.
You may even be feeling unwell by next weekend and wouldn’t be up to it anyway.

Skyechasemarshalontheway · 19/12/2021 17:52

In scotland household contacts also isolate for 10 days regardless of results so her dh wouldn't be able to go out.

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