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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be peeved with my sister and fucking make up?

109 replies

QuestionableMouse · 19/12/2021 10:04

We've brought the kiddos away for the weekend and are sharing a hotel room.

We were late getting on the road yesterday because it takes her so long to get ready. Today, we're probably going to miss breakfast anywhere because it's taken her over 45 minutes to put her face on and I've had to do everything (tidying round/packing up- we're checking out today and staying with family tonight, getting the kids ready) while she sat there doing makeup.

Aibu to be a bit annoyed? It's the same every time we go anyway!

OP posts:
gsaoej · 19/12/2021 12:55

Don't go away with her again.

JudgeRindersMinder · 19/12/2021 12:55

YABU purely for referring to “kiddos”

nitsandwormsdodger · 19/12/2021 12:56

Does she need therapy as this is excessive?

NowWhatUsernameShallIHave · 19/12/2021 13:00

I’m like your sister where I talk time getting ready but not at the expense of breakfast especially if there are kids involved

Make it clear next time for her to be ready otherwise you will leave

I’m assuming breakfast was at another place rather than where you were staying otherwise you were the fool to not just go downstairs with the kids.

If breakfast was where you were could she not have breakfast and then come back up after eating quickly

But I would definitely leave her next time and get her to check out and get a taxi

Blossomtoes · 19/12/2021 13:52

@nitsandwormsdodger

Does she need therapy as this is excessive?
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
CheshireKitten123 · 19/12/2021 15:21

OP I have had friends like this.

Always late for everything.

I tackled one person about it and she said '"Everyone else is used to it, why aren't you? " Shock

These people are manipulative, disrespectful, entitled and selfish.

What they are actually saying to you is "My time is more important than yours".

So you know what to do OP.......

Squeezita · 19/12/2021 15:34

It’s madness to keep doing the same thing and expecting the outcome to be different. Accept her ways or stop going away with her.

luverlybubberly · 19/12/2021 15:42

@FreeBritnee

Most people who depend on make up do so out of insecurity, not vanity. I had terrible skin up until my mid thirties and I was wedded to my make up bag because of it. Even now twenty years later I’m still never seen without make up as my self esteem is so bad. So I’d cut her some slack.
Surely you know how long it takes to apply your makeup because you did it every day and need to do it in time to get to work etc ?

Taking a long time to do hair or makeup isn't the problem - it's the not factoring in that time so that you're not holding everyone else up that is crap. Even if it means she has to get up 2 hours before everyone else, she should be embarrassed that everybody else is always waiting for her and they've missed breakfast. I know that sister was carless but it's shocking that she's keeping multiple hungry people waiting rather than ask them to bring something back like a coffee from the vending machine in the lobby.

CommanderBurnham · 19/12/2021 15:42

My SIL is like this. Flew to a wedding and turned up at the end because she was putting her make up on. Puts in on at the dinner table, spends a shit load of money on it then calls a make up artist. We just leave her to it. And now so does my brother.

Original poster
QuestionableMouse · 19/12/2021 17:19

I have told her multiple times but she won't go out without a full face of makeup. I don't wear any so it drives me slightly mad anyway.

Leaving her would have caused massive family strife and just isn't worth it! If it had just been downstairs, I'd have gone with the kids (both hers, not mine) but the littlest is going through a separation anxiety phase and trying to bring him away would have ended in tears. We were also heading into the town centre for breakfast cause the hotel wasn't serving any (due to staffing issues, I think)

OP posts:
SoItWas · 19/12/2021 17:29

"Your children are missing breakfast because of your sister?

As a mother you need to do better."

Not the op's kids...

luverlybubberly · 19/12/2021 17:51

@QuestionableMouse

I have told her multiple times but she won't go out without a full face of makeup. I don't wear any so it drives me slightly mad anyway.

Leaving her would have caused massive family strife and just isn't worth it! If it had just been downstairs, I'd have gone with the kids (both hers, not mine) but the littlest is going through a separation anxiety phase and trying to bring him away would have ended in tears. We were also heading into the town centre for breakfast cause the hotel wasn't serving any (due to staffing issues, I think)

Have you considered not going away with her or calling her at 7am to make sure she's ready to go out at 10? 😈 you shouldn't have to do this but I'm guessing that you have to travel with her because of money, she can't drive etc
Immunetypegoblin · 19/12/2021 17:53

You need to leave and get yourself breakfast, then come back later to meet them. Feign surprise at her anger when you do this.

Clymene · 19/12/2021 17:57

Just never go away with her again. She's your sister / you can be honest about why

TheCatterall · 19/12/2021 17:58

Sort your stuff out and you and your kids leave the room. Leave her to it. You are pandering to her and enabling her. Yes it may cause strife setting boundaries and enforcing them - but currently you being a complete pacifier is causing strife for you.

Have a word with her or don’t - but don’t keep going away with her and letting her do this.

MargosKaftan · 19/12/2021 18:02

You know what she's like, she is taking advantage of you looking after her kids. So just refuse to travel with her again. Be clear "I really hate that I have to look after your children while you take forever getting ready, so I think its best we travel separately and you look after your own kids."

aloris · 19/12/2021 18:10

I would say, go into the town center on your own, have breakfast; while you're there, pick up something "to go" for the kids (and for her too, if you feel magnanimous, otherwise, "sorry, I would have gotten you something to eat but I didn't know what you wanted.")

So it's going to cause massive family problems if you do this. Why doesn't it cause massive family problems that you, the driver, didn't get something to eat before driving? Her unreasonable anger shouldn't be allowed to control you.

If she knows she may miss breakfast because it takes her so long to get ready, and she didn't think to bring something quick that her children could eat for breakfast in the hotel room, then she is at fault re her children too, IMO. You have the car and can find food for yourself if you need, but her children depend on her to feed them breakfast.

Mummyoflittledragon · 19/12/2021 18:16

I’ve just realised who you are. You really should consider working on those assertiveness skills and boundaries op. You’ve also let friends walk all over you as well.

luverlybubberly · 19/12/2021 18:21

Why doesn't it cause massive family problems that you, the driver, didn't get something to eat before driving?

My kids not getting food or drink has been the cause of family problems but that one is understandable as I've felt hangry too

Lulu1919 · 19/12/2021 18:32

Go to breakfast ..let her join you when she's ready ????

Fireatseaparks · 19/12/2021 18:43

It’s not the make up that’s the problem, it’s the fact she doesn’t get up early enough to do it.

Whether it takes her 45 minutes each morning to apply make up, choose an outfit or do a morning dance performance, the issue is that she isn’t ready on time.

She needs to get up earlier. Making it about make up is going to obfuscate things.

WhoopsWhatsMyNameAgain · 19/12/2021 18:51

If you think there's going to be a next time, then you need to have a proper chat.

"Sister, I totally understand you want to put your makeup on in the morning, that's fair enough. But in future can we please aim for a time to leave and plan accordingly? So if we want to get to a cafe for breakfast at 10, then you clearly need to wake up earlier than you did this holiday to get everything done on time. I just feel I was left to do everything while you put your make up on, and then we were late anyway for breakfast. It's not fair on the kids who were hungry. I don't mind waking you up earlier if need be."

Yes, she won't want to read that but it's her problem and as an adult and as a parent, she needs to mature and take responsibility for her actions.

DemBonesDemBones · 19/12/2021 19:00

I have not read past the first sentence. YABU for calling children kiddos. 🤮

Pumasonsatsumas · 19/12/2021 19:22

You say, we're leaving in ten minutes. Then in ten minutes, you go.

SouthernFashionista · 19/12/2021 21:39

YABU to use the term ‘kiddos’ Hmm